My sister turned 16 last Tuesday, June 1st. It's hard for me to believe when she was only starting kindergarten when I left for college. I think it means I'm getting old, but I choose to believe that it means she's getting old and growing up.
Last week, on her birthday, I jokingly said to everyone I saw, "Yep, Caitlin's sweet sixteen and never been kissed." I got a mixture of replies, from, "Yeah, that's what she tells you," to "Good for her!" to "Well...there's nothing wrong with that." From her I got this, "Hahaha. I'm watching Queer Eye right now, so I'll talk to you later."
My sister, in case I've never mentioned her to you (which means I don't know you very well) is one of the coolest people I know. She has this incredible artistic ability. She draws well, paints well, crochets well (or is it knitting?), sews well, designs well. She's a terrific actress and is such a good singer that she's one of the youngest girls in an elite singing group at Salem Academy. I know I embarrass her, but I think I've cried at every single performance she's ever done, from "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" to this year's "Meet Me In St. Louis."
Did I mention that she's beautiful? She's gone from cute kid to this knock-out of a teenager. In a picture she recently showed me from a semi-formal dance, I swear she looks like a young Audrey Hepburn (a look she inherited from Mom, but somehow I missed).
I wanted a little sister from age 2 on. Everyone thought it was cute when little Becky (yeah, I was little then too) brought home an invisible little brother, but for me, it was a compromise. At age 3, I figured that if I already had the little brother, the little sister would be along shortly.
Caitlin was born when I was 13. I loved every minute of being a big sister (and it was good birth control to have a crying kid around, too). I loved watching her movies (okay, not Bambi) with her. I loved reading books with her. I loved how she tied up her Barbie dolls naked (she was in a Peter Pan phase for awhile). I loved--really loved--how she'd hit my boyfriends with pillows whenever they came over. Who knew that even then she was such a good judge of character?
I left for college, as I mentioned earlier, when she started kindergarten. She tells me now that I abandoned her, but I talked about her all the time in Chapel Hill. I had pictures of her all over my walls. She came to visit just a couple of times, but I remember stressing over whether she'd enjoy herself.
In my wedding, Caitlin was a junior bridesmaid. She was tiny...and looked miserable in most of the pictures. I think she thought I'd come home after college, but then this Ike guy stole me away.
She grew to like (ok, I think she was just tolerating him at first, but really, she likes him now) Ike, and when Jake was born, she was 13. It's like a perfect circle or something. I was 13 when she was born, she was 13 when Jake was born. She's this great aunt, who seems to have so much patience for a kid who can't stop asking "Aunt Caty" to play.
So, back to my point. After Queer Eye ended and Caitlin and I talked this weekend, she told me. "Becky, you know how you've been saying 'sweet 16 and never been kissed.'" Uh oh. "Well, I got my first kiss in April." Oh no.
Ok, this whole blog is to say this to Caitlin. Caitlin, I think it's wonderful that you found a boy worthy of kissing you. Or anyway, that you think is worthy. I know it's bittersweet, since he lives far away, and I'm sorry. I am excited for you, but I'm sad too. I can't help it. I love watching you grow up, but I also know that you need a big sister less and less. I already know, in case you don't yet, that you're cooler than me. And I know it won't be long before you'll realize that yes, you can do big things in your life and no, you don't have to invite your sister along.
I just miss you, kiddo. I even miss Bambi. I love you. Happy Birthday.
(Okay, I don't miss Bambi.)
Posted by Becky at June 7, 2004 10:41 PM