Woody Cavenaugh

Some Hawaiian idiot by the name of Rida Cabanilla (A replublican) has introduced a resolution wanting to weigh and grade teachers on the scale and punish any who are supersized. Their argument is that 20 percent of Hawaii's children are overweight and if the teacher is overweight too they are to blame as they are the bad example.

Article here.

The part that made me say, "Yes, this idiot is a republican" is this quote from the idiot in question:

"As a matter of fact, we should start at home, but since the legislature has no way to regulate homes, we can at least start in school," Cabanilla said. "And teachers have a lot of impact to these students."

That right there my friends is chilling.

Posted by at 8:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

This Article, had I read it on April first would've been a pretty funny joke. Only it isn't April first. I read this article on March 29th and close isn't close enough for April fools. What is all this about without reading the article? Let me just quote the title of the article to you.

Curing Obesity through Sterility: California 's Controversial Program Under the Microscope

They are for now giving away free vasectomies to obease men between the ages of 18 and 55. This isn't North Korea or China, this is San Francisco California. Somebody decided that obeasity was a genetic defect and can be cured by keeping tubby butts such as yours truly from making babies. You know, I'm pretty sure that if I did weigh a hundred and fifty pounds less I would still be completely offended by this plan.

According to the article, the California program is voluntary. They modeled it on the India and China model where they pay cash to men to become voluntarily neutered. Now don't get me wrong, its a free country still, so if people want to crawl out of the gene pool, or if the man wants to pay people to agree to leave the gene pool, I am ok.

But this opens a door and my big fear is that one day this could stop being voluntary. I am bothered by the fact that someone has decited that overweight people have less value to society than underweight people. I am pissed off that this group wants to scrub me out of the genepool. I wonder how many amazing people or amazing traits would be eliminated by this shortsighted measure. For all we know this trend towards obeasity has as much to do with the Big Mac as it does with evolution of the species.

Come to think of it, why don't they get McDonalds to voluntarily stop selling the Big Mac to save the gene pool. While we're at it lets get everyone to chop off their pinky fingers so the next generation of mankind can wear smaller gloves.

Either way you cut it, its a losing argument. Obeasity has as much to do with environment as it does with genetics (maybe more), so you can't give us the evolution argument. You can't even use the religous argument as we are the way we were designed to be. The only thing that's left is racial cleansing and that's been tried a few times already in history with terrible and very unpopular results.

You got a problem with my waste line, don't sleep with me. (This was an amazingly effective form of birth control in both high school and college.) Leave my swimmers out of it.

4/1/05 I thought it worth noting that a humor sight Zug claims that this article was their very own hoax. Only they made the claim on April 1st and called "April Fools" on a joke they claimed to have pulled in March. Confused yet? So the entire site this article was found on is a joke, or the joke is that the site the article was found on is a joke. Either way, when governments run by Austrians start talking about cleaning the genepool people should be worried.
So they got me. Its pretty hard to talk about current events when there apparently aren't any. Here's another funny zug.com site.

Posted by at 8:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The bible seems to somehow beyond all logic be responsible for more bad behavior than any other non-mind-altering influence. And the bible isn't to blame, its the idiots using it that need to be feared.

Case in point. A guy in Colorado rapes a woman at gunpoint for two hours before fatally shooting her. Clearly this is a guy who needs to get needled in that final fatal way. The jury thought so too. Yeah justice! The Colorado Supreme Court threw out the death penalty on the appeal because five jurors consulted the good book during deliberations. Umm...what?? More specifically OMG! WTF??? Read it here.

This wasn't the judge spouting bible verses.
This wasn't the lawyers spouting bible verses.
This was a juror referencing bible verses.

Ironically, if I had been a juror, I would've been referencing "Punisher" comics and nothing would have come of it. At least with the bible, you have a fifty-fifty chance. The old testimate god was hellfire and brimstone, the new testimate god was peace love and liberal thought. Modern Day christians graze at the buffett of several thousand years of religious thought and pick and choose revenge or forgiveness as it suits them. (This really pisses me off btw, but that is another rant called, "How Many gods do Those Christian Guys Have Anyway?)

Separation of Church and State!? When the the christian dictator throws me to the lions I will be shouting about seaparation of church and state...well up until I get mauled, then I will probably be screaming like a little girl. Clearly though, this didn't cross the line. Jurors can refer to anything they want to come to a conclusion. I did a little informal poll around the office, I told them what the guy was convicted of and asked them, "a. Life in prison, or b. death penalty?" They all chose option "C". "Kill him myself." No one referenced any religous text, legends, dieties, or curses to come to that decision.

Can we just have a little sanity please? Why does everyone have to use the bible as an excuse to be a dumbass? I am pretty sure that if you polled all the gods mentioned in the bible they would all agree, that this isn't the behavior they want out of their followers.

Posted by at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I had some terrific comments on my Friday's blog entry about Terri Schiavo, and they inspired in me a frightening realization. There are a whole slew of people out there who have a strong and persistant desire to force their will on others. Let me make it clear, I'm not talking about people with opinions. I love people with opinions. I pride myself on having opinions. I'm talking about people who are comming together to force their will on someone they do not know or otherwise would not care about, such as Terri Schiavo.

I just did a google search on Terri Schiavo and the number one hit was an organization banding together to "fight for her life". Some other groups were fighting in the name of the family, some were fighting in the name of the husband, some were fighting in the name of god, a couple were even fighting for Teri's rights. My favorite link had a plugin for firefox that kept you abreast of her mortal status. The overwelming majority of the hits were news links on the story.

