Woody Cavenaugh

The Carolina Cardinals Professional women's football has hit the Triad and I can't tell you how happy I am because of this. Yes, for those that know me, this is probably a shock, how could I of all people be excited about a ball sport? Ball sports are by their very nature the very definition of all that I stand against (except the Idiot Monkey part)! Yet here I am doing my small part to get the word out about the New Cool, in the Greensboro area.

It is because, I happened to be married to a member of the team. People often think I am joking when I say that one of Sara's major draws for me is the fact that she can get my back in a bar fight. My dating history short and spotted though it is had more women interested in putting a dagger in my back in a bar fight. A rare few would have made sure that I wasn't in the bar to start with, but those relationships had other interesting problems. Sara was the first woman I ever dated whom I could trust to get my back in a bad physical situation. I admit also, it was a rocky start, Sara didn't like it one bit that I could defeat her arm wrestling, but she got over it, and we're both better for it. The joke of the original statement is of course that I am seldom seen in bars, and when I am, have never been involved in a fight.

So for those (like me) keeping score, Sara's got an undergrad degree in theater education, a masters degree in film and video production with an emphasis on screenwriting. She is a university project manager whose hobbies include, participating in the 48 Hour Film Project, video games, guitar, and now pro football. Dr. Banzai himself would gladly have her intern at the institute...assuming of course she can discover the key to the mysterious 8th day of the week, giving her time to participate.

Now, I suppose she ought to have some sort of cool nickname fitting her new second career. So far the two I have thought of that I like the best are "Crazy Train", and "Professor Pain". Crazy Train will run you down and whilstle while doing it. Professor Pain's battle cry could be "One Thousand Years of Pain!!!!!" If anyone else has an idea I would love to hear it.

For those ladies interested in giving full contact football a try, there is a tryout scheduled for:
February 18, 2006
Oka . T Hester Park
3615 Deutzla Street
Greensboro, NC 27407
There is a form to fill out and here it is.

The Schedule isn't carved in stone yet, but once it is I will let you know. Those readers from out of State might be in luck as some of the away games are in Atlanta, Boston, and places farther north.

Posted by at 8:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Take it for what it is worth, but I can't help but notice with things the way they have been locally, police scandals, free speach "zones" on campus, redistricting, voting irregularities, none of this "censored news" really sounds like news anymore.

Very interesting reading, some of it you have probably heard, some you might not have, none of it will surprise you.

Still not amused.

Posted by at 6:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

ABC News has the story, so does Reuters.
The FARK headline read:"Then: "Congress is preparing an investigation, and I will work with members of both parties to make sure this effort is thorough." Now: White House resists Katrina probe"

Will someone tell the idiot monkey in charge that you can't simply opt out. Congressional investigations are funny like that. If congress came to me and asked me about something, I couldn't just say, "I'll tell you a little, but I am not giving certain information to you." They frown on that. Infact, they would without question lock my butt up. Unless of course they subpoena me, and then I plead the fifth, that's legal and good. Yet, the damned dirty ape can sit back and say, "This information is off limits to you." What? Is this part of something larger? Is Katrina the work of the nefarious Osama Bin Ladin? Well in that case, by all means keep that a national secret. NOT. What, do you think we are stupid? If so, please let us know. One would think someone in the white house would be there familiar enough with the rule book to quickly whisper into the appropriate ear, "We can't do that." Did they fire that guy or something?

Separation of powers people, that's all I'm talking about. Don't think I have forgotten the other presidents that have done this, the difference is now I am blogging about it, and the idiot monkey is the biggest offender right now. Again, don't get me wrong, its a great racket. You get made president, you do everything during your administration possible to get as many of your closest and dearest rich beyond their wildest dreams, and you retire after 4 or 8 years to write a book (or in some cases, maybe to learn to read). Meanwhile everyman is getting slowly ground into paste under the boots of "The Man". Maybe he could get someone to write a book for him about that, "How to Succeed in Business Through Politics". I guarantee it would be a best seller.

The way things have been looking lately Chapter One would be titled, "Don't let them fool you, President = King of the world".

Posted by at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I can't be a fountain of truth and wisdom every day. (Plus I was looking for this for my more enlightened fencers.)

