Woody Cavenaugh

What type of Fae are you?

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

You may recall from the other day, someone from Greensboro Sports.com spoke some discouraging words about women's football leading me to issue a challenge.

There were some more words said. I am not sure what they meant, and I waited for perhaps some commenter (heck even troll Nefarious Prime) to help me understand the words that were written. I think the challenge was declined. Here's the quote, see what you think.

Woody Cavenaugh said that if I would quit laying around then maybe I might have time to cover the Phoenix and that I’m probably washed up and just plain mad that I can’t compete with these young ladies.

Woody is good writer and he has nice blog but if I’m slowing down then I must be missing something because the five miles I put in this morning went by pretty quick. I have a tight schedule and don’t have the time to coach these women but if I did they couldn’t handle what this old hound-dog would be bringing to the table. There’s not a soul in town that can keep up with me. Like I said before, “Everyone is looking for a Leader, if chosen I will Lead the People”.

What started my confusion is he seemed to be saying that I said something that I don't think I said, or even implied. I gather from this that he is too busy and doesn't think the women are capable of learning from him. But I'm not sure that is what he meant either.

Meanwhile in the comments there were words spoken both for and against women's football. The negative ones surprised me. No one has ever accused men of being incapable of performing any sports. I admit, I know only this about sports. They come in four varieties. Ball Sport, Non-Ball Sport, Individual Sport, and Team Sport. The Greensboro Sports blog seems to be more interested in team ball sports, so to me women's football would be right up their alley. I have always been more of a fan of individual non-ball sports.

Just like there are people who prefer to play turn based strategy games, and others who prefer to play first person shooters. Football is clearly a turned based strategy game, and fencing is more like a first person shooter. We know what we like and generally we don't talk smack about what the other person does or likes, at least in computer gaming anyway.

For all I know this bad mouthing women's sport is nothing more than a bonding ritual performed by hard core sports fans and I simply don't have the background to pick up what he's throwing down. Either way, since I have no way to communicate with a sports fan I should probably just stop trying until I understand their language, written, spoken, and that grunting scratching thing they do when they are together. Can anyone recommend a good beginner's sports bar?

Meanwhile I can't say enough nice things about WGHP FOX 8 who put together this really nice story about the Phoenix.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Everyone knows the old saying, "You can have it fast, cheap, or good, but you can only pick two." In the world of project management this isn't just an old saying it is the law. Time, Money, or Resources, and the best you can ever hope to control is two. I contend that the triangle is a true natural law and applies evenly to all things, including women's sports.

The three sides of the triangle in sport are sponsorship, roster, and talent. I have seen teams with large rosters, good sponsorship and only a little talent. I have seen teams with large rosters, little sponsorship, and some talent. I contend the Phoenix is a team with a small roster, plenty of talent, and almost no sponsorship.

Sports has two primary goals, one to be an outlet for the players, and two to be an entertainment for the fans. Without a nice evenly sided triangle these goals can't get met. If you have a team with major backing, and a nice stadium, and they never win, you won't hold your fan base, and your players won't be happy either. If you have a very talented and successful team which no one knows about, the stands of the rented stadium remain empty, and the players have to pay their own way every step of the way to every away game. Thus you have the relationship between talent and sponsorship. Take a talented team with a small roster, and play them hard, and by the fourth quarter you have a tired team making mistakes. If you have a huge roster, but perhaps not strongly talented (that's players and coach by the way), you get creamed unless of course you are playing a small unfunded team of talented players, then you can try to capitalize on their fatigue if you can. In these situations where all things are not equal some games are going to be good and some games are going to be train wrecks. It all depends on who comes closest to the isosceles triangle. Large or small, symmetry has its advantages.

Children's sports takes care of this as best as they can by hopefully balancing the teams evenly at the beginning. High school sports takes care of this as best as they can by breaking up the schools into size groups. Sports wants the perfectly symmetrical triangle facing off against other same sized perfectly symmetrical triangle. NASCAR works hard to make sure that all of the cars are the same, and no team has an unfair advantage. Many larger fencing competitions are split up by gender, age, and rating. The NFL, has the draft, the teams all have similar and fairly proportioned sponsorships, the players are the cream of the crop, the coaches are, the best money can buy with proven records.