All weekend on TV were people who were going to do everything they could to make sure that Teri was kept alive. Most of them said it was their moral obligation. I hate it when people stick their morals where they don't belong. I imagine all of these people are officers in neighborhood associations dictating what color all the houses have to be and how high the azalias are allowed to grow. I simply can't fathom why I would pay for a house, pay for repairs, pay for a lawn mower and gas for the mower, pay for the pool, sleep in the house, have sex in the house, and eat breakfast in the nude in the house, when some butthead down the block is dictating the color of my house, the size of the flag I can have, the ammount and type of flowers, and the car I may or may not leave in the driveway. Its none of their business. Yet, there they are forcing me to live by their opinions, whims and morals. But I have the ability to fight this, I choose not to live in neighborhoods with people like this. Yes, where I live has a neighborhood association, but its only purpose is to keep the mudholes filled, nothing in the bilaws says I even have to have to have a house. Its main concern is that every year I pay a small fee so the dirt road can be repaired.

Do I degress? Lets find out.

In the Terri Schiavo trainwreck, the husband has power of atterny. She told him in life that she didn't want to be kept alive in these conditions. He authorized the removing of the tubes. Her parents objected, I have no problem with that. They went to court over it, that's what the courts are for. The courts sided with the husband. This issue is over. Everyone who has a right to have any say in the matter have had their say and the subject is closed. Who the heck does Tom DeLay and Jeb Bush think they are to try to stop it? All of those protestors out there are fighting with their every breath to take away the rights of Terri and her husband. They want to pass a law so that everyone who ever finds themselves with a love one in this situation, have no rights to make what they feel is the best decision for their love one. What really creeps me out is that these people "Fighting for Terri and others like her" are stating that they are right because, they know what's best, god is on their side, or both.

Not so very long ago in world history, a man stood up for what he believed in. He gathered his people around him and faught to do what was right because they knew best. Millions of jews, gays, others, and handicapped people were slaughtered because Hitler was doing what Hitler thought was best. I am thinking if he had stopped to ask the Jews what was best for the Jews they probably wouldn't have said, "Put us in concentration camps, take all of our possessions, and kill us." But, to be fair, Hitler wasn't doing it for the Jews, he was doing it for himself and his people.

And here we are today. A bunch of people are forcing their will on a group of people with no real concern for the thoughts wishes and desires of that group. Even if I have a living will drawn up, it doesn't guarantee that my wishes will be followed. Some fool could step in and do everything I do not want done. What do they really want? Do they want to bankrupt my family? Are they investors in some new company whose purpose is to keep these folks alive for profit? Are they so afraid of death and what may or may not lay beyond that they won't let anyone find out. My theory is that way way deep down where their eyes don't go, they know they are wrong, and they are afraid of the consequences.

My living will is going to state that if anyone attempts to act against my will, we should both be shot everyday until we are dead. This way we will be in a position to debate the issue as equals rather than I be a slave to their righteous whims.

The real funny part of this is how much it reminds me of a chapter in the Douglas Adams improbably misnamed trilogy, "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy". In one chapter the main characters are in a restaurant meeting the dish of the day. It was a creature who, to prevent crualty to animals, was bred to not only want to be eaten, but to be able to clearly say so. One main character from Earth, Arthor Dent could not stomach the concept of eating something that wanted to be eaten and could communicate that fact clearly. He opted for a green salad. The dish of the day told him that he knew of many vegistables that were quite clear on the subject. Arthor changed his order to a glass of water. This humorous story has a great deal to say about the way the minds of people work.

Posted by at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For what it worth anyway.

When this story first came to light it was barely a blip on my radar, it was simply a legal thing. As time went on and the debate heated up I got more and more interested. And yes, I debated the whole thing in my head, round and round I went. I don't mind a little grey in my life. Nothing ever is truly black and white, but what was puzzling me was this problem was exactly dead center neutral. There was equal balance and this simply doesn't happen.

It raised a red flag in my mind. I spend the next couple of days figuring out a few important points.
1. Legally there is absolutely no debate.
2. Emotionally there is absolutely no solution.
3. Factually there is no compromise.

Ok, three is actually not a true statement. The problem is we are currently in the comprimise position. Terri Schiavo is both equally living or dead based on your definition. There are three major and conflicting opinions on what "alive" is.

1. There is brain activity.
2. There is heart activity.
3. There is a soul in the body.

One and two are easily metted out. There is no brain activity* and her brain is turning to a tiny little ball of mush as we speak. So by brain activity she is dead. However, her heart is beating without the aid of a machine. Therefore by that argument she is very much alive. Point three is purely philosophy and therefore impossible to prove or disprove. It is the land of belief.

All of the actual "debate" about what to do with her stems from emotional responses. The fundi religious types as a rule believe that if the heart beats, there is a soul, so you must do everything you can to save the life (like abortion), even if it cost the life of another (like pregnet women with medical conditions), or the person being "saved" will never recover in any way (Like Terri or a deformed fetus). They have been indoctronated to believe that they are doing "good" by fighting for the rights of people like Teri Schiavo.

I disagree with them, and find their position spiritually ironic really. They see Teri Schiavo as a life they must extend at any cost even though she cannot recover. I see Teri Schiavo as nothing more than a prison holding a trapped and tortured spirit. That's why I have so little regard for the fundies. They are so caught up in righeousness that they forget to see the big picture.

But at any rate. The real problem isn't spiritual but legal. Teri's parents had complete say in the matter until she got married. Marriage is a contract and now the husband has the legal rights. The parents are so caught up in the incredible and unsurmountable emotion of it all that they are blind. I think if they were watching this on TV about someone else's daughter they would see the reality of what is and what is not and would make a rational decision.

But the world is an insane place as I have already brought up. So the political monster bit into the whole Teri Schiavo soundbite and is sucking out the marrow. I feel the involvement of the White House and Brother Jeb, is simply a ploy to rally the votes of a vocal conservative fundi mass. Bush has an empire to build after all.