My pirate name is:

Dirty Roger Kidd

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Posted by at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Last week one of my friends was telling Sara and I about walking though the Eliot University Center on UNCG's campus, and passing a small group of girls who were waiting for a male friend down the hall. When the male friend realized they were waiting for him, he exclaims in a very loud and flamboyant way (emphasis on flame), "I'm the most popular girl in school!". The reason the story got brought up was because universities seem to always have certain social archtypes to fill, and this guy was clearly doing his duty to fill his niche.

Flash forward to last night's American Idol Greensboro. I am not a regular watcher, but since it was in Greensboro, I got interested and thought it was definitely worth a look. At one point a guy comes on to audition and he was flamboyant to the extreme, (emphasis on flame). He announced that he was from UNCG and he was the next American Idol. Sara and I looked at each other and agreed that it would be hysterical if it was the same guy from the previous weeks story. It turns out that it WAS the same guy. As he's doing his shtick working up to the point where he actually starts to sing, there was maybe three or four references to him being a UNCG student. I kept having this mental picture of UNCG administration dying just a little inside while they kept chanting the mantra "Any publicity is good publicity.". On the positive side, even though the guy didn't make it to holywood, it was clear he had a lot of fun hamming it up for the camera, so it wasn't all a loss.

There was a girl who came out in something that turned out to be lingerie, it was the kind of outfit that someone who was already a star could get away with wearing because the tabloids love that stuff. For someone who wasn't a star it looked ridiculous. I think she had real promise as a singer, but her chances were hurt by her outfit. I hope she trys again next year and wears something more mainstream. I'll bet she makes it.

There was a guy who came on and the minute he opened his mouth, I knew he was from Carteret County. There is an accent that only exist in a few island communities of Carteret County. This guy had that accent. Sure enough, when they put up his name and hometown, it was Salter Path. He did my birth area proud. Not only for being there and doing it, but for making it.

There was one guy, I think the last one they showed, he came in wearing his father's fireman uniform. I have this theory that I will call "Klinger's Syndrome". In the TV show MASH, Maxwell Klinger dressed in women's clothing in order to be sent home. In Klinger's Syndrome, the sufferer dresses in some insane way in order to be sent somewhere they want to go. In this case, Holywood. Hey, its either that or they are simply attention whores. In this guy's case, I don't think it was attention whoring though. He didn't have any of the other symptoms like loudness, obnixousness, flamboyance, etc. I felt bad for him because I knew the outfit was really hurting his chances of getting sent to Holywood. It did too. Fortunately for all of us he was so darned good, that he managed to squeek by on his voice alone. Had he been in street cloths, he would've been accepted immediately.

I couldn't talk about the show without mentioning this one last person. She was a character on the level of William Hung and they worked her into every teaser before every commercial break for the whole two hours. You know, I don't actually know where to start. I took a half page of notes on her. Should I start with the top, the bottom, the attitude, or the string of expletives? The first comment Sara had on her was the moment she show her doing a high kick in her mini-skirt. (one that required an "American Idol" logo to be placed strategically so the show wouldn't break any decency laws.) "Her coochie scares me." Actually, it scared me pretty badly too. When I asked Sara if I could quote her on that, she replied as if in a trance, "The power of christ compels you". It wasn't the last time Sara said that last night either. You know, even today I refuse to mention the contestant's name for fear I might somehow invoke her.

New Rule: If you are wearing a mini skirt you may NOT do high kicks. The exception to this rule is if you are on the Jerry Springer show, then it is required.

Next comes the sequined tube top. There are remarkably few women who can pull off wearing a tube top. I think that reason alone is why I love tube tops so much. One of my favorite bands, Reel Big Fish has a song called "Ban The Tubetop". Clearly these guys understand what I am talking about here.
On the 10pm news Mayor Holiday has a sound bite where he talks about how good the publicity of American Idol will be for the city. Clearly this was recorded before the show aired. Ok, in his defence, we can always fall back on the old adage, "Any publicity is good publicity." Getting back on a topic I so dearly love, the tube top. This woman could be a wikipedia entry on the tube top and the dangers therein.

