Woody Cavenaugh

I know I promised you something thoughtful and deep about the differences between the fencing mindset and the football one, but I'm too tired for meaningful. This time yesterday I was 900 miles away in Montreal having just woke up from five hours sleep. Today I am at my desk on five hours sleep, deep and thoughtful will just have to wait until I have had deep sleep of no less than nine hours in duration, and a meal that didn't come in a paper bag.

In the United States convenience store clerk is a job handled by those working their way through college, retired, or hope to get back to school one day. Fast food worker is a job held by high school kids, the retired, and others I can't quite describe at this level of rest. In Quebec, fast food and convenience store worker are jobs that aspiring models and actors work at in hopes of being discovered. Even the one working the fry vat has bright intelligent eyes, clear skin and a body that could not have ever eaten fast food. It was weird.

I remember walking into a convenience store in the middle of nowhere Quebec, my six years of failed french lessons a jumbled mess of misfiring synapses and emotional damage. This completely beautiful girl at the counter smiles at me saying "Bonjour, hello!" I manage to mumble a bonjure back while trying not to look at my shoes. She rings up the two 20oz bottles Pepsi Max and cheerfully says to me "Quatre dollars, et vinget-et-un cent ci vous pley" (Just like that, only spelled correctly). I hand her my card, I have no Canadian currency. I remember her asking something that I knew meant "Is that all for you?" I nodded red faced, noticing the soles on my Clarks were cracking and the shoes really needed replacing, maybe this time with a black pair.
She handed me my card and my receipt for the two drinks costing four dollars and change. I signed the slip and pushed it back across the counter. I managed to stammer, "Merci boucoups" as I scampered out the door. I climbed back into the Rav-4 thinking, aloud to no one in particular "The King of Dorkness has returned."

It was like that.

Even in the stands watching the football game I wondered if the game was being played on the campus of some sort of modeling school. Even the old people were healthy, happy, smiling, and model-esq. I felt like the frog prince's stunt double.

After the game, the members of the Blitz took off their helmets and shoulder pads and rushed over to the fence to visit with friends and family. They didn't look anything like a football team. They looked like they were auditioning for a women of football calendar and there just weren't enough months in the year to go around.

I packed up the wet computer bag, wet camera bag, wet video gear, wet tripod, wet notebook, and put the all in their respective wet bags. I slogged down the portable bleachers squelching in my wet shoes, my wet cloths clinging uncomfortably under my wet jacket. I looked worse than a clog in a medical examiner's sink. Funny thing was everyone I met on the slog over to the vehicle were completely dry and smiled a friendly smile, "Pardon moi", "Excuse me", "Bonjour", "Hi", each spoken with the sort of warmth you reserve for your closest friends during the holidays. Sitting in the car waiting for the team to return from the locker room I heard live music from a bar nearby, it was Celtic Rock, the fiddle player was on fire, and my toes squelched wetly to the beat. The air was clean and cool and the world was perfect, apart from the loss that is.

How can a city that looks so run down, with a highway system that looks like it was designed by a group of attention deficit disorder spastics having a group conniption fit with a plate of spaghetti all be so darned nice and attractive all at once? It is a mystery for the ages.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:17 AM | Permalink

I don't know where I am.
We can't find the field.
The Magellan can only do so much, one has to plan a highway system, not simply stack new roads on top of the old ones.

Finally we make it, tired and disorientated, to the field. I think it was at some sort of school it was hard to say. I didn't see any classrooms but there were a lot of apartment buildings everywhere.

The field is turf, it is laid out for some other sport that is about ten or twenty yards wider than football field width. The football lines are there too. There is no announcer's box. The bleachers are in the rain and are the short and portable type. The announcer is in a tent on the side line.

I have my gear and a borrowed video camera. I begin to set up. Did I mention the rain. It was a warm soaking rain. It was a very nice rain. But it isn't a nice rain if you have a note pad, lap top, digital camera and video camera. I had all of these. I had to improvise.

From Phoenix VS B...

The award for Phoenix fandom goes to Murph's mom who came up from Rhode Island to see the game, and brought no rain gear. It was love that kept her in the stands, and it wasn't a love of football.

Alright, lets talk kickoff. Phoenix receive on the 28. They fumble, Blitz recover and at 14:04 in the first quarter make their first touchdown, extra point is good, and away we go.

