Woody Cavenaugh

I be marooned upon the shores of my home port whist me buxom beauty be off to spend the holiday with her own people. So the cats, the dog, and I are splicing the mainbrace with a bottle or several of Cavenaugh Red. Well, truth be told the animals are all pretty much taking a caulk right now, but I and the empty bottles around me all assure you, we might be alone, but we are in fact very merry!

In case ye didn't note me parlance, I be reading Pirattitude! by John "ol' Chumbucket" Baur and Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers. Twas a gift from Cameron the Red, and of the saucy wenches I've know, a very few be finer than she, mark my words.

Man, even pirate man, doesn't live off of wine and rum alone, there be fried chicken to reckon with, and I've had my fill of that this day too. It be a fine day for drinking, eating, and merry making, and I hope as much joy as I have in me heart and me head that each and every one of you have double!

If the wind is right may we suck the monkey together in the new year. What? Don't you like coconut rum? More for me than! Arrrrr! And I'll keelhaul any man thinks of plundering St. Nick, or taking broadsides with his sleigh. What I don't keelhaul will be dancing with Jack Ketch!

And to all a goodnight!