Woody Cavenaugh

The smell of grilling meat brought some hungry locals to my mobile HQ. Over smoked sausages I pitched women's football to a couple of dubious teen aged girls. Not everyone is cut out for team sport, as I can very well tell you. Before anyone asks, no I did NOT pitch the sport of fencing to them. I leave my business cards at home on football days.

It was a perfect Saturday afternoon in John P Daskyll Stadium when the Cape Fear Thunder played host to the Carolina Phoenix. Last season, the Thunder sported a roster of 30 while the Phoenix boasted only 15. This year the Phoenix bring 30 to the Thunder's 20. Or to sum up the game in the words of the Thunder's Announcer... "OH........no...." Oh yes, the Phoenix brought it!

The booth helped with the Phoenix kickoff by supplying some artificial crowd noise to the mix. Unfortunately it only seemed to add to the Thunder's jitters. The ball landed among the Thunder and some elementary school ball broke out. There was laughter in the stands as the Thunder receiver made two attempts to pick up the ball only to kick it instead. Finally she just fell on it, and the Thunder start the game on the 20 yard line.

Two minutes later at 13:00 in the first quarter the Phoenix cross the line for six and the game is afoot! Later a bad snap by the Thunder lead to a Phoenix recovery, had it not been for grass gremlins I'm pretty sure the Phoenix defense would have scored on that one.

9:46 in the first quarter a Phoenix touch down is brought back due to a penalty. 9:27 they put it back over the line again. Extra point is good, Phoenix lead the Thunder 13 to 0.

First play after the kick off the Thunder throw an interception, Phoenix have possession on the 17 yard line. First Phoenix carry is a touchdown extra point fails 8:09 still in the first and the Phoenix pull away from the Thunder 19 to 0.

There was 1:07 left in the first quarter when the Phoenix had a possession they didn't score on. That was the moment the Thunder woke up. In the second quarter the Thunder played some football making a play and recovering a Phoenix fumble.

10:09 in the second quarter the Phoenix take the punt and score on the very next play, conversion is good and the Phoenix are now at 27 to the Thunder's nothing.

4:58 in the second the Phoenix do it again, only to have a penalty bring it back. I'll let the Thunder announcer sum this one up. "The Phoenix run the exact same play and get the exact same results." Extra point is good, Phoenix make it 34.

Kickoff is received on the 3 yard line, and it is NOT looking good for the Thunder, but to their credit they held on for four plays before the safety makes the score 36 to 0. Just as a side note the Thunder receiving the kickoff on the 3 didn't have nearly as much to do with the power of the kicker as it did with the fact that the Phoenix have a couple of players who can nearly beat the ball to the other side. I predict we are only one high slow kick away from the Phoenix catching their own kickoff. That my friends is FAST!

In an amazing Thunder jump and catch they pick off a Phoenix pass for a seat clearing interception...and I mean fans of both sides stood up and applauded an amazing move. Sadly however, with 19 seconds left in the first half it was for naught.

Half time begins with Boomer the Thunder's mighty...duck(?)...bear(?)...thing(?)...mascot(!) leading a rousing hoola hoop race, followed by a shopping cart race. Next up the Play it Again Sports truck drives around the track while fans attempt to hurl a plastic football into a bucket in the bed for a chance at $250.00.

Coffee, snacks, a potty break and we're back starting the second half with the Phoenix leading by 36. 10:31 in the 3rd quarter, the Phoenix break out the special effects with blur and a touch down. The secret is to take the picture where you thinks she's going to run and hope the camera snaps while she's still in the frame. Its just like photographing a meteor shower, you take a lot of snaps and you hope you get lucky. Phoenix 43, Thunder 0.

7:19 in the 3rd a white dove flies over the field. Yes, three games in a row, its like Jon Woo is directing or something. At any rate at 10:22 the Phoenix make it look easy with a nice round 50 to nothing on a business as usual play.

The rest is history, the Phoenix wrap the game up with a bow 50 to nothing then head over to "Do Dirty's" house for a team BBQ, and game highlights played back on the TV. It was a lot of fun for the whole family, but the drive back home in the wee hours was rough. I generally like being asleep for six hours at 4am, not arriving home. Something tells me I'd better get used to it though, playoffs are coming!

From Phoenix @ Thu...

See you Saturday May 31st at Durham Stadium when the Carolina Phoenix hope to make their eleventh consecutive win in a row against the tier one Central Pennsylvania Vipers. Kick off is at 7pm, but I'll have the grill hot two hours before that. Come out for some tail gating and some awesome football. All you doubters out there! I'm calling you out! Put up, or shut up.

