Woody Cavenaugh

I have been hearing on the local news this undercurrent of "Now Fear This" surrounding this woman who is battling anorexia. The "Fear Factor" sorrounds a bracelet being sold at the website that is used as a way for anorexics to locate others like them as a means of support. Lump in that kids and prisoners have always worn colored jewelry, pants too low, and pants legs pulled up to signify something. Forget the fact that main stream adults can wear, "Livestrong" bracelets, "Bacon is a Vegetable" T-shirts (I'm wearing mine today), and Star Trek Uniforms and it is ok, even accepted. We mock the Star Trek fan, but we do accept them.

On the webpage is a neatly laid out code of what colors signify what, and on other websites you could find other charts that probably even conflict with hers. The internet after all, like the jelly bracelet, is filled with infinite variety.

So here's what I see happening. A bunch of idiot concerned adults are going to organize together to get all bracelets banned in schools, maybe try to make it a crime for children under the age of 18 from wearing any sort of jewelry. On the surface it might even seem like a reasonable solution.

You know, the irony of all this is the group that tries to take away these bracelets are probably the same group that wants drunk drivers and sex offenders to have the fact stamped on the offenders car's liscense plate for the world to see.

If I were a parent, I would do nothing to keep my child from wearing "coded" jewelry. Why? Because now my child is telling me on a daily basis where their head is at. There would be no more, "I had no idea my child was going through that" that we hear every day as one tragedy after another unfolds on TV. The truth isn't "out there" the truth is on their wrist for the parent, teacher, and councilor to see.

If your kid suddenly starts wearing "sexually active" bracelets it means just one thing. You the parent waited just a little too long to have "the talk" and you have some catching up to do right away. If your kid suddenly starts wearing an "anorexia" bracelet it is a billboard on the highway of life asking for help.

Wouldn't you want that kind of knowledge?

I imagine this perfect utopian world where everyone wears a uniform shirt that gives you the skinny on the wearer clearly and simply. They would have phrases like, "Poor Impulse Control", "Mostly Harmless", "Prone to Violence", "Militant Omnivore", "Issues", "Unfaithful", "Saintly", and "Motherly".

Huh, maybe I should go into business making T-Shirts. Here's your sign.