While we are on the subject of what I believe, I am for the removing of her feeding tubes based on the fact that there is no brain activity* and what little grey matter is left will never recover. This said, I know her heart is beating so her body functions for now. What does this make her? Strip away all of the emotion for a second. All that is left is human parts in excellent condition. She could improve the quality of a whole bunch of lives, and those parts are being damaged beyond use as we speak.

*I realize that there is actually brain activity which is responsible for her breathing, heart beat, and the rest of the autonomic nervous system. However this does not allow her to think or feel. The lights are on, but no one's at home. This is what is known as "brain dead". Philosophically you exist, but you do not live.

Posted by at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I just read an article that was so astonishingly asinine that I really though it was satire. Then I read the house bill. Now I am wishing with all of my might that it was satire.

Here's the story in a nutshell. Lets imagine you are a professor at a university. You are teaching class the same way you always have in whatever subject you are teaching. You are very familiar with your subject matter and probably published a book on the subject. One day you find yourself sued by a student. Why? Because the student didn't agree with you! WTF???

You think I am making this up? Here's the article.
You think/hope/wish this were satire or early April fools? House Bill 837 is reality

College is where one goes to learn to jump through hoops. Your reward for this is a piece of paper that certifies you can jump through a hoop. If you want a masters, you are proving you can jump through a flaming hoop. If you get your phd, the flaming hoop is moving. The side effect of college is you have the opportunity to learn stuff. What is taught is what is though to be facts as we know it, or at the very least the best theories available to us based on a civilizations collective research and thought. As a professor you are trying to instill critical thinking and a general understanding of how the world works. This isn't always cut and dried. Take literature for instance. I had english professors try to convince us of great complexity and dept about very small simple poems. There isn't any fact to the meaning of a poem unless the poet actually explained it. Chemestry on the other hand is extremely fact driven. Every time I drop a rock of sodium in this glass of water the same thing occures.

Critical thinking is the ability to disagree and debate why you disagree. Its the piller upon which our whole education system stands. It is knowledge through proof. It is the one and only skill that college teaches.

Students use the critical thinking skills they have learned to make their own judgements about things. Most everyone agrees that sodium dropped in water will always behave the same way. Everyone knows that to pass professor Whoever's poetry class all you have to do is say that every time a poet describes a flower they are really talking about a woman's sexual organs. The student knows that this might not actually be the case, but knows that to do well you have to just go along with the flow and keep your own opininons about the flower as a metaphor for the rise of the Roman empire to yourself...for now. One day you might get go for your masters, phd, or teach a poetry class and all flowers can be poltical statments if that is your choice.

In Florida what they want to be able to do is allow a student to sue the poetry professor if you think the flower is just a flower, or if you think that sodium behaves the way it does because the alien mice are quietly pulling the strings behind your back. They are trying to remove the critical thinking and civilizations collective knowledge aspects of an education and replace it with... Well, that's not clear. I think what they want is that a student goes to college goes to class, refuses to jump through any hoops, or grow in any way, and as soon as you pay the bill you are handed a piece of paper which now means...I guess nothing. Oh wait, it does mean something. It means that you bought a piece of paper.

They seem to be doing this to protect the beliefs of those whose beliefs may be at odds with the seeking of truth. These people don't want to think. They have been told what to believe and they aren't going to let anything silly like critical thought or truth seeking get in the way of that.

Attention: If you have beliefs that you don't want anyone threatening, you can't go to college. Critical thinking is what college is about, and if you are worried about your beliefs being brought in to question you shouldn't go anywhere that questions anything as a matter of practice. If you do you are stupid, and I don't believe you should reproduce.

God abhors stupidity, thats why accidents are always painful.

Posted by at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Two good people lost their lives yesterday on Aycock Avenue. One was a well respected member of UNCG"s administration, the other a high school student who volunteers at the Urban Ministry.
The Greensboro News and Record has a good article on what happened.

Ironically, while this news was getting out yesterday morning, I was reading this comic from Something Positive.

And then there's Billy Joel's song "Only the good die young".

The meaning I created for myself from all of this: In the set of all people bound for heaven, the almighty would rather be surrounded by the cool and interesting folks, so naturally they would be the first recalled.

I find that comforting somehow.

Posted by at 8:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This ia a funny story about fencing. Really. I admit the core of the story is anything but funny, but the hysterical events surrounding it couldn't have occurred without it. Either that, or I have a sick and twisted since of what's funny.

This story was related to me by Kathy Walters, who is not only our armorer, but a nationally rated USFA certified armorer.

Apparently in Denver recently at a NAC-D there was an accident involving a women's saberist. Someone established a point in line and she threw out a parry three to take right of way and initiate a repost. Her timing was off and her opponent's unbroken saber blade pierced her glove* and entered her wrist, the blade ran under the skin up to the elbow where it nicked a blood vessel. No one noticed this fact until the fencers returned to guard and one of them was spurting blood.

* The armors put their heads together and could only count six times that a similar injury has happened in the past two years. For a toy maker, babyfood maker, or any other industry, six accidents in two years does not even create a blip on the radar. In the sport of Fencing, if an accident occures six times in two years on the whole of planet Earth, its the same as a full scale CDC Red Alert pandemic. The spec on the saber blade was changed two years ago to be stiffer, thus helping to eleminate scoring by the blade whipping over the parry and striking valid target. This is not the problem. The problem was when using this new spec blade you were wearing your same old tired three weapon glove. In my case, my first three gloves were nothing but threads in the palms before I ever considered replacing them. My newest glove I consider in "new" condition and it has one hole from an unbroken epee blade going right through the soft, thin, supple, washable, leather material in the palm. Plans are underway as we speak both by venders and the world wide armoring committee to revamp the spec for the three weapon glove to prevent this accident from happening again. For now, it is up to the fencers to replace their gloves when they get worn. The glove is after all about the cheapest piece of fencing equipment you can buy.