Posted by at 8:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"There's a flag, anyone know why there's a flag?"
"I think it means we have possession."

It was the rematch of the year and the visitor's bleachers had nearly as many spectators as the home team side. The visitor side had plenty of time to meet and mingle since the announcer never turned the speakers on for our side. At half time I was elected "block captain" and sent over to ask them to turn the sound on. They promised they would, but never did. After the game, the Phoenix videographer revealed to me that the announcer used the silence to their advantage with the home team crowd. Real adult move, but whatever.

I'd like to say that the referee's were smart, in the know, and completely unbiased; but I can't, because we don't know what any of the calls they made were. We'd see a flag, shake the Magic Eight Ball and count the yards against the Phoenix. We learned later that though the referee's were throwing flags and making calls, they weren't able to tell anyone who actually caused the infraction. In my experience, the referee throws the little yellow flag they keep secreted in their crotch pockets, then they announce what rule was broken, and who broke it. We could only tell that they were doing one of those, heard rumor that they were doing a second, but not even they seemed to know who made the infraction.

Next there was the "injury incident". In fencing, which barely counts as as a contact sport, we are required to have a medical person on standby for the duration of the tournament. Even T-Ball requires an ambulance. Well, the IWFL also requires an EMT on standby. The Queens didn't get the memo apparently. When one of their players went down on the field, they had to borrow our trainer because they didn't have one. They had to go into the stands and borrow a pair of scissors, which I gladly loaned from my multi-tool. They had to borrow ice from the Phoenix, because they didn't have any of their own. They had to call 911 because they had no ambulance on site. We had to wait fifteen minutes for the fire truck to arrive. We had to wait five or ten more minutes while the firemen determined that an ambulance was needed. We had to wait ten or so additional minutes while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. We had to wait yet another five or so minutes while they moved the fire truck so the ambulance could get on the field. Then finally, FINALLY, the injured player (you remember the injured player right), could get the help they needed. I am, as a coach, insulted to the core that the Queens management think so little of their players that they wouldn't provide for the health and safety of their players.

OK, I think I can stop ranting now. Lets talk some football!

If you have been following the banter on Myspace, you know the Queens really wanted a win against the Phoenix, bad. When they lost the first game, the banter intensified. Many of the players of these two teams played together back in the days of the Cougars and the Cardinals. Coach Holmes of the Phoenix mentored under the Queen's coach, Coach Brown. To say that these games are like family reunions, is an understatement. It is a very dysfunctional family on the field but afterwards you just have to add alcohol to defuse the tensions.

Kickoff was promptly at 6PM, Phoenix received (we have no idea who won the toss). The Queens started the game with their dream team defense and the Phoenix ended their first possession having lost 5 yards. The Phoenix brought their first string defense also and the first Queen carry ends with a 20 yard loss. At the end of the Queens first possession they lost a total of 36 yards.

The Phoenix lose possession on the first play of their second possession, but answer the very next play with an interception and strong run. The very next play the Phoenix offense run for a touchdown with 9:44 left in the first quarter. The extra point is no good so the Phoenix start by putting six on the board.

Speaking of strong defenses, both sides had strong defense squads. There was only 6:08 left in the first quarter when any team managed their first down. That was had by the Phoenix.

I said rant off, but I have to take a quick moment out to make a public service message to coaches all over. If you are going to have a temper tantrum on a windy day and throw your plays on the ground at least make sure your plays are on a clip board. Otherwise you end up having to run down the side line chasing your plays while the folks in the stands laugh at you. You look like a tool and that is totally uncool. That is the end of this public service message.

It was a day of the defenses with both the Phoenix and the Queens really having trouble making headway until 2:57 in the second quarter when the Queens finally made their first successful offensive play. Too bad the penalty brought it back.

At the half the Phoenix still lead the Queens 6 to nothing.

It was back and forth in the third quarter until 4:36, when a brilliant Phoenix run puts them in seven yards of touch down territory which they did the very next play. The extra point attempt was broken but turned into sweet two point conversion. Phoenix now lead the Queens 14 to nothing.

With eleven minutes left in the 4th quarter the Queen's coach finally put in their first string offense. With ten minutes left in the game it looked like the Queens just might prevent the much dreaded and humiliating shut out. Finally at 8:10 they made it over the line, putting six on the board. Phoenix 14, Queens 6.