As if to add insult to injury she not only wears exactly the wrong thing, she can't say a sentence without cursing in it. She was bleeped so much it sounded like a test of the emergency broadcast system. She might be good for TV ratings, but she was bad for humanity. After reading the Viewfinder BLUES blog about working the event, all I could imagine is poor Lenslinger pulling hazard duty as this woman rampaged around the place adding hours to the editor's work, as they had to bleep this, and cover that up.

I believe that there may be an American Idol subculture forming. While the mainstream Idol auditioners are really trying to sing their way to stardom, for this sub group, their goal is simply to be seen on TV. So much so that they will leave self respect and good taste behind. I am also the first to admit that "good taste" is in the opinion of the beholder. Technically, I suppose this subculture has a place on the show. The attention whores get you to start watching, the talent of the singers is what keeps you watching. If the ratings start to slip they can always bring back an attention whore for a segment. Who knows Tube Top just might raise Attention Whore to the level of a profession. Or did professional wrestling alreay do that?

All in all, of the cast of thousands that auditioned either 9 or 11 made it. Those they showed were really very good. I have not idea how that compares to other cities, but I hope in the end it was worth it. I came away kind of thinking "Wow, I gotta remember to stay away from that Greensboro place....oh wait."

Posted by at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

If the allegation is true it is not only going to be the subject of a lot more bad outsourcing jokes, but a smoking gun showing the world to what lengths our government will go to to circumvent its own laws.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am getting tired of constantly being told that we don't know what is good for us. I will be the first to admit that the elected president is some pretty strong evidence that we really don't know what is good for us. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) we have seen so much evidence lately of breaking, rewriting, or circumventing the law, who knows, we might not have voted our estemed leader into office. Could be someone thought they knew better than the rest of us what is good for us and relieved us of the burdon of choosing a president.

If the news is wrong and torture isn't being outsourced, then who is snatching people from the streets of the world and torturing them? Terrorist? Pat Roberson? The Teletubbies? I don't know about you but I wouldn't mind getting the truth once in a while. On the first try. Even if it was a horrible truth, it would be true, and that's about the best starting place I can think of.

Posted by at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you have ever really paid attention to coaches strip side, they all have a short list of phrases they use as code words to inspire their fencers to win the next touch. One of the universal ones usually goes something like this, Do something else." I believe the reason that it is a universal coaching phrase, is that we are coaching humans, or at the very least mostly human. People tend to have tendencies. There are things people just do, we call them habits, and they are a part of us that can be used against us. Coaches always try to make their fencers aware of these habits in the hopes that the fencer will realize their habits and use them tactically rather than habitually. The reason so many coaches are still shouting "Do something else!" strip side indicates just how hard this very simple concept is to put into practice.

What comes below is what we hope and wish is going on in the minds of our fencers. For the sake of a good long winded explenation, I will use a 15 touch direct elimination bout as an example.

Referee: "Salute, Mask, Enguard."
Fencer: I am going to attack. The fencer does so successfully. The score is now 1-0.
Fencer: That worked, I'm going to do it again. The fencer does it again, and it works. The score is now 2-0
Fencer: I am going to attack again. The fencer is parried, their opponent's repost scores. The score is now 2-1.
Fencer: That doesn't work anymore. They are expecting an attack so I will feint deceive. The fencer feints to the same line they were attacking in. Their opponent falls for it and attempts a parry, the fencer disengages and scores. The score is now 3-1.
Fencer: They fell for the feint, I will do it again. The feint works a second time. The score is now 4-1.
Fencer: It worked, again, so I am going to do it again. This time the feint doesn't work, your fencer deceives anyway (They have at best an E rating) and is parried. The opponent's repost scores. the score is now 4-2.
Fencer: That didn't work. Both times my opponent reposted they went to the same place. I will use second intention and counter-repost them.. They feint deceive knowing that their opponent will parry and repost, they parry this and counter-repost. The score is now 5-2. If this had been a pool bout, it would be a very respectible win.
Fencer: That worked, and I will do it again. It works like a charm. So they keep it up and when the score reaches 8-2, it is time for the one minute break, and each coach has 60 seconds to impart as much wisdom as their fencer can hold. Since my fencer is winning, I will just tell them how well they are doing, and make sure they get plenty of water to drink. The other coach has a much harder row to hoe.