Now for the funny part. (See I told you there would be a funny part).

When the accident occured, a very well oiled machine sets into motion getting the required, on site EMT to administer first aid while the bout committee gets an ambulance then gets the paramedics to the fencer in need. Outside of this well oiled machine however lives chaos and anarchy and every one of them is carrying a cell phone. Some well meaning fencer called 911 and reported a "stabbing", which though technically correct, wasn't the best descriptor under the circumstances.

Since it was called in as a "stabbing", the police had to be called to verify the location was safe before the paramedics could enter the building. Since the police and the ambulance was responding, the fire department must respond. So for a flesh wound caused by a fencing accident, we have a police car, a fire truck and an ambulance racing to the event location.

In route the police car is involved in an auto accident. The fire truck and the ambulance continue racing towards the venue. Just inside the parking lot the fire truck in involved in an accident. The ambulance, stuck in the back can't get close to the building. The paramedics take off running with their arms full of their standard kit. They run up ramps, up stairs, down stairs and find the accident scene. Once there they are immediately cussed out for taking too long by some fencer who happened to also be a Doctor. (This fencer was shown the door by the USFA event staff.)

The paramedics do what they can and (presumably) walk her to the ambulance to take her to the hospital. In route to the hospital the ambulance is involved in an automobile accident.

Wait, its not over yet!

The semi truck that hauls the tournament equipment across the US is going up to the loading doc to pick up the trailer. The truck is involved in an accident when it strikes the side of the building. The truck's axle is broken in the crash.

Wait, its still not over yet!

Our very own Kathy Walters, jumps into the the car with one of the USFA event staff. They back into the head armor's truck.

Ok, now its over. The score, one injury and five auto accidents.

The fencer by the way is fine, she had I heard, two surgeries to repair the damage and is expected to make a full recovery and continue fencing.

Posted by at 3:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Baseball having a drug scandle? Why is anyone shocked? How could anyone be shocked?
This is baseball in a nutshell.

You have owners who make scads of money so long as the stadium is filled.
You have players who make scads of money so long as they can fill the stands.
Fans just like to see the ball go over the fence.
Owners want to deliever what the fans like to see.
The players who knock the most balls over the fence are rewarded with even more insane ammounts of money.

I'm not breaking new ground here. Didn't I hear that the plan was to break neighborhood windows with low frequency sound everytime someone hit the ball over the fence here in the minor league land of Greensboro? They called it a cannon shot. Either way, the fans want the ball to go over the fence, so the people can fire the cannon. There is a reward system in place for breaking neighborhood windows. And that's the minor leagues.

So in the Major leagues there is a reward system in place as standard practice for those who can hit the ball over the fence. Every player wants to hit the ball over the fence because every player thinks they don't get paid enough. There's a drug, (actually there's a whole bunch of drugs) that allow you to hit the ball over the fence more often. The player is of course going to do anything they can to hit the ball over the fence, to make the fans happy which makes the owner happy, which makes the player's bank account happy.

I am shocked that congress even needed to get involved. Are there really performance enhancing drugs in professional sports? Of course there are the system requires it, and rewards for it!

I am involved in fencing. Fencing is an amature sport. Our national governing body the USFA. The USFA is: (I will quote from the USFA website)

What is the USFA?

The USFA was incorporated as a non-profit corporation in Pennsylvania in 1964 and in Colorado in 1993 in compliance with the Amateur Sports Act and opened its national office at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, Colo. in August of 1982. Carla-Mae Richards was hired as the USFA's first full-time Executive Director in 1983 and served in that capacity until 1994.

So fencing along with a whole slew of other amature sports all fall under the heading of the United States Olympic Committee. This means that fencing and all of the other sports involved with the olympics are held to the Olympic drug (doping) policy. This policy is so powerful and so complete that there is an organization responsible for the enformcement of it.

The list is huge, and very complete. For the sake of simplicity, they have wallet cards that they pass out. (I have a couple of older ones)

And yes, steriods and hormones are on the list, but so is sudafed, caffine, nicotine, ritalin and the list goes on. It is to the point now that it is easier for them to list what an athlete CAN have as opposed to what they can't have.
You would be shocked. But every drug on the banned list is there for a reason. The idea is that anything an athlete does has to be done without anything enhancing their ability to do it. What gets weird is when certain drugs, often over the counter are banned in one sport and not another. A drug that would give a runner an edge won't effect a shooter one way or the other and the other way around as well.

If you know me, you know that I don't give a wet slap about pro athletics (Ball Sports). This has a lot to do with it.

I heard some Base Ball VP on TV Sunday going on about how great the baseball drug policy was and how it was developed with the approval of the players, the owners and the MLB. Basically this guy came on TV and said, "We all agreed that drugs are good Mmmmkay." Their goal isn't to play a pure and natural sport. Their goal is to get rich. The only way they can get rich is to keep happy fans. The only way they can keep happy fans is to hit the ball over the fence. Professional Baseball is not a sport. Professional Baseball is reality TV when you watch the game on TV, and improvizational theater when you watch it in the stadium.

If you were a real athlete in a real sport you could compete and be successful and adhere to a drug free standard. Anything else is just poor sportsmanship fueled by a system that rewards for bad behavior.

Posted by at 12:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Blame it on having NPR on the Clock Radio again, blame it on the shower or the commute. Either way, I'm solving this whole retirement problem right here, right now.

Social Security was designed to take money from every paycheck you've ever received so that when you lose your job in the months before you retire you will have a small source of income so you can afford canned dog food to eat. It isn't much, but it is guaranteed.