Starting next season the IWFL is splitting the teams up into tier one and tier two based on roster size, sponsorship, and performance. When that happens the scores will be closer because the teams will be better matched. The players have more fun, the fans get a better show, and everyone wins.

Meanwhile over on the Greensboro Sports blog, someone speaks a discouraging word about women's football in general:

Women’s Football? That’s all I need. A woman trying to say she’s better than me in Football after all my years of training.

I am issuing a challenge, not an insult. If you're so worried about a woman claiming she is better than you in football, you need to step up and prove your worth. The Phoenix has two very good coaches, and a trainer, but most teams in the IWFL have a whole crew of coaches, trainers, volunteers, fund raisers, publicist, and roles I probably don't even know about. Put up, or shut up.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Yesterday we held our first ever, "No Reason" club social and tournament. It is an opportunity for fencers of all classes to get together, meet, mingle, and fence one another. The way "no reason" works is this. You roll dice, in this case, a giant wooden D4 created by our own talented Jim, and to his credit, he did not weight them in his favor. On the face of the dice are written either "foil" , "epee", or "saber". What you roll is what you fence.

The amazing social aspect of all this is that often times a student might roll something they have never fenced before. When that happens we dress them up, show them how to hold the weapon, give them a brief rundown of the rules and just let them go for it. They have fun trying something new, and it is just as likely their opponent is at a disadvantage as well.

We ran repercharge, which is a fancy fencing word for double elimination. The top finishers won a little pirate or ninja rubber ducky. Afterwards we all went to the park and had a really nice covered dish dinner.

The only little issue the whole day was that going into the event I knew that our club didn't have a saber lame in my size. There are several good reasons for it. For instance, I have no business competing in saber with my heat management issues. I should instead of expecting the club to buy me a lame, choose to lose enough weight to fit into the size 48 lame we have. So, knowing about the lame thing I made a fair proclamation, anyone who rolled saber and was fencing me got an automatic win. A few stated that if that happened they would just re-roll, they wanted to fence. Most of them were excited about the 33% chance of winning a bout without fencing it.

Lots of saber was fenced yesterday, but no one rolled saber against me. I came out second in pools, and won the tournament defeating Trevor in epee. The truth is, I needed that win. It was for fun, it was with friends, but I had never actually won before and it was a good safe place to see what that felt like.

What does it feel like? It feels like sore muscles, tiredness, and bruising, (even on my back). But the little pirate ducky is cute. I also learned something very important about myself. Yes infact the uniform does make me look fat...damn it. (even though I got the touch)

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:00 AM | Permalink

There was a nail biter in Thomasville Saturday night as the Phoenix manage to barely keep their lead defeating the Predators 19-18. Improving their wins to two, keeping their losses at one.

It was a bright and sunny afternoon, good for football and better than the wet weather last week when the Predators of Detroit, 24 strong, kicked off to the Carolina Phoenix. The Phoenix still very light in the roster with only 14 came on strong scoring three minutes and twelve seconds in the first quarter. With the score now 6-0 the Phoenix try to hold the momentum as the Predators try to rally it back their way. Twice the Phoenix stop the Predators deep in their own territory and twice they fought their way back out.

The Phoenix have to punt, shut down by the Predators defense. The Predators fumble, Phoenix recover at the 50 and immediately brings out their air force gaining 40 yards on a pass only to have it brought back by a penalty. The quarterback took matters into her own hands running it right back. 2nd and goal a Phoenix dead ball pushes them back, but it doesn't matter one short pass later and score is 12-0 with six minutes left in the first half.

Predators offense having had enough drove long and hard, scoring a touchdown of their own with 3 minutes left in the half. 12-6 Phoenix. Not to be outdone, the Phoenix complete a pass and run of their own for a 55 yard touchdown. The extra point is good and the Phoenix expand their lead to 19-6 with 1:32 in the first half.

Detroit with some fast breaks hope to put some points up before the half but time was not on their side.

Later, with 3:45 in the third quarter after a long hard and dusty drive the predators ground pounded their way drive after drive scoring their second touchdown of the evening making the score Carolina 19, Detroit 12.

