I thought Liberals and Conservatives were idiots.
Yes, the main stream media and the blogsphere had me convinced that the stupidest people in the whole great big wide world were liberals and conservatives, I now know I was mistaken. Liberals and Conservatives are now officially the second stupidest groups of people in the entire world. The new Champions of Lunacy aren't even American. This sacred honor has been bistowed upon the british politicians who came up with the "Anti-Social Behavior Laws" and those morons who enforce those laws. Just like with our own idiots who really and honestly believe they are doing the right thing, the summery of the law doesn't seem too terribly stupid. It is how the law is applied that brings the term "numnutz" to its new and lofty position. Wait, they are from the UK, so I believe the term is acutally numnutze, note the "e" at the end.
I'll bet you are wondering what started this entire tirade? Two stories almost in the same day put me on this rant, in the first one police are busting little girls for playing hopscotch. Apparently the chalk on the sidewalk constitutes an anti-social behavior under the law. I can only imagine how that must have played out. Little girls hopping up and own the sidewalk doing their little sing song thing while they hop and a bobby saunters up.
"Whot's this then?"
"We're playing hopscotch."
"A likely story. A likely story indeed. You know what I see here? Gang signs. That's right, you little tarts are marking your territory. No doubt every one of you have a record down at the yard as young ladies of the night. You're a clever bunch, you probably turn your tricks, and still make it back before your bedtimes. Well teddy isn't going to be there where your're sleeping tonight."
I actually let this one go. I read it, rolled my eyes, mumbled something offensive under my breath and kept skimming the news. Then I see an article about three twelve year olds who were arrested, finger printed, photographed, DNA sampled, and tossed in a cell. Their heinous crime? Climbing a tree. Specifically suspician of damaging a tree by climbing. I suppose when this goes to court they will also tack on attempting to build a treehouse without the proper permits and as there were two girls and a boy a possible felonious cohabitation charge of some kind.
Once when I was in high school we did a children's show around christmas. The show was very successful and we felt we had pulled off quite a performance. After the last show we gathered back stage and ended up spontaniously breaking out into song. The total cast and crew were about 20 if memory serves and every one of us were joyously singing our collective hearts out. Meanwhile....out in the main auditorium a teacher's aid from one of the local elementary schools heard the faint sounds of joy and teamwork comming from somewhere back stage. Two hours later we're all sitting in a classroom being screamed at by a frothing at the mouth principal (named Gordon Patrick btw). We were threateded with every punishment up to and including expulsion. We were not allowed to speak. We were not allowed to raise our hands. We were not allowed to talk to anyone. We were not allowed to go to the press. Our crime? Apparently after the show we went back stage and worshipped. I'm not kidding. That was the charge. Gordon Patrick really helped to shape me into the mildly paranoid, angry, and disrespectful to authority person I am to this very day. Thank you very freakin' much *sshole. You just reminded me to add your name to the list. Since I am going in Chronological order your name goes near the top of the list just under Ms. Hesser.
On the other hand, without his asinine behavior shaping my fertile little mind I might not see a problem with kids being harassed by the british po-po for hop scotch or climbing a tree. My lord! Worse yet I might have been a conservative who wouldn't have allowed the tree to grow in the first place or a liberal who would have granted the tree welfair and voting rights. The more I think about this the ANGRIER I GET.
Swell.