Privatization allows you to take the money that would go for your retirement and allow you to invest in the stock market. Invest well and you will retire with plenty of money, invest poorly and you might have enough to buy dog food to eat. If the stock market crashes you get to retire to the streets.

In high school we were required to take a civics course. At my high school it was a class called Government and Economics. The first half of the class taught us about our government, its history and how it works. The second half taught us economics. I learned about investing in stocks. It works like this. You study, you watch the trends, you get maybe some trusted advice and you invest in a company, if the company wins you win, if the company loses, you lose. The more you know about the company the better your chances of success, but if you know too much because you have help on the inside you go to jail for insider trading.

In college I learned about gambling. In horse racing, and sports betting you study, you watch the trends, you get maybe some trusted advice and you bet on a horse or a team, if the horse or team wins, you win, if the horse or team loses, you lose. The more you know about the horse or the team the better your chances of success, but if you know too much because you have help on the inside you get visited by Guido who breaks your knee caps.

Occasionally in gambling you meet some very nice seeming fellow who gives you a "hot tip" on a horse or a game. He convinces you to bet on a horse or a team and when the horse or team loses you learned that he betted somewhere else and fooled you into betting poorly so his share of the winnings would be larger. You were a sucker.

In investing like in gambling the person who has the most knowledge without going over wins and everyone else either gets occasionally lucky or loses. So who are the people who know the most about investing? Isn't that the same guys who are trying to convince us to give up social security to gamble on the stock market instead? If we listen to the guys who make a bunch of money on the stock market and we risk our retirements, wouldn't that make us Suckers?

Yes, I think it would.

So my solution to the retirement debate is simple don't be a sucker.

This isn't about gambling, its about having a place to sleep, food to eat, and healthcare when you are too old to work and too young to die. These days that is a mightly long time.

Posted by at 10:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Folks around here are getting job offers left and right, some don't even know it yet. New jobs are being posted weekly as well.

Ironically whole categories of jobs aren't being filled because the state doesn't pay anywhere close to the even the bottom average for jobs below Associate Vice Chancellor. It used to be ok because the state had such a terrific bennifits package. That great ship has sunk.

I asked for more money. We'll see what happens.

Posted by at 4:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I do all of my best thinking when I am asleep, in the shower, and driving. I also wake up to NPR on the clock radio. These conditions put fiddlingly small things like the cure for cancer and world peace at my fingertips. ;) This said, I am going to solve the whole "Gay Marriage" fiasco.

In a nutshell it is a role issue and everyone needs to be reminded of their roles.

In order to get married you have to have a marriage liscense. It is a legal document you get from the registrar of deeds office. You fill it out, they put their mark on it. The purpose of the document is to state legally who has the right to your stuff should you die of a disease or get eaten. If you get married in a foreign country the marriage will not be legal in the US without proper legal documentation that is accepted by the US government.

Next step you need an official signature to make it proper. The law states that it can be a justice of the peace, judge, ships captain, etc. It also allows for a liscensed religious leader to do the honors. Thus, even a religious leader must have some sort of legal documentation to be able to do the honors.

On the other side of this running for a time parallel and then crossing at the moment of "official signature" is the religious marriage ceremony that is optional under the law. If you belong to a church you are more or less obligated by your church to get 'er done there. Usually if you are a member of your church in good standing you only have to take a few classes on the sanctity of marriage and not pay an aditional arm and a leg. If you are wanting a ceremony in a church and you are not a member you have to bribe the church for the service. These days it seems only fair, times are hard, and space isn't cheap. But you aren't legally married even then until the legally designated represenitive of the all mighty signs on the dotted line and that gets sent back to the registrar of deeds to be filed.

Church and state are separated except for the brief moment where the optional preacher signs the manditory legal form on the dotted line.

Now the church, should you go that route for a wedding, can make any sort of arbitrary rule they like concerning who they will marry. Some require a bribe for non-members, some in addition require a "fee" for members. Some will require that you use their organist, some will require that you pay extra for their kitchen. Most will require that the bride and groom be of opposing genders. Why not? It's their church and their religious book says something indicating that the almighty might have a problem with Bride and Bride, or Groom and Groom getting together. Overall, the bible (the religious book I am most familiar with) seems to want all sex to further the cause of raising the human population. After all during the hundreds of years when the various books were written there was no such thing as over population. Disease and preditors kept the human population in check.

The law really doesn't care who is legally binding with whom. Its not the laws job to care. The law's job is to have a document that states that person "A" is legally binding with person "B" such that they are sharing equally what is theirs together. A+B=insurance benificaries.

Where all of this uproar over gays getting married came from is that the church forgot that it wasn't the law, and apparently the law has forgotten it isn't beholding to the Pope, the Dali Lama, or Pat Roberson. There is no need for it to. These two separate things have been co-existing very well for a very long time. Oddly enough it seems that whenever there is a war or a revolution in history someone tried to make the two one. This is up to and including the American Revolution. (If our founding fathers were alive today the 700 Club would be attacking them every night on TV for their failure to believe that god has his hands in their everyday lives. Our founding father's remember were deist.)

So to solve the whole gay marriage thing is easy. If you want a church wedding and the church doesn't like the happy couple's plumbing, the happy couple must go find a church that doesn't mind, or more simply, skip the church, get a justice of the peace and rent a hotel ballroom for the reception. It is after all the church's right to refuse service to anyone. But they don't have nor should they have a monoply on the legal documentation.

You're welcome, now go in peace.

Posted by at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Umm...wadijusay???

"Kaffee Hag: HERZHAFT Kräftig"

Hag brand coffee from Kraft: Strong Decafinated.

I said I was going to get to the bottom of this mystery and review this coffee. I have done half of this and that's as far as I feel comfortable going.

