Woody Cavenaugh

Some of you knew I took Wednesday and Thursday of last week off to spend some quality time with the fiddle. Others might have figured out something was up based on Thrusday's blog entry. For the rest of you, (and for the impatient) I offer this recap of Wednesday, Thursday, and a short summery of the events of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

First to recap. Fiddle is the same as Violin except fiddle music is more fun, and violin and violence are closely related. I can now play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Ok, I call it that, you would probably call it screeching noise or something, but it is progress in my book. I predict that in 20 years I will be a raging alcoholic, Martha Stewart, or making music close to this. Either way, I can't do it without professional instruction.

I was watching the news this weekend, a bear attacked a woman and her two children. It killed one child and put her and her other child in the hospital. A massive bear hunt was unleashed to bring the offending omnivore to justice. Apparently that meant kill the first bear you find and send it somewhere to be tested to find out if it was actually the offending bear.

Meanwhile, the entire Duke Lacross team was accused of raping an exotic dancer. No one was arrested as there is no DNA evidence linking any of them to the crime. People were angry that no one was arrested. I guess they wanted the entire team arrested or something. I don't think there is enough room in the Durham County jail for a Lacross team. It will be interesting to see how this one comes out. Jesse Jackson and his Rainbow Push group have announced that they will pay for the victum's college. All of it, even if it turns out that none of the Duke Lacross people were involved. This made a bunch of stuffy white guys pissed off. I am not sure why. Jesse Jackson doesn't care who raped this girl, he just wants to help keep one more person from having to be in that situation to begin with. You remember the situation right? Having to resort to stripping in order to pay their way through college.

My solution to the whole Duke Lacross thing is simple. Kill them all, and run test on the remains to figure out if any of them actually did it. That's how they deal with criminal bears.

That solution in its blazing simplicity came to me while at the NC Zoo Friday and Saturday. The Media was there, filming the bears and talking to the rangers about dangerous bears. The ranger brought up that the dangerous bears are less dangerous than the shy bears because the shy bears tend to hang out in places that people want to hang out at. Fight or flight? You pick one, the bear gets the other one.

Oddly enough they deal with the family pooch the same way they deal with bears. This weekend in some hick town around here, a lawman shot a dog for not being on a chain. The dog in question was standing next to the daughter of the owner of the dog when the "bear" got trigger happy. The bear's reasoning was it was perfectly in his rights to shoot a dog standing next to its owner because it wasn't on a chain. I say we shoot the bear until all this gets sorted out.

And that is what I did during my spring vacation. Written instead of eating lunch. How's that for fan service!