Woody Cavenaugh

This Article, had I read it on April first would've been a pretty funny joke. Only it isn't April first. I read this article on March 29th and close isn't close enough for April fools. What is all this about without reading the article? Let me just quote the title of the article to you.

Curing Obesity through Sterility: California 's Controversial Program Under the Microscope

They are for now giving away free vasectomies to obease men between the ages of 18 and 55. This isn't North Korea or China, this is San Francisco California. Somebody decided that obeasity was a genetic defect and can be cured by keeping tubby butts such as yours truly from making babies. You know, I'm pretty sure that if I did weigh a hundred and fifty pounds less I would still be completely offended by this plan.

According to the article, the California program is voluntary. They modeled it on the India and China model where they pay cash to men to become voluntarily neutered. Now don't get me wrong, its a free country still, so if people want to crawl out of the gene pool, or if the man wants to pay people to agree to leave the gene pool, I am ok.

But this opens a door and my big fear is that one day this could stop being voluntary. I am bothered by the fact that someone has decited that overweight people have less value to society than underweight people. I am pissed off that this group wants to scrub me out of the genepool. I wonder how many amazing people or amazing traits would be eliminated by this shortsighted measure. For all we know this trend towards obeasity has as much to do with the Big Mac as it does with evolution of the species.

Come to think of it, why don't they get McDonalds to voluntarily stop selling the Big Mac to save the gene pool. While we're at it lets get everyone to chop off their pinky fingers so the next generation of mankind can wear smaller gloves.

Either way you cut it, its a losing argument. Obeasity has as much to do with environment as it does with genetics (maybe more), so you can't give us the evolution argument. You can't even use the religous argument as we are the way we were designed to be. The only thing that's left is racial cleansing and that's been tried a few times already in history with terrible and very unpopular results.

You got a problem with my waste line, don't sleep with me. (This was an amazingly effective form of birth control in both high school and college.) Leave my swimmers out of it.

4/1/05 I thought it worth noting that a humor sight Zug claims that this article was their very own hoax. Only they made the claim on April 1st and called "April Fools" on a joke they claimed to have pulled in March. Confused yet? So the entire site this article was found on is a joke, or the joke is that the site the article was found on is a joke. Either way, when governments run by Austrians start talking about cleaning the genepool people should be worried.
So they got me. Its pretty hard to talk about current events when there apparently aren't any. Here's another funny zug.com site.