I have worked hard to be a coffee snob and I am pretty sure they would chip the handle off of my coffee snob cup if I put decafinated coffee to my lips knowingly. Thus in my search for knowledge about this gift of German coffee from Stacy, I have managed to find myself in a position where I can't actually drink it. Hey, what can I say, a man needs rules to live by. Who knew I would find myself up against the "Death before decaf" rule. Knowledge is power.

According to my reading the coffee was producted by Hag, a West German company started by Ludwig Roselius who invented the Decafination process in the early 1800's.

Fortunately for the coffee and I, I know of someone who doesn't have the "death before decaf" rule in his personal book. Plus he will like it strong. And maybe I can even shame him into posting a review about it.

Paging Mr. Bourne...

Posted by at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Or Coffee for your english speaking types like myself. Actually, I am just assuming that Kaffee equals Coffee. It might mean "Ant's unmentionables" for all I know.

Anyway, I dear friend of mine sent from Germany a care package of some Eilles Santos de Brasileiro, which I have decited means "Eilles brand coffee of the Brazillian variety". Ignorance really is bliss.

Funny I should mention bliss. For this is good coffee. Why shouldn't it be, its Brazillian (or at least I think it is) and there is very little from Brazil that isn't good. Personaly I can only think of one Brazillian thing I don't like and I'm not going to talk about that here.

So many coffees, even good ones have a taste that fits on a narrow band. Comparing it to something like sound or light we would compare your typical coffee to a beam of warm yellow light. This stuff is more like a little rainbow of coffee goodness.

Some people liken this to burnt cookie flavored coffee, but I would not be one of those people. I like this, and I would buy it.

Next up: A cardboard box of Kraft coffee. Also German. I have two fears that I won't immediately know. Fear 1. This is decaf. Fear 2. This is instant. My review and mysterys solved as soon as I finish the box. Coffee in a cardboard box....weird....

Posted by at 8:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My parents moved to Newport North Carolina in 1964 and eventually I was born and raised there. Until I left for college Newport was pretty unchanged. One stop light, two diners, one K-8 school. Since I left they have added two more stop lights, a Food Lion, a Bojangles, a river kyaking business, and a whole other school. Now, they have a little news paper and I am thrilled that my mother sent me a copy!

Its not much of course, the issue I got was Vol 1, number 5, and Newport will always be a small town near the beach. What I loved was seeing pictures and reading about people who were there when I was and are still doing what they always did. Its comforting to know that the town librarian I grew up with is still the town librarian. Our library started out in the same building as our firestation and town hall. Now our library, town hall, and firestation are three separate buildings all filled to capacity.

The other thing that Newport has is the Pig Cooking Contest. The first one was in 1976. My entire childhood, my father always competed in it, sponsored by whichever company owned the shirt factory at the time. Eventually he stopped competing, and I stopped going. For me it wasn't that I had lost interest so much as I was in college fencing and NC Division II qualifiers always falls on the same weekend. This year our club is hosting Divisionals so once again I won't make it. I still have my memories though.

And now I have a newspaper that can take me back there.

Posted by at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (1)

Bloging History repeats itself. I have spent a great deal of time watching and thinking about this. We've Been Here Before. I heard it all in history, and english class. With the invention of the printing press ordinary citizens could have a greater voice. They created flyers and pamplets, they spoke out for what they believed in and against what they dispised. They attacked the government, society, politicians, the church, and personal enemies, nothing was spared from the newfound ability to get their message out. We remember their names Martin Luthor, Thomas Payne, and Jonathan Swift. The establishment hated and feared them. The establishment went after them. The establishment tried to stop them. Ultimately these print bloggers (ploggers?) changed the world. If you don't think so, then why do we still read their work in school?

So here we are again 2005. Apple sues bloggers over leaked information...BBC: "Bloggers. Truth-tellers or vigilantes? Trophy-hunters or watchdogs?"...Iranian blogger jailed for using his blog ot criticise the arrest of other online journalist..."...blogs do provide a potential end run around the traditional "gatekeeper" role of professional journalists"

Sued, jailed, attacked by the establishment, the cycle continues. Times were scary back in the day, might made right and freedom was just another word for "nothing left to lose" (sorry). Times are scary now, "freedom" is being taken from us replaced with something we are being told is "security". Secure from who?

But there too many of us to stop, though they will try anyway. And people and groups have banded together to aid the oppressed blogger like The Bloggers' Rights Blog, and the Committee to Protect Bloggers. These guys are keeping a running list of bloggers being attacked for speaking out for what they believe in and against what they dispise.

You might say I am being paranoid and alarmist, you might even be right, but I feel that things are going to get worse before they get better. What is now simply a blog nailed to the internet wall is one day going to be a revolution of some kind. It is my hope that I see you all on the other side of all of this free and safe.

Posted by at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I try once a year to revamp the Greensboro Fencing website. Typically I would use pico or notepad to work in but this time around I decited to use one of my favorite planning tools Mind Manager X5 Pro to create the site.

All I had to do was plan out what information I wanted on the webpage, organize it the way I wanted, insert a picture here, a link there, the whole time working with the data visually. Once I was happy with the content and the organization, I clicked "export as html" and it spit the pages out in just seconds. Very cool. It offers five different web templates depending on how you plan to use the data and how much data you have.

Pretty slick appliaction. I found it early in my project management life as a way to generate work breakdown structures with out having to use M$ Project. The beauty of the product is if the next guy to use my data doesn't have Mind Manager I can spit the document out as a Project file, Word file, Excel file, or pretty much whatever. Plus it makes us look really good when we use it to teach classes or give presentations.

Whoops. All I wanted to do was talk about the new fencing webpage but I ended up being sidetracked by the application.

My name is Woody, I teach fencing, I am a geek.

