Children make lousey leak stoppers
After lunch The Niece suggested smoothies. We figured that was a reasonable idea so we went. We were just pulling out of the parking lot when she announces that she dropped her cup and some spilled. She was pretty upset because she knew that it was in the new car. Sara and I were quick to pass back every napkin we had and to reassure her that it was OK. Accidents happen, and cars can be cleaned.
Then she told us about the hole in her cup. Thinking quickly I told her to put her finger over the hole. When we got back to work, I could give her a new cup from the package I had in my cube. Good plan right?
Have you ever felt like sometimes the world was conspiring against you? Religious or not, you suddenly get the sinking feeling that some force greater than yourself was making your life difficult for their own amusement? Yeah. That happened here.
Every turn Sara made seemed to take us further and further from the office. Every road she took was blocked, being constructed on, finding herself behind someone lost, etc. We caught every stop light. Pedestrians were at every crosswalk. In the back seat The Niece was getting more and more hysterical because the drink was cold and it was freezing her fingers.
The panic was spreading to Sara who was dealing with traffic and trying to calm the girl child. I was breathing slowly and deeply, willing myself into a state of perfect calm. I made not a sound. I was also working furiously on plan "B", which was to drink my smoothy as fast as humanly possible and give my cup to The Niece. Every 90 seconds we had to remind her that in civilized places like Greensboro, you can't just throw your cup out the window.
I finished my smoothy just as we were pulling into the parking lot of the office.
I gave her my cup, which she put around her damaged cup. Mission accomplished! Then I took her inside to wash up. She was covered in peach smoothy. The whole way she kept talking about how cold her fingers were. So cold she couldn't feel them. At least they didn't hurt. But they hurt. Well, at least she could still feel them.
Sara stayed behind to do some damage control on the vehicle.
Sitting in the lobby, mission accomplished- so I believed. The only sound in the whole place was the gentle hum of the air conditioner and the wailing of a sobbing 10 year old. I willed myself to spontaniously combust. I couldn't go in after her. I could only wait, and suspect what she did to cause so much pain. I was pretty sure she cranked up the hot water to wash up. Hot water on cold fingers is never a good plan. Never ever.
Finally she came out. Her dress looked like an army of 10 year old boys used her for target practice at a peach picking. Her eyes are red from crying and she is clearly embarassed.
Sara IM'd me later that The Niece was sullen but otherwise OK, at least until she climbed into the shower. Then she sobbed loudly again.
Dinner was hotdogs from a street vender in Center City Park and an hour of playing in the water around the fountains before we discovered that she didn't bring dry shorts to change into. The hotdogs were pretty good, so I suppose it could have been a lot worse.
All in all I think we gained some valuable lessons. Children make lousey leak stoppers. Street vendors make good hotdogs. You can pack almost enough cloths to change into after playing in the water. 10 year old girls are not shy about undressing in front of you. I need a pair of peril sensitive sunglasses to wear when The Niece is around.
