Woody Cavenaugh

She's so vain she probably thinks this blog is about her.

The other night, I was in bed sleeping the sleep of the righeous when Sara checks the voice mail, she makes a shocked noise, restarts the message and holds the phone to my ear. It was voicemail created by a phone spam device, an old one at that. It was the type that started playing as soon as the phone stopped ringing. So some bit of the message was lost as their automated system and my automated system talked without listening to one another. When my system finished its speech and started recording I hear "-like Brad Miller." This seemed pretty positive, "like" is a good word, not so strong as love, what's not to like about it. The phrase, "like Brad Miller" was warm and comfortable. In my sleeping state I really did like Brad Miller. I knew it was right, the voice on the phone told me it was.

Then the next paragraph began. Until the recording time of the message was used up by the spam device, I was insulted in the worst way possible, again and again no less. Vernon Robinson apparently hates me for some reason. He called me a conservative, and I can't think of a more venomous, vile, or mean spirited insult. Worse yet he attacked many of the opinions that I hold near and dear. I can see venting on your blog about me. Isn't that one of the cornerstones that the blogsphere was built upon? But to call my house, insult me, insult my opinions and then threaten to mail something to my house? That's darned near an act of war. My sleep for the rest of the night was fitful and my dreams were of Vernon Robinson chasing me from district to district calling me names.

Days later it came. The threat I heard on the phone was made real. An envelope labeled, "Photo inside do not bend" arrived in my mailbox. On the cover was the same mixed message that came to me via voice mail. More than half of the big envelope was about how much I would probably like Brad Miller. It wasn't a perfect fit, but clearly Brad and I had some common ground to start from. But there it was in the upper right corner, "Robinson for Congress.com" and in the bottom center, "lying congressman". What am I supposed to think?

Inside the envelope was a photo of robinson defending family, faith, and freedom in uniform as he graduates from the US Air Focre Academy in the class of 1977. So he defended my family, faith, and freedom in the war. Which? What? Where? Oh, there wasn't one. So he served in the Air Force able to defend my family, faith, and freedom, should the need arise. That's good! Nice picture too, I hardly knew it was him.

I got a 8.5 by 11 page double sided with five pictures a banner bar and some text. He lists a bunch of people I never voted for, well except Richard Petty. Petty bumped some motorist on 220 some years back for driving too slow, he got my vote on that one. I didn't read past the first paragraph though. It was in blue, so Robinson must be the democrate candidate. Easy enough.

The other is an 11 by 17 folded in half four pages total in red about Brad Miller. I know now that Brad Miller must be the republican candidate, it has one small smiling picture of Mr. Miller on the front, and one small picture of a smiling guy with a foreign sounding name on the back. So Mr. Miller must be popular with folks from various ethnic backgrounds. I do know this, though I haven't read it yet. Based on how much was written about Brad Miller, verses how much was written by himself clearly Mr. Robinson is both modest and is throwing his supporting towards Brad Miller.

He also sent a letter asking for my money and an envelope to send my money to him in. I won't be sending him my money. Partially it is about the mixed messages and insults he hurled my way. That's no way to act. Mostly it is because neither of us actually live in the district he is running for.