Woody Cavenaugh

My plan the night before was to get up early, get ready early and on the way into work stop by wally world for the supplies to finish up the outside. Then on the way home from work I'd go by and pick up a tree. The reality was that I woke up when I was supposed to be leaving. I had to do the bare minimum necessary to be non-offensive while at work. So I can brush my teeth, put on cloths, and since I'm not showering anyway I won't have to fix my hair. Its still fixed from the day before. Eww! Gross! It was too.

I managed to arrive at work on time, but I had to skip wally world to do it. New plan. I'll try to slip out of the office early, drop by wally world, get a tree, get home, finish up the outside and prep the tree before it gets too dark, then spend the evening working on the inside.

The day at the office was pretty uneventful. I laid low so people wouldn't notice that I hadn't showered, and slipped out of the office just early enough to get what I needed to get without getting home later than usual.

Ah the best laid plans of mice and men... Wally world had a surprise for me. What I needed was by the home and garden entrance so I went in and checked out there. What I didn't plan on was that Home and Garden is an oubliette it is a place wally world management puts staff when they want to forget about them. The register girl needed manager assistance, and the managers needed to continue ignoring her. The door greeter was no help, they were swamped saying "Welcome to wally world" to the people coming in and "have a nice day" to the people who stomped out in a huff when they couldn't buy stuff quickly enough. Its the holidays and I have a mission, so I stood in line, smiled at everyone warmly and didn't let the delay add to the chilly mood the room was already in. Probably didn't help that the Lawn and Garden area is uninsulated and drafty. Finally after twenty five minutes a surly manager showed up. My guess is they were surly because they drew the short straw and had to go out there into the wilds of Lawn and Garden. Who cares, I smiled at them too, and soon the line was moving again.

Next plan, get a tree. Sara had been sniffing the trees at our local grocery store longingly since thanksgiving, and they were less expensive than the ones on the tree lots, so I swooped in like an eagle to get my tree and get going again. Is there some sort of Holiday Karma I don't know anything about? If so I must be running a little low. The register lady didn't know how to ring up a Christmas tree and I had to wait five minutes for her to brave the microphone and ask for assistance. In the face of this second road block I kept my calm, smiled warmly at all the people in the express line who were glaring at the butt head who was responsible for keeping them from their cigarette purchases. Not surprisingly they did not smile back at me.

Finally tree in hand, I trotted towards the car. I'll bet you've been sitting here patiently waiting for me to get to this part. Me 1997 Saturn SL2, and a seven foot Christmas tree. I leaned the tree against the side of the car and started to open the trunk when I noticed a father and a young girl watching me. He was grinning in much the way I imagine you are grinning right now about how I'm going to pull this off.

Before I went into the store I pushed the front passenger seat all the way up and I lowered the back seat on the passenger side. So at that moment, all I had to do was open the trunk and put the tree in as far as I could. There was some string around the tree I could use to tie the trunk down. Hopefully I could get at least half in right?

I picked up the tree and pushed it into the open trunk and just kept pushing easily until suddenly the tree was in...entirely...I quickly closed the trunk like I knew exactly what I was doing the whole time and I heard the little girl gasp. Christmas magic! I was grinning like a maniac because I didn't know it was going to be that easy, and they didn't know I didn't know that. I opened up the driver's door and turned to them, "Merry Christmas". Mission accomplished with extra points for style.

I have to admit at this point that I had no earthly idea how I was going to get it out again, but by that time I would be at home alone and no one would be there to see me struggle. Turned out it was easy to get out too. All I had to do was lower the back seat on the driver's side, empty the trunk on the driver's side, push the top of the tree all the way to the left, and pull the stump end out the passenger side door. I love it when a plan comes together!

But first things first, I have to finish the outside, timer, ladder, drop cord, and pretty soon the front of the place was about as festive as it could possibly be without one of those giant inflatable train sets. (I really wanted Snoopy ice skating with a Santa hat on, but I didn't see one and the stuff I did see was way out of my budget anyway.)

By about seven I was finished with the big outdoor lighting project and I could focus all of my energies on the tree. By eight I had all of the lights on and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was on TV in place of NCIS. By nine I was finished with all of the strings of beads and most of the ornaments.

Some people decorate their trees so fully that once they're finished you can barely see what the stuff is hanging on. It can look like they are afraid the neighbors might find out that the tree they are using came out of a box, so they cover every branch with everything they could cart out of the after Christmas sales the year before. I'm not knocking it. They look beautiful, but for my tree I feel like every ornament should have a story to tell. This may be because as a child the tree was decorated with things I had made in school, a package of shrinky dinks I burned along with myself trying to make, and the one a year keepsake ornaments mom bought each year. Sure it was filled out with five and dime ornaments, but those mom had purchased in the 60's so to me they were cherished antiques.

Every year since 1979 mom and I went out and bought one ornament with the year on it. Usually a hallmark ornament and after the first three years we got the idea of buying them as part of a series, so eventually we would have a matching set. By the time I got married there were two matching limited edition sets for the tree and all of them went with me, which was mom's plan the whole time. I also have a handful of ornaments given by friends who either made them, or gave something with a specific meaning behind it. The only ornaments that were bought from the store strait out are the set of ten or twelve sleigh bells which tell a story themselves. They tell me whenever one of the cats starts playing in the tree. I have one ornament that I will never hang again, a pretty little ceramic piece with a slot for a picture. The picture is of my ex girlfriend. I have also decided not to hand one of the sets purchased in my youth. Its not that I don't like them, I just feel like all of those Star Trek space ship ornaments deserve their own tree, maybe a the office.

It was a magical night where the whole family pitched in to help.

OK, Max pitched in. The others weren't as supportive, and to be truthful Max wasn't as helpful as he might have wanted to be.

I was just putting on the finishing touches when Reaper came on. Yep, I decorated the tree to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer followed by Reaper. Once the tree was done I could then focus on all the little extra bits which by themselves wouldn't amount to much, but added to the whole just might make that perfect finishing touch. I made wreathes. Sure I could have bought pre-decorated, and pre-lit wreathes but I couldn't justify paying twenty dollars each for them when a plain undecorated wreathe was three dollars. I am sure that I can be creative for way less than seventeen dollars each, and I was.

Now to bed, regular time, Phase Two complete.