Break time over.
Salute! Mask! Enguard!
Fencer: I am going to do that counter-repost thing again. They start with the feint, and their opponent completely ignores it and counter attacks. The fencer is stunned. The opposing coach just smiles. Someone has been paying attention. The score is now 8-3.
Fencer: This time I will feint. Maybe they think they are actually doing something different, maybe not. The end result is the opponent scores again with the counter attack. The score is now 8-4. The fencer's coach will probably choose now to shout out, "Do something else!".

Fencer: I will attack! The fencer attacks, their opponent counter-attacks. The score is now 9-4.
Fencer:I will attack again! As soon as the referee says "Fence!", the opponent explodes with an attack that catches your fencer completely off guard. The score is now 9-5. It is still anyone's game.
Fencer:Parry! Parry! Parry! The referee calls, "Fence!" and the opponent makes another explosive attack, your fencer parries and repost for the score. 10-5. The fencer is getting the momentium back.
Fencer:Repost is working, so I will keep it up. The opponent attacks, the fencer parries and repost, the opponent parries this, and counter-repost. The score is now 10-6.
Fencer:They knew where my repost was going, I will have to change lines.The opponent attacks, the fencer parries begins the repost in the same line and disengages the opponent's attempted parry to lands the point. The score is now 11-6.
Fencer:That worked! The same thing happens again, and the fencer scores by deceiving the parry. The score is now 12-6. It is time for the other coach to shout, "Try something else!"
Fencer: It is still working. The opponent attacks, the fencer attempts to parry but there was nothing there they fell for a feint. They are hit before they even realize it. The score is now 12-7.
Fencer:Well played.... The referee calls "Fence!" and the fencer makes an explosive attack, their opponent hoped the feint would work again, but being ignored, they are hit by the counter-attack before their deceive lands. The fencer scores another touch, the score is now 13-7.
Fencer:I have you now! The referee calls "Fence!" The opponent doesn't feint this time, and the fencer counter-attacks into it. The score is now 13-8.
Fencer:My opponent is getting smarter, but I can still win this. On "Fence!" The opponent reaches out their blade, it might be a feint, it might be a real attack, it doesn't matter the fencer reaches out beats the blade and scores a clean touch. 14-8.
Fencer:Just one more touch! I will beat the blade again. The opponent, reaches out the fencer goes for the beat, but the opponent disengages the beat. The fencer's blade is nowhere helpful and the opponent gets an easy touch. 14-9.
Fencer:Just one more touch. I can do it. The opponent extends, the fencer reaches out and seems to execute the beat again. The opponent disengages it and lunges, only to find that rather than beat, the fencer has executed a circle parry catching the opponent's blade, and using opposition rides the opponent's blade all the way to target. Touch, and bout. Final score 15-9.

They salute the referee, each other and the crowd, they then shake hands, using their off-weapon hand and return to the ends of the strip where they unhook from the reels. The fencer moves ahead, the opponent goes home. The opponent's coach knows it had more to do with experience than skill, and tells their fencer, "This was a good bout, next time, I'll bet you beat them." They just might too.

Doing something else is a difficult concept to train. We teach it through drill cycles that build on one another, as we teach the tactical wheel. (The Tactical Wheel is the name for the fencing theory behind the concept of "Do something else") Those coaches who pull it off find themselves running very high level programs with a nice number of fencers in the top 50 points standings in the nation. For the rest of us, the secret to this refining fire seems to be to keep banging the rocks together. Sooner or later we create a spark.

Posted by at 8:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

All too often we hear on the news about children who perhaps aren't fitting in socially. They get picked on and bullied by the cool kids maybe for years, and one day they just snap. We never hear their story until the six O'clock news on the day they decided they weren't going to take it anymore. France has long been that picked on kid, apparently they have decided they aren't going to take it anymore.

Jacques Chirac has cast asside his silly beret, hitched up his big boy pants, and in his best John Wayne voice announced that they would drop THE bomb on any country that harbors terrorist who attack France.