In the fourth quarter the Phoenix short roster took its toll, with a constant flow of fresh players Detroit took the momentum and drove with it. The Predators defense came on hard and fast with four sacks in a row driving the Phoenix offense back easily 40 yards. The Phoenix defense having to work really hard to keep the Predators from advancing.

Two minute warning sounds, the ball is on the 35 yard line, 3rd and 12 for the Predators, huge Predator play makes the score 18-19. A two point conversion is all that is needed to take the lead from the Phoenix and the win it for the Predators.

Friends, I am honestly not sure what I saw through the 2X2 inch family cam view screen, but it was fast, hungry and wearing a Phoenix jersey. The Detroit QB didn't know what was either but it sacked them flat! That right there was the play that sealed the deal for the Carolina Phoenix winning their second game in a row 19 -18, and guaranteeing the rematch in Detroit in two weeks is not to be missed!

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 4:17 PM | Permalink

The Carolina Phoenix will be hosting the Detroit Predators on Saturday May 19th at Cushwa Stadium in Thomasville. Kick off is at 7pm. Ticket price is only $5.00!

This is the last home game of the season for the Phoenix and it promises to be a terrific game.
Click here for some short videos of some fantastic Phoenix action against Shreveport.

Come out and find out what all the fuss is about! Ladies, it is never too late to come see just how much fun they are having out there. Contact the Team for more information about practice times.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:25 AM | Permalink

I have now operated as the team videographer for two games now and I am ever so slowly coming to terms with the differences between Football and Fencing. Besides the obvious, one being a team collision sport and the other being an individual contact sport, one being indoors and the other outdoors, what I discovered is that they are more alike than differing.

Both rely on rather expensive equipment for protection. Mask and helmet, jacket and shoulder pads, underarm protector and girdle, appropriate shoes, and long socks. If you don't have the approved equipment, you don't get to play.

Both are combat oriented with territorial objectives. Football wants you to get the ball past the enemy defenders to an objective, the end zone. Fencing wants you to get your tip past your enemies defenses to an objective, the target.

Both rely on strategy at the macro level, knowing your opponent, knowing how much time is on the clock and what your own strengths and weaknesses are. If you are a fencer with low stamina you will want to end the bout as quickly as you can anaerobically. If you know your opponent tires easily you will want to keep your distance and wear them out. In football it is much the same, does the other team have a lot of fresh players that can be substituted regularly, or do you only have just enough to play. Does the other team like to pass more than run?

Both rely on tactics at the micro level in order to outplay, out think, and outwit your opponent. In fencing it is important to keep your your weapon's bell guard in a good position to protect your target area. Careful placement will limit your opponents options. In football it is important to coordinate your line to either create or block openings where the ball may move, limiting what your opponent can do.

In fencing, if you film a bout for training purposes , you want to see the whole fencer and at least a little of the opponent. If you film fencing for an audience you must have enough camera angles to show in post production how each fencer scores and where the blunders and successes occur. In football, if you film a game for training purposes, you want to see your whole team and at least a little of the other team. If you film football for an audience you must have enough camera angles to show in post production how each team scores and where the blunders and successes occur. Each rely heavily on slow motion to convey the action to the audience.

Another difference here is a fencer won't ever spread out to cover half the strip. Football teams will do that especially when the ball slips past the defenders and is careening wildly towards the target...err end zone. During these moments, I can only guess the most important part of the team is that closest to the ball. If I'm wrong, someone will tell me, or replace me with someone better at videography.

Therefore, if fencing can be called chess at a hundred miles an hour, than football must be chess with very heavy duty pieces.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:24 AM | Permalink

There was electricity in the air of Cushwa stadium in Thomasville Saturday night as the Carolina Phoenix in their first home game of the season improved their IWFL record to 1 and 1 with a 13 - 6 win over the Cape Fear Thunder.

Thunder won the coin toss and the Phoenix kicked off. On the second play of the game the Phoenix forced a fumble and takes possession. Speaking of Thunder and electricity in the air, Thomasville brought some of their own and the game was postponed as the skies fell and the lightning crashed. It ended as quickly as it began and 20 minutes later play resumed.