Posted by at 5:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Roomba is good.
No, Roomba is better than good. Roomba is the greatest thing ever and then some. Roomba only wants two things.
1. Roomba wants to vaccuum your floor.
2. Roomba wants you to pick up behind yourself.

Roomba made us realize that for the past five years of our marriage we were nothing more than a pair of bachlor college students. If there had been delievery food available to us, there would be delievery food boxes all mixed with the clutter of papers, magazines, empty cans, and other assorted trash. But Roomba saved us from all of that. Roomba in one week turned us into a pair of married responsible adults capable of having a house and raising a family. Thank you Roomba!

I told my parents about Roomba. My father is retired, and my mother is close. I told them about how amazingly amazing Roomba was. The next day the bought a Roomba and now one week later they know and understand the joy and possibility that Roomba has brought into our home and our lives.
Thank you Roomba!

If you do not have a Roomba yet. Get a Roomba. Once you get a Roomba you will know that I am not exagerating. Of the great inventions of the household, electricity, running water, toilots, the telephone, the stove, the refrigerator, the dishwasher, you can now add Roomba to this list.
Thank you Roomba!

Posted by at 12:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So Saturday we cruise down to Charlotte for a Regional Youth Circuit Event. The competitors run in ages from 8-14. Typically these events draw about a hundred kids with a parent or two each, possibly some siblings, occasionally some extended family and for the group usually a coach. An RYC involves a BUNCH of people so they require very large spaces you would want at least six strips for the fencing and that much space again for the hords of parents, video cameras and support staff. 12 hours before the start of this event an email goes out that says that the space for the RYC fell through and they are having to move the event to a local fencing club. So the email said three things:
1. The organizer of the event didn't do a good job.
2. The new space is going to be way to small.
3. Many families won't come, those that do come will:
a. Get to the wrong space and never find the right space
b. Get to the wrong space, but manage to find the right space angry.
c. Manage to get the email in time but arrive angry.

So we showed up to a double garage in an industrial park which is where the event was held. It was a terrific place to have a club, a single coach could teach a class of eight to ten with no problems at all. This is NOT a place you can have a tournament of any size. The RYC would count in this. But everyone there recognized that poor planning was to blame and those that stayed put their best foot forward in a really positive way. Even when to my complete bewilderment the organizer who dropped the ball announced that the event was a complete perfect success and he would try to host another one in a space the same size next year. The organizer is obviously out of his mind.

But enough complaning. (Though it had to be done.) On Saturday we had three coaches and fielded seven fencers in eleven events. At the end of the day we brought home eleven medals. Who could ask for anything more! :) Sunday we were slated to have three fencers and one coach. I fully expect to hear later this morning that we brought home three additional medals. Our kids rock. I would say more but it wouldn't be proper to talk about my students in too much detail here, plus I think the design of the Greensboro Fencing .com website website is getting stale. I am inspired to webdesign.

Posted by at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I was startled to see today that the center of Center City Park was a giant hole filled with construction equipment. I have no idea why I am surprised, with all of my years on UNCG's campus I thought I had grown used to people randomly digging up a bush to plant a bush. It seems to go on daily on campus. I just wasn't expecting it downtown, in the middle of a grassy field, in the middle of a park.

So now that I have put the giant hole in perspective I have to wonder what they needed to dig down 20+ feet to find. Someone's wallet? Perhaps Jimmy Hoffa has been found, or at the very least some Greensboro politician (you pick) found their integrity finally. Of course rather than finding something something may be getting "lost" forever. Maybe someone's self-respect is being put to rest. If so I hope there is a stone or statue to honor it. There just isn't enough honoring of self-respect in today's politics.

Oh! It just hit me! The department of homeland security is probably looking for weapons of mass destruction. Everyone knows how clever Sadam was, the cheeky monkey probably hid the weapons in the basement of the building that used to stand where the park is now.

In other news I had my second interview yesterday. Huh, maybe my job is being burried in that hole.

Posted by at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The bloated beast that is New York rears its ugly head to attack a NC clothing designer for what it feels is some sort of copywright infringement. Here's the story. And here's my rant on this. Did I say rant? I meant opinion. Really I did.

The rotten apple's stance on this is that if anyone uses the letter "I" a heart and anything else they are infringing on their copywright. Sorry mob lawyers, it doesn't work like that. Our hero in this story recognized that he didn't want any trouble, just a marketable t-shirt. He changed the font, he changed all the colors, and he changed what the other noun was. So while the message has the same subject and verb the predicate is different, thus the three word sentence has a different meaning.

I think New York has bigger problems than a t-shirt designer in the Old North State. And if they feel like they have solved all of the borough's problems and they can go after a small time t-shirt designer who works as a bank teller maybe they should go after the christians. I'm not kidding. Send in the corproate lions!

Go to a christian bookstore that has clothing in it if you haven't lately. They have McJesus (Billions and Billians Saved), I [heart] Jesus, and Jesus "Just Do It". They have the Nike swoosh, the golden arch, and every corprate logo you can think of. They stole everything wholesale they didn't change color or font. The only thing they did was stick something christian in there. They even stole the WWJD thing for all sorts of accesseries. We Want Jack Daniels for heaven's sake you can't take that from us! Ok, I admit it, that was a joke and I had to make it. WWJD is as best as I can tell the first and only origional thing the christian marketers have ever come up with. They even stole the bible from other religions. I'm not complaining about their copywright infringement though, I think it is clever marketing. New York, McDonalds, and all of the other megacorps probably should though. I mean if you're going to go after the little guy, why would you not go after The Big Guy?