We probably want to work with our children and picked on countries to develop skills where they can difuse these situations early before they escalate to this level. If my child ends up being the picked on one in school, I will teach them very early to break the nose of the bully, striking so hard and so fast that the bully will never bother them again. My child will get suspended for a little while, but at least they aren't going to go on a shooting rampage years later when they finally decided enough is enough.

Posted by at 9:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It has been a good time for fencing lately. Last night we learned that one of the other other clubs in the city, (we think it may have been Delta H at the Glenwood recreation center) was on one of the local news affiliates that morning. We learned this as we were getting Katie Reetz of the News and Record ready for her first experience with Saber. Check out January 30th's N&R Life section to find out first hand what it is like to start fencing for the first time.

Posted by at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am hearing this morning that the people of Oregon voted in favor of assisted suicide. Bush had a different idea, he said in so many words, "I don't care what the majority of Oregon people want, I say "no" and that's final." Fortunately, the Supreme Court still remembers that this is a democracy and the majority rule. I am shocked and appalled at how much of what goes on in our government every day would make the founding fathers spin in their graves. I sometimes wonder that if they were alive today would they try to repair what was broken, or lead us in revolution. I personally hope they would try to fix what was broken, but it is hard to know the hearts and minds of the undead.
News article here.

I always found it funny that people have a lot less trouble with killing someone, than letting someone kill themselves. Most states allow capital punishment, but to my knowledge only one or two allow assisted suicide, and only Oregon has a law allowing it outright.

I believe it probably comes down to power. People want power over other people, governments want power over people, people and governments ultimately don't like it when other strange people can choose for themselves. I can do whatever I want, paint my house pink with green polka-dots for instance, but if YOU do it, I'm going homeowners association all over your weird butt.

We can't of course talk about right to die without bring up religion. I am no expert here, but from what I remember from bible school, the King James was pretty consistent about suicide. I seem to remember the New Testimate being pretty consistent about killing, but I recall that the Old Testimate couldn't seem to make up its mind on the subject. Yes, I said it. The Almighty was a flipflopper on the death penalty. The very first one in fact, so I guess that means it is ok to change your mind. Take that Senate Judiciary Committee!

Myself I am pretty ambiguous on all life taking debates (right to die, capital punishment, and abortion). Is it really my right to tell someone else what they can and cannot do with their own life? I think that if I had the 100% legal choice over whether or not I could take my own life the fact that I chose not to end it would count for more when I am judged. Choice is power. Is that what scares you so much? I tend to think that I would support capital punishment if we were sure, not just legally satisfied that someone is guilty of the crime. Thus, I am very much for doing any DNA testing possible on all death row inmates. If you are responsible for sending an innocent man to death row how do you figure that is going to look on your eternal record at the pearly gates? I smell brimstone? Do you smell brimstone? Finally, abortion this one is the trickiest of all because we can't even agree on when someone is a living human being, without that we really can't go any further. Although there is some promising research with bunny eggs out there that may make the argument moot. Nobody cares when a rabbit is a living rabbit being. Well, nobody worth mentioning anyway....

late edit: Please check out this article from Brenda Bowers on the subject of "right to die". (Thanks for getting me the link Brenda!)

Posted by at 10:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Radical Evolution by Joel Garreau, I just have to say that if I intended to only read two books in 2006, I am glad this was one of them.

In a nutshell the book explores three very different technological senerios for the near future all based on the concept of The Curve. The Curve is summed up nicely by Moore's law, processing power doubles every 18 months. The Curve is an expansion on this to say that the sum of all technology doubles at a constant and accelerating rate. From The Curve, three senerios emerge Heaven, Hell, and Prevail.

The Heaven Senerio championed by Ray Kurzweil (a personal hero of mine in the class of Benjamin Franklin, or Thomas Edison) is the idea that technology is inherently good and through it the first human to live to be 150 is already alive today. In the Heaven Senerio, immortality and true artifical intelligence is just around the corner. The Curve is quickly going up to the point of singularity a point where the persuits of men will turn solely towards learning and these amazing technologies that make us better, stronger, faster, and smarter will have reached everyone.