Phoenix got close to scoring but a pair of penalties pushed them back, they go for a pass and the Thunder intercepted and took the ball back. The Phoenix forced a second fumble and took possession again. Phoenix had trouble getting their passing game together and were forced to punt to the Thunder. Phoenix forced a third fumble and make a nice run out of it. The first quarter ended scoreless.

With 6:06 in the second in a huge play the Phoenix scored an interception. In a see-saw battle the Phoenix lost big yardage but gained it all back and put six on the scoreboard with a pass and run for 40 yards with 3:41 left on the clock. Not to be outdone the Thunder forced a fumble of their own on the Phoenix. The Thunder scooped it up and ran for a game tying touchdown of their own with only 42 second left in the first half.

Coming back from the half, a foiled Phoenix punt (say that three times fast) set the Thunder up for a touchdown but the Phoenix had other plans, they forced a fumble but couldn't get it back, and the Thunder just couldn't push past the Phoenix defense. Later in the third a Thunder blitz puts the Phoenix quarter back down, she left the field on her own power but sat the next several plays out. Later on a Phoenix punt, the Thunder fumbled and the Phoenix recovered in a seat clearing play. The stands on both sides went wild, and they stayed wild when the Phoenix completed a long bomb gaining critical yardage. The next Phoenix pass was incomplete and a Thunder member limped off of the field with an injury. A second pair of Phoenix penalties lost critical yardage and a Thunder interception threatened to take the Phoenix momentum. Though the battle fought back and forth neither team could make any headway and the 3rd quarter ended with a tie, 6-6.

Coming into the forth, the Thunder rallied with some good rushing yards bringing them back into scoring range but they couldn't manage to push passed the Phoenix defense to score. 5:07 on the clock Phoenix way back on their own 10 yard line. A pass interference call against the Thunder gained the Phoenix 10 yards. On the next play the quarterback snuck 40 yards upfield, turned around and on the next play gained another 15 yards. 3:34 on the clock Phoenix was on the 20 and in good scoring distance. They do just that with a beautiful pass strait into the end zone for a touchdown, extra point was good and the score was then Phoenix 13, Thunder 6.

Thunder feeling the pressure pushed back with a long hard drive way deep into scoring territory, but a critical fumble was recovered by the fired up Phoenix defense with only 34 seconds remaining on the clock. Game ends Phoenix 13, Thunder 6, and the fog of the Thomasville night rolled in.

Many thanks to Thomasville rescue squad and police department for being on hand, and to the city of Thomasville for renting the field to the Phoenix. Thomasville is a terrific town and a great place to watch football. Come see for yourself next week (May 19th) 7pm, same place when the Phoenix host the Detroit Predators. Tickets are only $5.00 but worth so much more.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

You may remember back when a certain valve cover bolt broke on me. If you are a close reader you may also remember that I made a minor update that the bolt could be had but would take time. To briefly catch up, I drove back to the 'boro with the missing bolt, ordered one from the local Saturn dealership and it arrived yesterday so I went and got it. I got the call that it was there just about quitting time, so I skipped out a beat or two early and tried to beat the rush. I managed not only to beat the rush but after paying my $7.00 for my bolt, was able to skip right out and nab a tank of $2.89 gas.

Sara was in class, I was on my own, and I was feeling good. What to do about dinner? What to do? It occurred to me that what I really wanted was fried chicken, fried okra, and fried japalano cheese bombers. I wasn't sure why I craved comfort food and didn't give it much thought. I was having a great day and I saw no reason not to go with the flow.

Got my chicken, got my okra, got my bombers, love me some Churches. I had a great drive home. Once I put the food inside I went outside to install that bolt. There is no need to go around with a screw missing. It didn't take but a minute, and as an afterthought I realized I should now snug the bolt to the left and the right of the new one. There is no need to go around with a screw or two loose. First bolt snugged, check. Second bolt, *snap*. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] It was a Kahn moment. Worse yet, it was a nooooo moment.

I read an article the other day which stated that there was a growing pool of evidence that most to all people have the capacity to see a little into the future. And there is quantum science that backs up the theory that particles can move forward and backward in time.

I don't think I need fancy science to tell me what is so plainly obvious. I had comfort food on hand BECAUSE deep down inside, I already knew I would need it.