Phoenix receive on the 30 and fumble (sound familiar?). The difference is this time they manage to keep it. But it is for naught. At 7:06 the Blitz score another touch down. They seem very well practiced. Very well rehearsed. Very well prepared. It is very obvious they studied the heck out of the game footage we sent them. The Blitz have one microphone and their cheerleader is running it. But he's a nice guy. Occasionally he announces the fouls to the crowd. Mostly he cheers the Blitz on and keeps the crowd stirred up.

Phoenix receive on the 38 and with 4:21 left in the first quarter cross the 50 for the first time. Tired, lost, hungry, and shook up is no way to go through a football game, but if that's what you have, that's what you play with.

Phoenix get within 10 of the end zone and lose possession. This will be a theme this wet enchanted evening. This first time however, the Phoenix intercept it back. 13:29 in the 2nd quarter the Phoenix get on the board with seven.

I'm digging the Canadian fans. Half of them I absolutely love and the other half are cruising for a rumble. All of them are far too pretty. The fact that they can buy beer at the concession stand and the fact that the Phoenix are such class acts lead to me loving them all by the end of the game. They just needed to get buzzed and realize that we're cool too. By the end of the game they were cheering for both sides. They just wanted to see good plays.

Looks like the Blitz are the other tier two team that can pass. 7:12 on a 4th down the Blitz make the score 21 to the Phoenix's seven.

Phoenix receive on the 38th, break out with a couple of most excellent runs. They made it all the way to the 8 yard line. Few teams have a defense that can outrun the Phoenix. The Blitz is one of these, stopping the Phoenix offense cold. It is a terrific position for the Phoenix Defense to do that voodoo that they do so well, and the Blitz knew it too. The first half trickles away one knee at a time.

The referees had a tough time this game, they were asked to referee American football but I think they were reffing something else- European football perhaps. Fortunately the IWFL had a officer on hand to notice this and quietly take notes on it. Perhaps next year...

Third quarter, Phoenix are a little more awake and warmed up. They hold off the Blitz score until 12:13. Next Phoenix possession its a short pass and a 50 yard run for the Phoenix Score, its now Blitz 28, Phoenix 14.

8:19 the Blitz cross the line again. It isn't about their Offense being better or faster, it has everything to do with being prepared and practiced against the Phoenix defense in the previous two weeks. 35 - 14 Blitz.

2:00 in the 3rd quarter the Phoenix drive...drive...drive it home making the score Blitz 35, Phoenix 21. 1:13 on the first Blitz possession after the kickoff they score a touchdown off of a pass, Blitz now at 41.

Sometime after something happened but I don't know what it was because of the big assed tent on the sidelines in the way.

Final Score Blitz 41, and Chicago bound, Phoenix 27 and hoping they can get back across the boarder. Tonight the Blitz proved that being better rested and better prepared isn't much but its enough to get you to Chicago for the championships. Congratz Blitz, and I'll see you there!

Stay tuned. I'm too tired to write it now as it is after 1am on Sunday in Canada and we have to be at work on Monday. Tomorrow, we hellride. I have another Phoenix VS Blitz entry in me. Don't bother if you are looking for football talk because it isn't going to happen. This is about wining, losing, blame, and the differences between team sports and individual sports. I'm writing this here so I can't weasel out of writing it. You will hold me accountable to it. Plus there's a drinking story in it, so it can't lose.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 12:56 AM | Permalink

They say an army moves on it's stomach. This assumes of course that everything else involved with moving that army is already taken care of.

As their first "full fledged-full membership" season with the IWFL the Phoenix can be said to operate on a shoe string budget- and that's giving shoestrings a lot of credit. They managed to fund themselves almost the whole regular season through dues, donations, and paying out of pocket. After a 7 and 1 season the barrel was dry for playoffs and the ever present championship game in Chicago. But before Chicago, they have to move 28 players, two coaches, and a blogger to a different country- and back again. It seems simple when you refer to 28 players as a group. The reality is when traveling you are moving a player and a player and a player (keep going until you reach 28, then add a coach, a coach, and a blogger (or after this gets published the "official team tattle tail").

So here's the break down, two coaches, a blogger and ten players climbed into a fifteen passenger van and a support vehicle. We left at 8am Friday morning. Our trip took us north to Liverpool NY where we were guest of TP's family. They had a house large enough to sleep us and were ready and capable of feeding the entier team. Saturday we'll climb back into the vehicles and drive the last four or five hours (depending on whose navigating) to the field.

Group two left about 2pm and will drive strait through to Montreal. They will arrive late, sleep later and rendeavous at the field.

