Woody Cavenaugh

Music sets the mood, they use it movies and plays. You've heard a song on the radio that depressed you or boosted your mood, made you happy, made you angry, made you energetic. This is not news. It is also not news that very often I blog about stuff that you simply don't care about. Those blogs I write for me. This is one of those me blogs. You are not obligated to read it. If you do, you may gain insight into my character, but it may take effort, and you probably have better things to do.

The followin is my week or so in songs. Often the music means as much as the lyrics so by posting lyric links understand that you may only be getting part of the picture. You can listen at itunes or something to get the rest of the story.
Friday June 9th and the morning of Blades at the Beach, the song was Lose Yourself by Eminem. Clearly the fencing had not started at this time.

Fencing began and "lose yourself" was lost to me. In its place though I didn't hear it, The Air is Getting Slippery by Primus. In this song the music is everybit half of the meaning. This should give you a short sample. Confusion, thinking I had reached all of my goals, deep down inside the feeling of tumbling down into nothingness. This didn't really stop describing me until Sunday morning.

Sunday morning the reality started setting in like a two ton heavy thing...on a pendulem. For the next five days hopeless bleak dispair. None of my goals were met, not even a little. Critical failure and the reality pounded me to a pulp.

Bitterness is the refining fire through which hate becomes determination. By Friday and Saturday morning I was head strong. My past, I felt was behind me and now was the time to scrub out the suck.

10am Saturday morning. Hopeless bleak dispair all over again, this time imagine it in a really really bright room, now turn the volume way way up. Like the lyrics say until I died and went to hell, but my dispair had ascended to heaven, and that's how I finally got rid of it.

Well not excatly. Monday my dispair actually left me starting at lunch and through the rest of the day. Sometimes nothing seems right and you just have to trust someone else to show you the way. They are like angels. It was just like heaven. I was reborn.

Tuesday, even now I find it strange that so many of the songs mention heaven and hell. Today is no different, there's nothing like a bath of fire to get that deep down dirt out of me.

It has been a week of reflect, repent, reboot. I have a goal, it is realistic, and attainable. Ready to rock on port 9999.

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I know me, I'll be back here about September to reassess my situation, and measure outputs. 296 113/66 71