At any rate, I needed it, it was there, I ate of it, I felt better. That's all that matters. I mean other than the fact that I have to go out and order ANOTHER $7.00 bolt, figure out how I am going to get the broken old bolt out of the aluminum block and replace it without breaking anything else. I think I feel like chicken for lunch.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:17 AM | Permalink

The other day I was in a major non-wally world retail store shopping for a mother's day card. They had cards from mothers, to mothers, to mothers to be, to mothers to be from unborn children, to grandmothers, step mothers, god mothers, and just plan general mothers.

I wanted to get two cards. One for my mother, and one for my grandmother. I didn't see the need to get a "You might be a mother one day" card for Sara. It just seemed pushy somehow. Cards come in two general types. Make your mama laugh, and make your mama cry. Very early on, deep down in the subliminal parts of my mind there are two very important rules. First you do not make your mother bleed, and second you do not make your mother cry. I suppose these rules came about from my own personal "original sin". Being born I did both of those things then demanded fresh warm milk immediately after. I think she's forgiven me for this, but the rules are now forever in place. I swear it won't happen again mom.

I do NOT buy make your mama cry cards. I ONLY buy make your mama laugh cards. So when shopping for that perfect card I only have to read half of them. It was here I discovered a horrible terrible discrimination already in progress. There are no funny "grown men to their mother" mother's day cards. The "from son" collection starts in the womb and goes up to about puberty and then...nothing. The "from grandson" collection was exactly the same. What's up with this? Are the greeting card companies saying that guys stop sending their mothers cards once the guy discovers grass on the field? I call foul! Puberty and the years after it have been one hell of a distraction I admit, but I couldn't have forgotten mother's day more than a couple of times in all those (short) years after.

In the end I had to get both my mother and my grandmother cards found on the "from daughter" rack. Yes, the cute little cartoon characters had bows in their hair. Yes. The funny little joke was definitely slanted in the feminine. Yes. The greeting card company forced me into wild gender bending for the sake of Mother's day and didn't even have the courtesy to get me drunk first.

That my friends is a party foul of the highest order. My only hope is that my mother won't notice, and my grandmother won't remember. In this, there is hope.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:38 AM | Permalink

The Carolina Phoenix will be hosting the Cape Fear Thunder on Saturday May 12th at Cushwa Stadium in Thomasville. Kick off is at 7pm. Ticket price is only $5.00!

Come out and find out what all the fuss is about! Ladies, it is never too late to come out and find out just how much fun they are having out there. Contact the Team for more information about practice times.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 4:14 PM | Permalink

Events of the past week have helped to bring certain (unwitting) tactical and strategic decisions of mine into sharp focus. When it was time to go off to college and seek my fortune I was drawn by a touch of wanderlust. No true desire to leave my home far behind, but a desire to see what else was out there. I have those urges to this day.

In the end I settled here, married a fine woman, bought property with plans to put roots on it. I didn't think about anything but the moment I was in, and that was the folly of youth coupled with a jingle of new job money in my pocket. I know lots of people who have done this same thing and like me, saw (or still see) nothing wrong with it.

What I have now, years later, discovered is the big picture. It is the place of the children to take care of the parents as they get older and less able to do on their own. Brothers and sisters can split the load in ways that work best for them. Perhaps one child far away in a good job can send money, but a closer child does the grunt work, or what have you.

I am an only child. If it gets done, I do it. My parents nearest family are two hours from them and just as old as they are. Their brilliant only child is four hours away from them. I have on my shoulders all of the risk of their impending age. The rewards of being an only child I reaped long ago, with nice Christmases, no fighting for parental attention, nice first car, help with college, down payment on the land, etc. It is nearing time to pay the piper as it were, and I am poorly positioned to do good.

I, of course, can't exactly pack up me and mine and move back to the land of my birth. The only jobs there are those you bring with you. Everything else is bottom dollar work for the man.
It is true, I have skills, but no seed money and no desire to even begin to think about bringing up that kind of marriage ending conversation with my one and only. No sir, no thank you. Besides, there is bound to be another way.

