Lost Horizons
I finally figured out something that had been nagging mildly at me each and every time I went home to the coast. I had always just assumed that I preferred it there because it was home, and that was that. But it kept nagging at me anyway. The feeling was either I had the wrong answer or an incomplete answer.
I was sitting on the back deck gazing up at the night sky with a cup of coffee in my hand and my wife on my head set. The constellations were laid out before me clear from horizon to horizon. I did like it better on the coast. Yes, it was the salt air, yes it was the sandy gray soil, yes it was the fact that I was born and raised there, but it was much more. It occurred to me that the places I was most at home were those places with long horizons. The only place I felt near as relaxed, was out west on the great plains. My soul craves open sky. Though it had never occurred to me before, the 'boro is just a little claustrophobic. The views I like best are those with the most visibility and the most visible sky. I am happy to visit the mountains but I do not truly live until I see the great wide open on all sides. I know to that if I moved to the plains eventually I would feel the nagging again. The sky would be right, but the air and the soil would be wrong.
It was verified driving north along the coast from Newport to Elizabeth city along highway 17. I hadn't felt so natural and whole in a long time. The only thing missing was the Fairlane, and the unobstructed views afforded by the lack of a B piller.
It makes no difference though, the money is here, my friends are here, my life and my wife are all here. I'm not going anywhere, but at least I know what that odd pull is now. Now matter where you go, there you are. Best to make peace with it.