At around 7:00 in the fourth quarter it looked like the Phoenix put in their third or fourth string offense. From the stands it looked like suddenly the Phoenix forgot how to play the game. Perhaps it was some nefarious plot by a football hating super villain, as it was here also that the Queens took that game stopping injury.

It was during the long wait for medical help that I watched a white dove fly over the field. What? I'm superstitious it happened during the last Queens-Phoenix game as well.

Finally the injured player got the help they needed and we got to see who would manage to gain momentum first. It was the Queens with the momentum. Four plays and a penalty later, they made a second touchdown with 2:32 left in the game. The conversion is good and the game is tied 14 - 14! The first time in eight games that it even looked remotely like something other than a Phoenix win. In the stands we were taking turns relaxing our worn out butt muscles with short walks.

Regular time expires, and complete confusion takes over. In the stands, without the aid of an announcer we don't know what happened next. In fencing there is a coin toss. If no one scores in overtime, the winner of the coin toss wins the bout. Some people said the NFL do something like this too. Someone else coming back from the snack bar said the announcer had said that overtime was five minutes. Suddenly the clock reads fifteen minutes and that means nothing to us either because we learned quickly in the first quarter that the time, yards, and downs, on the board did not reflect our objective reality. That is to say, whoever was running the board was probably well-meaning, but an unpaid and untrained volunteer.

Fortunately, the Phoenix put their first string offense back in and though we didn't know what was going on, we knew that the game was going to be OK. Who wanted to win the most? The Phoenix did. With first and inches, the Phoenix put it over the line. The stands were absolutely silent. We all looked around for the inevitable yellow flag which for some reason didn't materialize, Phoenix for the win at 8:22 in overtime!

Final score, Phoenix 20, Queens 14. The game that started at 6PM ended at 10PM. The Phoenix are one small step closer to the playoffs and the Queens are one giant leap away from it.

Finally, I want to say Hi to all my new cool friends in the stands. Also I have a question for you paid professional writers out there. When some stranger walks up to you and says they have read your stuff, do you get that feeling like you are about to be shot or something? Just curious?

Posted by at 4:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

After last night sitting in a parking lot removing my left front tire, again, to put the belt back on, again, I decided that today would be the day I took the car in to be fixed. I never like taking the car in when I don't know exactly what's wrong, because I like to know the difficulty level and ball park cost before putting it in. However, I'm sick and darned tired of the belt popping off because one of the pulleys occasionally freezing up just long enough to put tension on the belt, tug the tensioner, and free up suddenly causing a a pop and off with the belt.

So today is the day! Transfer some of the tools etc over to the truck. Now we'll take the truck to the gas station to get the in bad need of being replaced tires filled with air. The truck doesn't start....damn. Acts like the battery, pop the hood, oh look, corrosion on the battery. Brush off the terminals and jump start. OK, we should be good now. Off to get air.

We leave the truck running, turn the car off, put air in the truck tires. Go to restart car. Guess what jumps off. My blood pressure can now be measured in PSI. Screw this noise, call AAA. We have an hour wait, so we turn the truck off. On a whim we check the truck again. Yup. Didn't start. So now we are at a convenience store with two non-working vehicles. I go inside and buy Murphy a 40.

I am pretty sure the battery is good but the terminals could use some cleaning. Cleaning the terminals I am shocked to find that the stock terminal clamps are pretty crappy and in this case completely worn out. On the negative post, it is even broken. I go back into the convenience store and buy a package of hose clamps. Once the post and wires were clean of corrosion, I used the hose clamps to tighten the wires on the battery terminals. Worked like a charm. Who's the man? McGuiver for teaching me to think outside of the box.

AAA shows up, and tows the car in a large spiral to the AAA service center. They can get to the Saturn today, cool. Now to go get the terminals fixed, and buy a set of tires, and check to see if the wheels are safe and sound. (They are rusted enough that I think the previous owner drove it on the beach.) The man at the AAA desk says, "Hey, you know we do that too."

So I'm sitting in the waiting room right now of the AAA service center in the most comfortable waiting room chairs ever created. I have wireless access, I'm walking distance from a Starbucks. This ain't a bad way to spend a really crappy morning.

Course.....I haven't paid the bill yet...

Mental note, the Fairlane now has a greatly boosted priority level. Sure it gets 16 stylish miles to the gallon, but two working vehicles are clearly not enough for the two of us when both end up in the shop at once. Hey, it will cost less than a replacement vehicle, and way more styling than an econo-box.