The good news is, it is not exactly crunch time. I have time yet to plan. Mistakes were made, but mistakes are nothing more than opportunities to grow. I think I feel a growth spurt coming on. Wish me luck.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:19 AM | Permalink

Being the furthest away from the source of our power I am, I feel, in a better position to see my clan for what it is. First and foremost a Cavenaugh is incapable of doing wrong. If there is a disagreement between a Cavenaugh and anyone else, you need look further than last name to know who is in the right. If a Cavenaugh does wrong, which they can't, but if they were to, the rest of the clan would form a tight circle around them and protect them to the bitter end.

Second off, a Cavenaugh is stubborn. How stubborn? Stubborn enough that we won't even die until we are good and well ready and not a day before. The only thing that can override this is if through our own stubbornness we cause ourselves to die in spite of ourselves. I know that sounds confusing, but it has happened and therefore it is a rule. How long have we been so right and so stubborn? The first known record of this occurred in Ireland long long ago.

I only mention this because my dear uncle who on Sunday was in such poor shape that the family was gathered to see him to his end is today less than a week later out of Super Everyone Has to Wear Hazmat Gear ICU to a normal room. And I think I spent some time in the waiting room sitting next to Death. He seemed pretty impatient and put out by the whole thing.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:46 PM | Permalink

Today started like yesterday, awakened before the sun, given a good country breakfast with plenty of fresh strawberries and quick as a wink we're back on the road to Wilmington again.

Again I took my place in the waiting room far from the phone, under the watchful gaze of a reproduction, water color that was more old and faded than the people around me. In times like this, reading Neil Gaiman's Stardust (thanks Kimi) and listening to Celtic and Celtic Rock on ye ole MP3 player, that I see things in perhaps a different way. At least I think and hope it was a different way.

A woman in her 40's came down, with a big smile on her face, and a low cut blouse. I don't know which of those three odd things actually caught my attention first, but she managed to keep my attention the rest of the time I was alone there. Not alone in the only her and I in the waiting room sort of way, alone in the way of not being surrounded by every aunt and uncle on my father's side not currently a patient.

Her smile was out of place in the ICU waiting room, her low cut blouse was out of place in a hospital...or a school (unless she were a 17 year old student I suppose). Her age was odd, in that before she arrived I was the infant surrounded by the ancients. She was the only other person in the room under fifty. She grabbed a chair and dragged it over to within three feet of the TV, where she quickly changed channels, and I went back to my book.

It was the movement at the edge of my vision over the pages of Stardust that put her back into my mind. She was sitting about three feet from a fairly sizable TV and her arms were in the air, while she waved them like she just didn't care. I naturally thought she was following along with an exercise show until I looked at what was actually on the TV. On the TV a whole bunch of people were standing around a table covered with stacks of paper. Their hands weren't in the air at all, but laying on the stacks of paper and they were swaying while a man, their apparent leader was speaking. At first I thought the stacks were money, but I noticed that the color was wrong. All this got my curiosity up, and I paused the song I was listening to. The song I was listening to was a happy little jig about honoring the memories of the dead. What? I'm of Irish descent. The man on the TV was leading a prayer, and apparently the at home audience was invited to participate.

Mystery solved I went back to my music, and back to my book, but I kept glancing up wondering if something else would happen. Eventually something did happen. A second woman in her 50's came in and asked to join the woman who, at this point was smiling, but keeping her hands to her self. They were strangers but they had the same smile on their faces and the new woman brought over a chair and took the other corner three feet from the TV. Neither would sit directly in front of the TV, perhaps they thought others were watching the show too.

Occasionally I would catch a man in his 50's sitting near by feigning sleep, open one eye at them and chuckle quietly to himself. That made three of them smiling, two politely ignoring, one truly asleep, and myself quietly taking it all in and trying to remain inconspicuous. OK, as inconspicuous as possible with a lemon yellow T-Shirt green button up over shirt and spiked hair will allow. I was VERY quiet.

Later I met a woman who came with one of my aunts who I pretended to know for the rest of the day. On the ride home I learned she was my aunt's daughter-in-law. She had married one of my cousins. Cousin-in-law? I don't know? She apparently knew me by reputation alone, and I had only managed to learn her name the whole day. She said an awful lot over all, just not useful clues about herself. The reason I had never met her is that up until this week I had never been near Duplin County during the week, and she always works weekends in a hospital.

