I must be feeling better!
I can think again! I think I will rant! Rant on!
There are many different groups who collect new unwrapped toys this time of year to help bring joy to the lives of underprivilaged children who otherwise might not have a happy holiday. "Toys for Ta-tas" is the adult entertainment's industries yearly campain to do just that.
There are some people out there who feel that no one should accept toys from this group because they disagree with the groups "morals". I hate that word. These days "Morals" means Anything that I believe. In a sentence: If you don't believe what I do, than you have no morals. What they are saying is These new unwrapped toys overhere are better than those new unwrapped toys over there because this pile was gathered by a church and that pile over there was gathered by women with expensive breast.
Of course, this has a plus side for me. I have never donated a toy in my life to my knowledge, and this time of year I used to feel guilty about that, but thanks to people with "morals", I don't have to feel guilty anymore. They are telling me that it is better to give no toy at all than to give a toy to the wrong charity.
Are you with me so far?
Now put on your special "Woody hat" (Think black fedora with tinfoil lining) and come along on my fantasy journey.
One day I am going to find that I have heat at christmas and my four foot artificial tree is going to have more than dirty carpet underneath it. When that day comes I am going to want to donate a toy to bring joy to a child somewhere. If I am doing really well, I might even want to donate several toys. I have any number of charities that are collecting toys around. I might try split my donation around so each charity gets one toy until I am out of toys. Sounds good right? But we're wearing our black Woody Hat(tm)! On each present, in black sharpie marker in a conspicuous location will be phrases like the following.
The person who donated this toy didn't vote for Bush. (gift 4 of 100)
I don't worship the same way you do. (gift 666 of 1000)
The person who donated this toy is morbidly obease. (gift 2000 of 10000)
I believe in evolution. (gift 101 of 1010)
Islam is just as good as Judism or Christianity (gift 3 of 1000)
All I'll have to do then is kick back with a tasty beverage and wait for the news reports of charities tearing appart their toy supplies looking for hundreds or thousands of inappropriate (or immoral) toys. I wonder how many children go without toys that year because of "morals".
Chaos is mine sayeth the Woody. Everyone give me a "havoc".
Rant off! It feels GREAT to be back!