Posted by at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"Once I was the learner, now I am the master"

This was the kind of game that make football fans. Tonight the Carolina Phoenix hosted the Carolina Queens at Durham Stadium. Players from the teams knew one another. The coaches knew one another. The Phoenix coach refers to the Queens coach as a mentor, and one awesome mentor he was.

The Phoenix came into the game 2 and 0, the Queens entered the fray 1 and 1. The Queens needed a win, the Phoenix had a streak they did not want to break. Both teams brought their "A" game tonight, but only one came away a winner.

It all started with the toss, the Queens won it and chose to kick off. The coin toss was the last time that luck made an appearance in this game. Both teams had a very different make up, the Queens had a more uniform roster while the Phoenix have a player for every occasion. The end result was that the teams themselves were pretty evenly matched. Where you saw the real magic was from the strategies the coaches laid out play after play.

8:55 in the first quarter the Phoenix break out for a 24 yard run and the first touch down of the game. The extra point was good and the game is on. 7:00 left in the fist quarter the Queens go for the long bomb 65 yards and a touch down of their own. They go for the extra point, which is blocked to the ground, there is a scramble to make the sudden improvised conversion, and that is stopped inches from the goal.

After that the Queen's defense adapts and makes things rough for the Phoenix offense. Its a back and forth battle of move and counter move. The quarter ends Phoenix 7 Queens 6. As a fencing coach, this started to make sense to me. We have a saying in fencing, "if it works keep doing it until it stops working". We would see a play work once, twice, but seldom three times. 8:38 in the second the Queens receive a punt at seventeen yard line. On the first play they go for the short pass but the Phoenix intercept and run it for a touch down, the extra point is good, and the Phoenix lead 14-6.

Later in the second quarter the Phoenix can't seem to get their passing game together, pass after pass to the grass. The Queens try out a passing game of their own, and it is found lacking also. The Queens did make one completion though, to the Phoenix, who fumble it back two plays later.

The score is 14-6 at the half. The halftime show was brought to us by the Triad Rattlers' Venom dance team. Many thanks to the ladies of the Venom. Each home game this season there is a drawing for a chance to kick a 40 yard field goal into the bed of a truck courtesy of Michael Jordan Nissan. The lucky winner of the drawing made an outstanding effort, but too low, and too short to drive the Titan home.

Just as the Phoenix are returning from the locker room I watched a lone white dove fly across the field. I took it as a good omen for the Phoenix.

9:37 in the 3rd quarter the Queens make a touch down using their running game, the extra point was no good and a hush filled the stands as the Phoenix lead drew to within two point.

This would not do for the Phoenix, however. 5:31 in the 3rd the Phoenix find a weakness in the Queens defense and exploit it for another touchdown, extra point is good, score is now Phoenix 21 Queens 12.

2:35 in the 3rd the Phoenix intercept a pass and make a run to the 50 yard line. Could the Queens spirits be broken? Nope, as if in reply the Queens start exploiting a weakness in the Phoenix, and the momentum swings once again in the Queen's direction.

3:14 left in the 4th Phoenix around the 30 yard line. 4th and 8, the Phoenix decide to go for it. The Queens decide to go for it too, they strip the ball and make a thrilling run for it. But no one in the IWFL is as fast as what the Phoenix brings. In the words of Mark Tebault it was like watching a nature show. The Queens gazelle is ruthlessly rundown by the Phoenix cheetah. Nom Nom Nom. They get as far as the 45 yard line.

1:37 left in the game the Queens are on the 5 yard line and it looks like nothing in the world can stop them from the inevitable touch down. Nothing in the world that is except the Phoenix defense! 4 carries later the ball is on the seven and it belongs to the Phoenix.

Game ends Carolina Phoenix 21 Carolina Queens 12.

Afterwards both teams went to the Blue sports bar and grill at the Durham Hilton where there had been an agreement made in advance to keep the kitchen open for the two hungry teams. I don't know who dropped the ball at the Hilton, but my dinner consisted of a single slice of Papa Johns. It is my own humble opinion that no matter how perfect a place might be, if they can't fulfill your needs, you need to move on.

Ah crap. I'm in Durham. Its 12:29am and I have a fencing tournament to run in Greensboro in seven and a half hours. Congratulations Phoenix, but I've gotta get this, and me, to bed.

Posted by at 12:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)