I wonder if that makes one of us long lost? At any rate, I now know with some certainty that even though I am the furthest flung of my clan from our American source land, I am not the black sheep.

Oh yeah, the bolt broken off in the block of the Saturn! I was supposed to get one of those today. Saturn could have had me one by Tuesday. The junk yard didn't have any Saturn engines at all. WWMD? I'll tell you Monday when I've had a chance to figure it out for myself.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:03 PM | Permalink

I sometimes wonder what purgatory is like. Some people say it is like drifting in darkness all alone nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to smell, nothing to taste, nothing to feel. Others say it is probably like an airport terminal during a snowstorm when all of the flights are canceled. Me, I believe purgatory is like being in a hospital waiting room while a loved one is in intensive care. You have all of the worry and the fret of an airport in a snow storm with all of the sensory deprivation of floating in the void.

It takes brains and more than a little skill to come out of a day in a waiting room unbroken. For me it also takes a backpack. I typically bring a book, mp3 player with plenty of extra batteries, jump rope, computer, note pad, travel coffee mug, flashlight, two tins of mints, a digital camera, a windbreaker, an extra pair of socks, and a spare pair of underwear, and of course, a towel.

Over the course of the day I was able to use the book and the mp3 player to put myself in the world of the story and not in the cold plastic, with constant ringing phone of reality. Never sit near the phone. If you sit near the phone you are expected to answer the phone. On the other end of the phone will be someone whom you don't know looking for someone else whom you also don't know. Tomorrow I am going to find the number of that phone and when the room needs a tension breaker I will walk outside to the smoking section and prank call it. I can't wait to hear some poor old woman shout; "Is someone here for my crotch?" Yes, I am well aware of the irony of prank calling from a place filled with smoke and angst. If purgatory is the waiting room and heaven is the coffee shop, hell is definitely the smoking area.

There is nothing more horrible than a bored anxious smoker. Unless it is a bored anxious smoker who has just gotten some bad news.

Worst of all, the people in the waiting room of intensive care, besides being bored, worried, and anxious, are almost always as old and as plain as the art reproductions on the walls. Where do the young sexy people wait anyway?

MP3 player to protect you from reruns of Walker Texas Ranger and the telephone. Book to protect you from having nothing better to look at. Jacket because it is often chilly in these waiting rooms (I think it is to keep the old people fresher longer). Towel because you will probably want a nap eventually and rest your eyes. Computer in case you finish your book. Notebook in case you have something interesting to write down for later and don't want to wait to boot your computer. (Fact: Computers boot 10 gazillion times slower in intensive care waiting rooms.) A jump rope, to tie up any loose children, or I suppose you could jump some rope to get the blood moving (untie toddler first). A tin of mints so you can have clean fresh breath. A pair of socks and a pair of underwear in case you have to eat in the hospital cafeteria. A tin of mints in case you had to eat in the hospital cafeteria.

So there, now you have had a lesson on hospital intensive care waiting room survival. Aren't you glad I brought a notebook along with me? I should get some more batteries and mints, tomorrow is going to be another long day in purgatory.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 7:55 PM | Permalink

Sara AKA "Tank" donated her long hair in anticipation of the season opener against the Shreveport Aftershock. Leon's on Tate street did the honors for the worthy cause, "Locks of Love".

Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis.

Sara said this was the third time donating to this organization. She said it takes two years to grow her hair long enough to make a good donation and still leave her with a comfortable amount of hair left over. Doing this before the Carolina Phoenix season opener seemed like perfect timing. Her hair was ready for shearing, and she would be much more comfortable in her helmet with a shorter do. So how does it look? See below and judge for yourself!
Before:

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 7:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

One of the drawbacks of being an only child is that when family issues and emergencies occur, there is no one to share the load with. If something happens and my parents need me, I will be there, end of story. On the upside, there will be absolutely no squabbling over inheritance when that sad day finally occurs.

Thus, I find myself on the coast doing my proud duty with a funeral on one side of the family and an ailing uncle in intensive care on the other. Today while mom attended death duty, I stayed by dad's side to be with him and help him do whatever it is he wants or needs done. Today for instance was a dentist day and tomorrow will be a two hour drive to take him to see his brother in the hospital.