Groups three through five or six are doing their own thing which includes getting their United Airlines flight cancelled (Boo United!) and getting hooked up by US Air (Horay for US Air!). Players as of Friday night, in New England, in NC, and somewhere on the highway between here and there.

If all goes well, all 28 players, two coaches, and a blogger will be at the field just outside of Montreal Quebec Canada at 5:30pm for the kickoff. Pray for us.

One more thing that separates football, and I suppose all team sports, from fencing occured this week. The IWFL mandates that each team must supply the next team they play with the game footage from the last game they played. Some teams don't do it, and they get fined for it. In one case that I am aware of the snubbed team got the film from the team the offending team played last. Its playoff time and now the gamesmenship has driven into overdrive. Two days after playing their last game, the Phoenix had the game authored to DVD and in the mail to Canada. The Montreal team made sure the game arrived the day before we had to leave. The rule about getting the film exchanged was fufilled without actually allowing it to be useful. Well played... So if the Phoenix win, they did it without the game footage (woot!), if they lose this pre-game foul will have had something to do with it. I can see it from their point of view- Win at all cost! Hoo raa!! Whatever. Lame.

The best team should win based on skill on the field not BS off the field. Rant off and goodnight!

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 4:50 PM | Permalink

It was a nice day at Durham Stadium as the tailgaters set up their camps and the smell of grilling meat filled the afternoon air. The news was that rain was coming in from the west, but no one was willing to let that possibility dampen their spirits.

From Phoenix VS Th...

From Phoenix VS Th...

During the game I had the pleasure of sitting with "The Order of the Phoenix", there are fans, and there are serious fans. These guys need their own section!

From Phoenix VS Th...

To the ringing of cowbells and the yell of the fans the Thunder receive the ball. Shortly later, it would be the Phoenix's turn. 7:41 left in the first quarter, with Thunder pressure a 20 yard pass finds its way into the end zone, Phoenix score with the extra point and it begins at seven to zero.

It was about here the rain began to fall, it was a nice steady cool rain that sent fans packing into the hallways and out to their cars to get their umbrellas. On the field, the relief of the cool rain was offset by the slick ball and slick field. Fumbles abounded on both sides. In one Thunder fumble a Phoenix line person picks it up and heads for the end zone, they are brought down fifteen yards later dragging three thunder players the entire distance. The crowd went wild!

2:48 in the second quarter, the rainy conditions kept the score low, but the Phoenix do it anyway, conversion is good Phoenix go into halftime with a score of 15 to 0.

Coming back from half time, the rain has let up and the air has cooled considerably. Phoenix receive from the Thunder. A nice kick goes deep only to fall through the hands of a Phoenix receiver. She turns around and chases after it, picks it up nearly in the end zone and proceeds to run sixty yards upfield. Not satisfied with a mere sixty yards the very next play takes it the rest of the way with the first touch down of the second half scored in the first 50 seconds of play. Conversion fails Phoenix 21, Thunder 0.

8:13 the Phoenix capitalize on a Thunder fumble and two plays later cross the line, extra point is good, Phoenix now up by 28.

12:21 in the 4th quarter the Phoenix break out for a great big run, the extra point is good phoenix now up by 35.

4:43 left in the game in a move that rattled our ear drums and cleared the stands, the Phoenix player known as "Predator" heads toward the end zone. A Thunder player moves to intercept taking a place as an impassible wall between the ball and scoring. Predator however didn't see a wall, she only saw grass that needed mowing down. *BOOOOM!* with the sound of shattering Thunder, nothing in the world is left to stop the mighty Predator!
Final score Phoenix 41, and the new Tier 2 South Atlantic Champions!

From Phoenix VS Th...

After the game, players and fans from both teams converged on Time Out sports bar in Durham for some good food and some good times. I always love these events because once there you can never tell one team from the other. What happens on the field stays on the field and everyone has a good time.

Next stop for the Phoenix: Montreal Canada for a playoff game against the Tier 2 North Atlantic Champions the Blitz. Here's as good a place as any to post a special message to the fans from Coach Tim Holmes:

The Carolina Phoenix Women's Tackle Football Team needs your help. We have won the South Atlantic Division Title of the Independent Women's Football League (IWFL). We will advance to the playoffs which will take place in two weeks in Montreal, Canada. If we are successful and we completely expect to be, we will continue on to the Championship game in Chicago on July 26th.

We focus on offering women an opportunity to play a sport that they love. Through sports, women are empowered to be successful in their careers and in all areas of their lives. Our team is comprised of teachers, students, stay-at-home moms, business professionals and many more. We are a diverse group of women from all walks of life.

