Odd Things Spawn Comedy When Placed Correctly
Friday I was given a care package containing some old fencing clothing in a big plastic bag. I unpacked the bag on the way out the door Friday and didn't notice the plastic breast protectors (Hub Caps) until Monday morning. For those that don't know fencing, the Hub Cap was the first hard protection for women. They are about six inches across and concave made of aluminum or plastic (these were plastic), and because of the way they look are often called hub caps or frisbees. These were then inserted into pockets sewn into the inside of the woman's fencing jacket. The problem was that whoever sewed in the pockets were making some pretty wild assumptions about where a woman's breast is found on the chest. Breasts being like dishes, everyone stores them in the kitchen but not necessarily on the same shelf. This poor system was later replaced by a much better one that gave better protection and didn't require pockets at all. (Later still a mens version was made.) But I degress...
I didn't want to forget to bring them to club so I innocently placed them on my desk so as to not forget them. It was just gear to me and I didn't think another thing about it.
The comedy came in two types.
Type One: The visitor knew what they were.
-A former fencers comes into my office sees them and without missing a beat says, "So, are you planning to get those filled today?"
-Another former fencer comes into my office (a woman), sees them, looks at me like she just noticed I was naked or something and says, "I'm not going to ask. I am simply not going to ask." This was extra funny as she immediately spun around and walked out without asking the question that brought her there to begin with. Turned out she wasn't insulted or anything, just completely shocked by my surprising her. (I see a challenge!)
Type Two: The visitor had no idea what they were.
Him: "What are those things?"
Me: "Armor plated yarmelkes, strait from the manufacture in Isreal."
Him: "You're kidding."
Me: "Not at all, the world is a dangerous place, these slip inside of the lining of a normal yarmelkes to give the wearer protection from snipers."
Him: "What are you doing with them."
Me: (sinister) "Like I said, the world is a dangerous place."
-A project manager walked in picked one up and said, "This is the ugliest salad bowl I have ever seen."
Sometimes the joke is on me:
A woman walked in saw them, grinned at me and said, "Wow! I didn't know you were in to that! Very cool..."
I will go to my grave wondering what she was refering to. My office is decorated in fencing stuff.
