Woody Cavenaugh

Yesterday I went to the zoo, again. Again I had a wonderful time with good friends. Yes, that was three times in a single month. I am sure there are those amoung you who wonder why I would possibly want to go back so quckly. It isn't like the animals are on some sort of fast rotation. The truth is they are.

I love looking at the animals. I like the meercats, fennec foxes, chimpanzes, and ocelots, but my favorite animal of all is people. They entertain me to no end and their antics are simply unending. Being a avid fan of people watching and being in the same place so often I have made one observation that I have no explenation for. There is a huge percentage of pregnant women at the zoo for some reason. I don't have an explanation, but I do have a theory. The zoo, should you see everything is about a six mile walk with plenty of places to stop and rest along the way. It could be that the zoo is an ideal place for those with child to get a little excercise. The exercise was what first attracted me towards a family zoo membership, so from my perspective it certainly seems possible. Again, it is only a theory and I could be wrong.

Sometimes when you stair at chaos long enough patterns emerge. The pattern that emerged for me yesterday was what I have titled "inappropriate T-shirts on teenage girls day". I am not making this up. I actually shared my observations early on with a famale in my group and she saw what I saw. Should a 12 year old be wearing a "Spring Break Cancun '06" shirt? If you say "where's the problem", I have a few websites to show you. I saw, "Taste these round ripe juicy melons". Just to make sure everyone was on the same page, on the front left and right of center where two watermelons. Fruit was popular, I saw one that said, "Do you like my peaches?" I saw two girls in their early teens, everything they knew about how to act they learned from The Simple Life, and apparently no one saw fit to correct them. At the first of the day they were doing the whole Paris and Nichole thing, fortunately as the day went on, they relaxed and became real girls again. Even the one with the "You can't afford to date me" shirt. By the end of the day I figured maybe I could design some children's clothing for the children of Rocky Horror fans. The boys shirt a preshrunk cotton tee. 5-point left chest pocket. Seamless collar. Fully double-needle stitched. Taped shoulder-to shoulder, would read, "Asshole". The girls shirt would be a soft and durable cap-sleeved tee to mix and match with her favorite pants or leggings. It would read "Slut". I could be a millionare overnight apparently.

I also have a new theory on why some children aren't doing well in school these days. Apparenlty some of the parents of those kids are idiots. I was standing there looking at the meercats. Near me is the sign that tells you the name and information about the animal. A woman brought her young child up to the glass between me and the sign. She points to the animals on display and says to her child, "Look honey gophers!". I can see mistaking a bison for a buffalo, but meercat for gopher? With a sign right there???? I can even cut a little tiny bit of slack on the person who looks at the chimpanzee and says, "Look at the monkey". That is of course the same thing as looking at your neighbor and mistaking them for a monkey. I've made similar mistakes myself. I once thought that my nextdoor neighbor had married a sasquach. As it turned out, he had married a six foot four woman with some serious face and body hair issues. Big feet too. Still, I have to confess I nearly went "ape shit" when moments later at the chimpanzee exhibit, I heard a father tell his son, "Look at 'em baby apes." I've got your baby ape right here dumbass. Clearly this debate will rage for well into our future, is stupidity genetic passed down from generation to generation, or is it learned? In my opinion it may be a mixture of both.

Lastly, I have to tell you a funny story. It was a little sad, and very cute, but funny none the less. At the lions, a little boy runs up to the glass to see the lions. *GOOOOONNNNNGGGG* The whole rail reverberates as his little head smacks it at full speed. Just as this happens, his mother not realizing what has just happened, says "Do you see the lions". Nope, but I bet he sure see's stars! Fortunately, he didn't get hurt, he was just so stunned and surprised he only managed an eventual whimper before he was distracted with a bottle of water. (He drank half of it without a breath much to MY shock and surprise.)

I'm looking forward to my next trip to the zoo, who knows what I might discover!