A Curse Upon Arbies
For the second time since being married to Sara we opted to have Arby's for dinner. For the second time since being married the car broke down in the parking lot of an Arby's For those of you who believe in coincidence you are probably thinking "Wow, what are the chances?" For those of us who don't believe in coincidence we are thinking, "Huh, I wonder why that happened." To make matters more interesting in both cases events occurred to cause the car's belt to come off. In the first case the tensioner broke and took the belt with it, thus making putting the belt back on impossible. This time the belt came off whole. The tensioner seemed fine, so perhaps one of the other pulleys are having intermittent issues.
When dealing with any problem dad always taught me to explore the simplest answers first. OK. So why would someone lay a curse on me that caused my car to break down every time I went to an Arby's. That's just crazy talk! I have eaten at Arby's alone before and had no car trouble at all.
So why would someone lay a curse on me that caused my car to break down every time I went to Arby's with family. That includes all of the constants. Saturn, Sara, Arby's, and Me. I can't imagine why someone would lay such a specific curse upon me. I have always been kind to the folks behind the counter. They have the power to spit in my food if I cross them. I also have no preference for the ethnic group that prepares my food (unlike some I've blogged about recently).
Other clues? On the other side of the parking lot someone else was having car trouble. I should have found out what they were having problems with. That could have been an important clue. Since someone else was having car trouble at the same time in the parking lot of an Arby's perhaps I am not the target of the curse. I wonder if the Arby's symbol, seen recently hovering over the heads of customers in their commercials is also some ancient and pissed off symbol? It seems likely that someone would have noticed that by now. Ancient tombs or ancient tablets inscribed with a roast beef chain's logo would have made the news somewhere. This is probably not it.
It could be an Arby's competitor. Some company who wants to make people feel negative about eating at Arby's. It would have been easier and more powerful to make the people who eat at Arby's sick. This means that the ones responsible are ethical. That rules out most of the fast food world. I'm left with Subway, Chiplote, and Chick-fil-A off the top of my mind.
Arby's and Chiplote are not competitive, they don't serve the same foods or target the same demographic. That leaves Subway and Chick-fil-A. Subway is owned by Doctor's inc. Doctors wouldn't want to hurt people. But they are also a group that doesn't do "belief" they do their provable facts with questionable chemicals that fix symptoms with side effects that are generally mild and probably not worse then the symptom they are trying to suppress.
Chick-fil-A is a Christian run organization. They wouldn't hurt people as a first choice. They choose belief over fact. Hoodoo is a Christian form of magic that could work exactly like I have experienced. The company and Arby's both target the same demographic. Arby's sells salads and chicken sandwiches. They also sell yummy roast beef sandwiches as their primary product. Chick-fil-A's motto is "Eat more Chicken" and is illustrated by terrorist bovines. I think we have a winner here.
The spell is clever. It doesn't cause EVERY car to break down that goes to Arby's. First the car must have the entire family in it. Then the spell targets the weakest part of the car, nudging it towards failure. If the part is already in bad enough shape the spell is enough to cause it to fail completely. If the weakest link is strong enough nothing happens. This means that for most people there wouldn't appear to be a curse at work. This is the work of a very clever root doctor.
I love roast beef sandwiches as much as the next guy, but I just can't afford the car repairs right now.