The Hell Senerio championed (if that is the right word) by BIll Joy is the idea that far far too often science happens more by "oops" than by "eurika!" and the big boo boo that destroys all life as we know it is just one oops away. If by some miracle we manage to create technologies that make us better, stronger, faster, and smarter first it will create three classes of man, the haves, the have nots and the choose not toos. The haves are the rich folks who can afford the tech and will be first on board when the tech arrives. The choose not toos are those who turn against the technology and want to remain pure of flesh, the have nots are the rest of us who will never be able to afford the technology to get ahead. He believes that one day the rich will tollerate those who choose to remain pure as quaint, those that want the tech but can't afford it will be seen as subhuman.

The Prevail Senerio suggested by Jaron Lanier believes that The Curve isn't a constant. It suffers from fits, starts, and reversals just like the humans that gave rise to it. It is his belief that technology will improve, people will live longer, horrible diseases will be created in labs and released, ipods will cause deffness, the industrial revolution will lead to obeasity and mankind will generally trudge forward like we have always done.

In all three there is talk of Transendence, the idea that one day will stop being homo sapian sapians and will become, thanks to technology some new thing. Since technology is based on knowledge and knowledge of how stuff works is pretty much zipped up by god than what we are doing for better or worse is becomming closer to god, or in some cases becomming little gods ourselves. Radical evolution huh? At this point the author notes that the religious types may be going about technology in the wrong way. Currently all they do is say "No!" to technology that is ethically challenging. He suggest that perhaps the religious types could be more proactive, in both guiding the ethics that leads to discovery as well as creating the rituals of the future in reguard to technology. As he says, there is a ritual for birth, a ritual for death, and various rituals for comming of age, marriage etc. Perhaps what should be happening is the creation of ritual for technology. Perhaps if someone gets a knee replacement there could be a ritual for the acceptance of the technology joining the biology. Titanium and plastic joins bone with the blessing of the almighty. I think these are splendid ideas.

I also offer one further in that same vein. I challenge that in all the years that went into the creation all of the various works of religion the ethics of technology is already written in based on the technology that existed at that time. Spiritually we don't have to break new ground so much as continue on the path that was started so long ago. Just because we have better metal than iron, and know of plants and animals smaller than the eye can see doesn't mean we are in some strange new world. We are simply on The Curve we were always on, it is just that some people feel frightened and lost because the terrain has changed.

Posted by at 8:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I have come to a realization and a complete understanding. As has already been pointed out, I am illiterate. I read one book or less a year, and by the popular definition that means I can't read at all. I would like to read, I really would, but sadly not even RIF can help me.

It has nothing to do with mental capacity, it was in my second year of third grade they figured out that I was dyslexic and developed methods to allow me to translate giberish into English. Now anything written in the Roman alphabet gets filtered automatically in my brain into English. French, Spanish, all of those written languages get processed through the same filter. If at the other end of the filter, I still can't get meaning from what I am seeing, I get an error message in the form of good old fashioned lizard brained fight or flight response. Thus, interpretitors like those that work at the UN hold superhero status to me. Foreign language classes cause tramatic stress.

At any rate, I can overcome the defects but I can't defeat the curse of illiteracy. I have only just now identified it as a curse, and I know it is older than I am. I have no idea how far back it goes. My grandfather couldn't read, my father who seems to be able to repair anything man can create has never read anything more than newspapers my whole life. At first I thought it was just me, but based on family history I think it goes farther back.

For me the curse works like this. If I attempt to read a book, everyone around me sees instead of me sitting look at a book, they see me sitting with empty hands looking at them waiting with interest to enguage them in conversation. When I was younger, any time I had a book in my hand and my mother was around she would immediately start talking to me. She would not stop. I thought all that time she was just being rude. I had no idea she literally couldn't see me trying to read.

It didn't occure to me when I was in college and no one could seem to tell I was trying to read. It didn't occure to me with the various girlfriends who always managed to get chatty whenever I had a book in my hand. It didn't acutally occure to me until last night as I was sitting on the couch trying to read Radical Evolution. I no longer blame my mother, friends, and ex-girlfriends because my wife helped me to see what was really going on. The good news is the curse only seems to work on actual books. I can read online all day with no unexpected problems. All I have to do is get one of those reader things and read electronic books. I still wouldn't be literate according to the National Endowment for the Arts but why should I care what they think. Infact I think I'm going to add them to the generic threat of bodily harm list. I'd better make it an electronic list, else I won't ever be able to read it.