Posted by at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night over dinner a friend of mine who had read yesterday's tirade about the secret thought police arresting a teen had a problem with it. She was concerned that I thought that every time a child put pen, pencil, or crayon, to paper with words of murder and killing that I wasn't allowing for the possibility that they were writing a plan and not a story. Fair enough, I didn't go into any detail at all about the times where the kid actually does write a battle plan to slaughter at home or in school. Yes it happens, rarely, but it happens. All I am asking is to quietly investigate whenever you think the kid has an attack plan and only arrest those kids who ARE planning to go on a killing spree. Putting every kid in handcuffs on the six oclock news who has a dark thought doesn't do anything but drive more normal well adjusted kids over that thin line. Some kids will go terminator because you are an adult behaving like an ass. Some kids will kill simply because they will finally get the attention they diserve if they do. Other kids, you know the ones, the quiet types who grow up to become famous seriel killers. They will be driven deeper underground where instead of getting help early will be developed into thoughtful killing machines. I gotta to tell you people, I am not sure I would have turned out as well as I have if I grew up in the climate of fear that the powers that be have created for us.

Speaking of the climate of fear that the powers that be have created for us, I have another interesting story to share. This is an article about a teacher behaving inappropriately in a high school. The good news that a student caught the over the top antics on a camera phone. Now everyone can see for themselves just how badly this supposed teacher of the fertile mind is behaving. The bad news is: (choose one)
a.) Nothing is publically and/or privately done to repremand the teacher at all.
b.) A rule is created so students can't have wireless phones in their classrooms anymore.
c.) The student is suspended
d.) All of the above.

If you guessed "d" you would be correct! And what a plan it is! Of course what could we expect from the town of Brick, other than blockhead behavior. The Board of Education behaving like true modern day Repugnicants by punishing the whistle blower, making sure that that avenue of proof can never be followed again, and covering up/rewarding bad behavior.

Now it wouldn't be an incensed blog entry if I didn't name names so the guilty can google themselves and threaten me so here goes. "Stuart Mantel", "Jay", "Ron Rice", "Jennifer Strano", "Thomas L. Seidenberger". For the sake of pure and simple fairness on my part I won't say which names are on the protagonist side, and which names are on the antagonist side. But be sure both sides are represented.

Posted by at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I was going to write about Roch Smith Jr's blog about a show on public access TV that recommended killing all homosexuals. While I am against the killing of all of anything, I have to defend the right of the wack job to say rediculous things on public access TV. Were it not for public access how would we ever find out about nut case groups like NAMBLA, The Holy Conception Unit, and The Greensboro Grasshoppers? Ewww...Ball sports! My opinion is its better to shine the flashlight on the cockroaches than pretend the infestation doesn't exist. Knowledge, forwarning, there's a famous quote out there with those two words in it but it escapes me right now.

However that has been preempted by something similar but worse.
This was brought to my attention this morning. It is just one more in a growing list of news article where a kid's imagination makes him a terrorist. I am so enraged by this for a very simple reason. When I was a small child in the early years of elementary school they hadn't quite figured out that I was dyslexic yet. What they knew was that I was frustrated often and subject to bouts of violent mindless rage. I was taught to deal with the frustration of being intelligent and yet still unable to read or create letters with any success at all. I was taught to deal with it by sitting down, focusing my anger into words on paper. The words might not be ledgable to anyone including me but the rage went somewhere safe. When I finished writing what I felt, I simply and symbolically, tore the page or pages up, balled them up real tight and threw them in the trash. This worked wonders. No more anger, no more rage, no more tantrums leading to spankings leading to more rage tantrums and spankings. The circle was broken and I could then focus on the real problem of translating everything I saw into english so I could read it. One day children who were being children thought they could torment me further by secretly removing one of my tyrades from the trash carefully flatting it out, reassembling it, and taping it back together turning in their handywork into my teacher. My teacher was an idiot, and even then I understood the importance of forgiving idiots for their idiocy. My parents were called in for another important conference. The principal might have even been involved but quickly it was determined that I had not done anything wrong, the teacher was an idiot, and certain children needed to be taught not to play in the trash can. I am pretty sure that the reason I blog has a great deal to do with the lessons of my childhood.

Flash back over. Today I am as mad as hell. More and more I am seeing normal well adjusted children being hauled away in handcuffs for being terrorist on account of words on paper. How did that rhyme go? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. The worst part is they aren't even reading what is being written and why. They just see a word here or a sentence there and decide that the child is a danger to free, Bush loving Americans everywhere. Danger my ass. The real danger is the child who never expresses themselves. The child who keeps everything, love, hate, rage, curiosity and imagination bottled up. The bottle always breaks. And you know what happens when the bottle breaks? When the bottle breaks you get to see a smiling happy reporter interviewing a shocked citizen who always says, "...seemed like such a nice person. I never dreamed they could do something so horrible." How many times have you heard that said to the smug reporter? I suppose it hasn't occured to anyone yet why you hear that so often. If it had school kids wouldn't be hauled off in handcuffs for short fiction. The worst part of this is I know that for every kid hauled off in handcuffs someone somewhere is smiling about it.

If you still think that these kids are being hauled off for good reason, If you still think that people should be locked up as terrorist for thoughts and words, then I feel it is my duty as a citizen to report others for the exact same offence. The first is a man named James Patterson. James Patterson writes about seriel killings boldly and publically. He's a seriel killer go get him and lock him up and throw away the key because you are not safe. If you don't lock James Patterson up then James Patterson is going to come to your house kill you and all your loved ones. While you are at it, send a swat team to the home of the terrorist named Tom Clancy. Tom Clancy writes plots about killing the president and other horrendous acts of terrorism against these United States. If you don't arrest him right this minute you are aiding terrorism and need to be arrested too. I am a good and patrotic citizen of this great nation and I am doing my duty by reporting everyone who would even so much as write about doing America wrong.

Posted by at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)