There's a downside to living in the country
Turns out that when you live in the country every direction on the compass is down range for someone. Its odd. When the Presidents of the United States of America sung "Peaches" they never mentioned finding a bullet hole in your home and the bullet lodged in the other opposite exterior wall. I am sure I would've remembered if they did. Lets see, moving to the country, eating a lot of peaches, peaches come from a can, put there by a man, in a factory downtown, squish a rotten peach in my fist, dream about a particular woman, making an ant farm, natures candy in a can, or pan or pie. Nope. Nothing. John Denver never said anything about being shot at either. Of course I think we have already established that John Denver is full of shit anyway.
It is here that people who know me would mention a tin foil hat with a good natured grin. Screw the tin foil hat this isn't conspiracy. Bullet, gun, computer room, 13 inches from my computer chair, across the couch, bullet lodged in dry erase board hanging from a nail on the opposite exterior wall. The bullet is in perfect condition. This isn't panic. This is culture shock. You just wait until I get my bearings then you'll see some real panic.
I had a dream folks. Buy some land on the river for cheep, done. Get a good job, save some money build one of those nice ski lodge style houses with the huge windows overlooking the river. Waking up, sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and watch the sun rise before me.
These dreams are shattered now. Ok, maybe not shattered. To continue this dream I must have a good enough job to make enough money so that the huge window overlooking the river is both intelligent glass AND bullet proof.
No, I think my dream is shattered. Now my minds eye shows a bermed dome home that can be barely seen from the ground and virutally invisible to satellite survelience. My view of the river would be via an armored security camera projected on the wall of situation room. The coffee would still be excellent. But even this may not be good enough. Do you remember Star Wars (A New Hope for you geeks out there)? Luke and his aunt and uncle was living in a bermed dome and the imperiels still found the place and set fire to it. It was one of the few time the imperiels were ever credited with, or demonstraited being precise shooters.
A few stats:
Outside entry point was 6.5 feet from the ground.
Interior wall was breached 22.5 inches from the foor.
Hole was 13 inches from my computer chair.
It lodged in the dry erase board on the other exterior wall 38.5 inches from the floor.
The bullet was 1/4 of an inch in diameter and 1 inch long. It came from a high powered rifel.
There is a second hole outside in the underpinning that I am trying to have a relaxed attitude about. It is 12 inches from the ground.
We called the sheriffs office and mentioned what we found. We were told that if it would make us feel better they could send a deputy round to talk to us. This is perfectly reasonable. There is nothing that can be done. We opted against having a deputy visit. No point getting shot at and patronized too. My gentle soul couldn't handle two blows like that in one day.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to do some research on armor plating my trailer.
Comments
Dang.
My praises of a house what will stop small arms fire will be mocked no more!
Posted by: mark | January 25, 2005 9:26 AM
I know how you feel. In the 46 years my family has owned our home it's been shot no less than a dozen times and no one has ever been arrested.
Poor house.
Of course, most of the homes in my east Greensboro neighborhood have seen simular casualties.
But then if I moved to the country, I, like you, would expect to be safer. I'm sorry you don't feel safe now.
Posted by: Billy The Blogging Poet | January 25, 2005 8:34 PM
Oh sweet mother of Gandhi. Then again, every time I've seen your place the same thought has crossed my mind: "Gee, Woody's home looks like a deer. A really big deer with windows. Mmmm, double wide venison." I hope you get everything sorted and that you can feel safe at home again.
Posted by: Adam aka Shaggy | January 26, 2005 9:23 AM
A friend of mine and I were out in the woods once when we were 11 or 12 and found ourselves downrange of someone firing a .22 at something (almost certainly illegally). The bullets probably went five or six feet over our heads, but I can recall even now how they hissed as they went past, and as we talked later we discovered that we had both imagined that we could see the bullets as they passed.
Scary stuff. And I'm fairly pro-gun.
Also, recall that case a few years back of the 2-year-old in Davidson County who was fatally shot in the head while riding his trike in his back yard.
But as the 'burbs continue to push out into what were once woods, I'm sure this kind of thing will only grow more common.
Folks, always, ALWAYS be sure you know what's behind what you're shooting at. Because even you will miss once in a while.
Posted by: Lex | February 7, 2005 2:40 PM