Posted by at 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It is my opinion that there needs to be some sort of legal document that constitutes a generic threat of bodily harm. Every day idiots sue for the dummest things, break the law and then attempt to use the law to implicate the victum somehow. More often than not, all that is needed to come out on top of any legal hassle is to invest in a really good lawyer.

We live in a day and age when someone can spill hot coffee on themselves while they are driving and successfully sue the restaurant who sold them the coffee. If I had a restaurant with a drive through I would have a sign posted that says:
"We do not sell coffee at our drive through window because we feel that a minority of our customers are not responsible enough to drink it and drive safely, for this reason we have to protect everyone from possible stupidity. We thank you for your understanding."
I would be sued of course. Right, wrong, justice, law, common since, none of these things actually matter. I want your money, I can get it by suing you, soon your money will be mine.

Cease and desist letters are almost as common as bills in the mail these days, I wouldn't be surprised if you can buy them in pads from Staples like "While you were out" message pads.

We (your name here) order you to immediately stop:
__ Harrassing,
__ Selling,
__ Not Selling,
__ Visiting,
__ Not Visiting
__ Calling,
__ Not Calling,
__ Breathing,
__ Other (please specify)

Failure to do whatever we tell you to will lead to us suing you.
For faster service, please include all of your money.

Thank you,
your name here

What I think we really need is something equally as lazy but represents a different attitude. I call it the "Generic Threat of Bodily Harm". What the generic threat of bodily harm does is state in plain and legal terms that if I actually cared more about the stupid things you do I would attempt to help you overcome your short commings via percussive maintainence. This has an important difference from suing. The goal of suing is to take something from someone else because you successfuly argued in court that they purposely harmed you. The generic threat of bodily harm doesn't want money from anyone. It only wants to let you know officially and legally that it is my opinion that you are a complete idiot.

I am even thinking of starting a "Generic Threat of Bodily Harm" list. I am not interested in them enough to call them or send them a letter or email with the "Generic Threat of Bodily Harm", but at least I would have a running list so if the day ever came where I did have the time or interest, I could check them off one by one. Were I to start making that list today I would add Eric and Neil Bauman because in my opinion they are entitled free of charge to one Generic Threat of Bodily Harm each.

Posted by at 9:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I see you received my letter, and I appreciate you taking the time to think about me. I can tell that though you and I don't exactly see eye to eye when it comes to my level of goodness, you at least acknowledged that I was putting forth a very strong effort towards being good. I figure if you can admit that I am at least trying to be good, than I can put forth (or fifth) the effort to stay good in 2006.

To that effort I am letting you know here first my intended news years resolutions for the year. This gives both you and I a checklist to go by at years end.

1. I will not kill anyone.
2. I will not do anything that causes my mother to see me on the six O' clock news.
3. I will learn to play the fiddle.
3. a. I will get a fiddle.
3. b. At no time will I sit in a burning building while playing the fiddle.
3. c. I will not learn to play the world's smallest fiddle.
4. I will continue to eat right and exercise just like always.
5. I will not vote for anyone accepting bribes from organized criminals lobbiest.
6. I will not return fire on those who shoot my house.
7. I will not let the ninja's win.
8. I will read at least two books this year. Radical Evolution and Misquoting Jesus, both I conveniently got for Christmas this year.
9. I will continue on with my hobby at the University until at least one of my careers starts to pay money.
10. I will try to be good.

Thank you for your time, patience, and generosity,
Woody

Posted by at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I heard this morning on NPR that a man that died 18 years ago on death row is getting something like an apeal from beyond the grave. Now that technology has reached the point to make good use of DNA evidence, this man's lawyer is getting the DNA evidence tested in an attempt to prove his client's innocence, even though his client is dead dead dead. Here's a news story on it

I can hear the arguments that are probably already errupting in the blogsphere. Stuff like, the fact that the man was found guilty and justice was done and that's that. On the one hand some might see actions like this as shaking the very pillars of our great nation's legal system. I suspect these people forgot that our legal system was created with the knowledge that it would never be perfect. Justice is blind and all of the symbols that goes with it. Yes, their fear is justified. Should this man who faced judge, jury, and executinor be found innocent thanks to the power of DNA, what next? Its not like the state of Virginia can take it back. The man is dead and no human force on earth can make him undead (ewww...would you really want to).