Because of the dentist today, it could not be a travel day so we did some of the things he likes to do as a retired person, and I got to see for myself what I have to look forward to in my future days. As you can see below, he goes fishing daily. While he and his friend worked their lines, I looked up and out with the camera so I could show you home on the Newport River.

Later in the day, I borrowed a tool from a friend of his I needed to fix an oil leak on my car. The instructions said to tighten the bolts to 40 pounds. Without a tork wrench I snugged all the bolts to a uniform 20 pounds. Thus the leak. With borrowed tool in hand I fell in on evenly tightening the bolts one after the other 3/4 of a turn at a time. I was almost finished with my first pass around when *snap*...

When I finished cussing, we went to Sears to buy a tool which we would need to remove the broken steal bolt from the cast aluminum block. The block was actually cast in a Styrofoam mold so the aluminum bares the familiar Styrofoam look. See below.

So since we would have to drive two hours to a Saturn dealership anyway to buy the very special bolt, we can't make the repair until we return from Wilmington tomorrow which we were going to do anyway to visit dad's ailing brother.

Then we picked a peck of yard fresh and ripe strawberries. No picture available, just imagine back pain. Strawberries smell like back pain.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 6:29 PM | Permalink

On Sunday morning in Shreveport I called my parents like I do every Sunday. It is tradition, or ritual, or whatever. They were of course very happy to hear about the trip and the game and how Sara was feeling after the game, but they had some news of their own to share. It seems that my uncle, my father's oldest brother, had been admitted to the hospital while the game was going on.
He had never really recovered from his esophageal cancer treatment. How could he, most of his esophagus had been removed and what was left no longer worked correctly to push food into the stomach. On a good day he can weigh almost a hundred pounds. These are not good days.
I asked my parents to keep me posted. If he turned for the worst I would need to go down there in support of my family. It is the way of my people. At this moment I am in late preparations to head that way. The eldest son of Leathe Cavenaugh is still with us. What we didn't count on was the passing of my mother's aunt. This happened late yesterday. I got one night in my own bed and a quandary. Clearly I have duties to attend to, I have enough vacation days saved up to get me through the crisis, but how am I going to be in so many places at once. This is one of the few times I think how handy it would be to have a brother or sister. One could go one way with mother, and the other could go the other with father. Complete parental coverage. But that is not to be. I must instead find the path that does the most good and not fret over the things I have no control over. Just call me the Zen Arrow.
In other words I've packed an extra large bag to cover every clothing occasion, and I'll be back when I get back. I'd better pack a book too.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 7:08 AM | Permalink

For a while I had been saying that what I really needed was to walk the world a while, find some peace on the open road. I just didn't realize that the destination was preordained, and the hours were long and late. For two nights the wood woke before the Woody had even gone to sleep. Surreal times. At any rate,for the Shreveport game I found myself, the driver getting the team up and back safely, and taking video of the game while there.
I got to see my wife play center. That was pretty cool. In case you didn't already know, my wife kicks ass, and not just mine. It was one of the first times I got to see a football game where I wasn't playing, or I wasn't given only the view of the game the producer of the TV show wanted me to see. It turns out football and fencing isn't all that different. Offense, defense, control of territory, objectives, the only real difference between the pigskin and point of a sword is the player. One on one battle tactics and strategy VS group tactics and strategy. I can't say I understood all of what I saw, but I knew enough to know that when I feint deceive on the strip, and when they do it on the field the goal is the same. Confuse your enemy into protecting something that isn't being threatened so a hole in the defense can be created to achieve your objective.
I also know enough to know that the mind of a football player and the mind of a fencer are as different as can be. Its no wonder why so few people can excel at both individual and team sports. I wasn't any good at team sport. I didn't like having to depend on others, and I didn't like feeling like I failed the others. In fencing, success, failure, it is all of my choosing, and for the sake of my own desires. If I want this touch, I take it. I am a bigger part of my own destiny on strip than the person I am facing.
I suppose that makes Sara and I a very complementary pair. You thought I would say "great team" didn't you.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 7:06 AM | Permalink