Woody Cavenaugh

The PMI (Project Management Institute) has taught me that a simple lie is much better than a complete truth. I suppose it should have been obvious, politics has been teaching us this for years. Truth? You can't handle the truth? Politicians only get into trouble when their lies start to get so complex they start to resemble truth, then they get into trouble.

So for anyone out there thinking of becomming a certified project manager with the project management institute I would recommend you create a simple lie about your past experience.

For instance, they didn't blink when I told them I spent 10 years working with Lyndono, and the past seven years with Virgin Intergalactic leading the Firefly class freighter project.

Maybe I should run for political office or something. Clearly I am qualified.

Nah. I can't do it. For one it isn't the Banzai way. And for two, I believe in an afterlife. I'd hate to screw that up. On the other hand, I'm going to be pretty pissed off if I find out that this was it, and I wasted so many opporunities because I was fretting over an immortal soul.

I'm not taking any chances. I don't care how many opportunities at career, wanton sex, and wealth I miss out on. In your face PMI!