The people against this are those who belive that if this evidence exonerates him, then those bleeding heart liberals will strike a death blow against the time honored tradition of executions. I don't see this as being the case at all. Dead is still dead, and proof of innocence won't bring anyone back. Anyone who has been growing old sitting on death row deserves this. Do you pro death sentence people want to kill innocents or just the guilty ones?

I've always suspected some of us pro death penalty crowd are only pro death penalty because they like hearing about people die justice be damned. Don't lend evidence to my theory.

Posted by at 3:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What with the holidays and everything going on while I was at home without my precious internet I find myself back online overwelmed with what all to talk about.
Like in the news, where Mark Bauerlein in the Chronicals of Higher Education publically announces that he is ready to be put to pasture having made it over the hill. As Mark mentioned in a forum people have made these same proclimations about the younger generation since there were places to write them down in. There is nothing wrong with "the kids of today", except for the fact that some are too old to realize it. Fortunately for me, Chip who brought this to my attention swears he is going to blog in detail about this so I don't have to.

In Washington a professional briber got caught and he rolled over to the feds, so now suddenly DC has become the charitable giving capital of the world. Send some to fencing guys. I can't really break ground here since I was away from the keyboard when that news broke. I am thrilled to hear that professional bribing may be going the way of the dinosaur though. Still, criminals will be criminals, elected or otherwise.

West Virgina had its share of problems as well, and thanks to Lenslinger I was able to see the tragedy from a truly unique point of view. If you aren't reading him regularly by the way, you really don't know what you are missing. This is some of the best the blogsphere has to offer.

I heard that David Letterman shot the ear off of Bill O'Really. I hate I missed that.

I got this in my email, a forward of a speech by Rev. Dr. Robin Meyers of the Mayflower Church in Oklahoma City OK. Amen.

Meanwhile back home, we have a new gas tax hike, the money from the gas tax was supposed to be used for our roads but somehow it is leaking into the general fund at such a rate that they have to keep raising the tax just to keep the road fund stable. Patch that hole in the fund so they can get back to patching the holes in the road!!!

In my personal life:
We have landed the Mid-Atlantic region Regional Youth Circuit Fencing Event. Now to find the perfect prizes! We are also running a veteran's fencing tournament in late February. We are using old outdated fencing equipment to make prizes. The joke is the trophy is as old as the fencer. The Downtown Fencing Club specializes in those less done tournaments like veterans, youth, and women, rather than only opens like most clubs. My friend's new baby is something certainly worth talking about. I could and should spend some time talking about the four CD's that caused me to decide to learn to play the fiddle. Of all of my Christmas loot, those CD's have been the most enjoyed. I got to spend some time with my family over the holidays, and even managed to spend thirty or so minutes talking with my cousin who is a freelance writer. I could spend a blog entry talking about her thoughts about mainstream print media from her perspective. I only wish I had had couple of hours more time with her. It is amazing to me that there is a writer out there who draws no hits when you google her name. Yet, just yesterday, I was sitting in Urgent Care, I pick up a magazine and read an article written by her. More on Urgent Care later, first I have to mention that the aforementioned Mark (who still needs to buy his URL back) is now a home owner, his friends, Sara and I included have all pitched in to help him move from his appartment to the new Non-Sara friendly townhome. Which leads us back to Urgent Care, Sara's get out of work note and a three day supply of Vicodin.

Oh yeah, and I found another web comic worth mentioning. Sore Thumbs is in their own words an insane political gaming manga type comic. I find it a nice mix of political humor, gaming humor, and pop culture all wrapped in a manga parody comic. Pretty good stuff.

Am I caught up? Nope. Not even a little bit. I think it is time to cut my losses on the past two weeks and just agree to start fresh on Monday. I suppose I also need to see about getting me a fiddle.

Posted by at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)