We pay to play for the love of the game and could use help with the expense of the road trips with gas prices at $4 per gallon. In exchange for your assistance, we can offer advertising opportunities in next year's program which is sold at every home game and presented at all community service activities. In addition, you would be listed as a featured sponsor on our website. Check us out at WRAL/Yahoo Sports:

If you are interested or know someone who might assist us, please contact Marketing Coordinator, Leigh Holmes at marketing (at) carolinaphoenixfootball.com You can also done directly via paypal to the same email address.

Yeah...go back and watch the video again. That's my wife! :) She's a killer at large, and she's on the loose!

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:58 AM | Permalink

I have been to the top of the mountain, and it was good. I have seen what true professional women's football looks like. As the unofficial team blogger I feel it is my job, neigh, my duty to take Phoenix fandom to the next level!!

When we are away, we need to be together. There is a visitor's side, and yes, it is there for us, but hear me out on this one. Most fields are orientated such that the sun sets behind the home side. So throughout the whole game, the visitors are staring into the sun and as you can see above hiding behind umbrellas in the Hotlanta sun. I counted over 20 Phoenix fans in Atlanta and never more than five in any one place. My suggestion is to follow the lead of Brandon who's running the Phoenix camera- base yourself in the shade of the announcer's box. It is shaded, it is the best seat in the house, and if we're sitting there the home team fans can't.

As a bonus, by being together, we appear a larger crowd than might actually be. We yell and cheer for our own team and those home team fans to the left us think that the visitors are filling all of the stands to their right. Those home team fans on the right think that everyone to the left of them are cheering for the visitors. Divide and conquer!

Two: We need more cowbell. We need more signs, banners, bunting, t-shirts, hats, horns, bells, blocks, bullhorns and whatever else you can think of. Lets make some noise! Even if for whatever reason you can't ring the bell or do the wave, if you're wearing a team shirt, you're helping out. This goes for home as well of course. Away we just need to turn it up to eleven.

One thing that we can and do in Durham that Atlanta couldn't do was have a tailgate party. I suppose you could have done it in Atlanta, but I feel weird about setting up my grill on pavement, and having beer at a high school is just wrong. Our home tailgate parties are good, but they could be better. We need to work together more, to have one big party in the middle rather than four or five parties around the edges. When that visiting team's bus pulls in, I want every one of them to think to themselves, "Holy cow! Look at the tailgaters! The Phoenix are serious! Its a psychological game, but first it is where we get to have fun, eat and mingle before kickoff. I tend to park where I do first row in the middle so I can give away some drinks to the visiting team when they get back in their bus. I want their last view of us to be that we are really amazingly cool people.

I realize that teams like Atlanta who have been to three championships and are wearing those spiffy championship rings have had a lot of time in past years to organize and work stuff out. I feel it is time to get started so when we get there we as fans will be ready to give the team the support they deserve.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 1:01 PM | Permalink

From Phoenix @ Xpl...

Witness the POWER of the world's smallest tailgate party!

The tier two Phoenix come into this game 6-0 for the season, on a twelve game winning streak with their eyes firmly affixed on the championship. The Xplosion, tier one veterans of the championship and winners themselves have had something of a hit and miss season with so many veterans retiring at the end of the last season. They want a win, and they see the Phoenix as easy pickings.

The Xplosion lost a bunch of veterans last season, but they are a huge squad with over 40 dressed out and ready to play. They are also veterans of spectacle and the psychological game. For instance when we arrived the scoreboard read Home 35, Visitors 0, 4th quarter 1st and 10, home team's ball. They had a special area for their veteran players, making it look like a homecoming as much as anything else. VIP sections in the stands, swag (last home game of the season the Xplosion were having a "blowout sale"). They had an actual cheer leading squad. 18 strong, five of them men. No children, not a high school squad. Xplosion squad uniforms. Let me take this moment for a public service message: Please give to the starving cheerleader fund. They have spirit, what they need is a steak. Also, a few Twinkies wouldn't hurt either. Lets fill those bellies so they can fill their uniforms! Kidding aside, they were a competitive squad with abs you could count from the highest reaches of the stands.

The Xplosion bring nine coaches to the field compared to the Phoenix's two. The Xplosion have fans, they also have a "self proclaimed" Pep Squad, instruments, signs, and all. Bad assed!

Back to the game. Xplosion win the toss, Phoenix receive. Phoenix gained good yardage but had to punt. This doesn't normally happen until the second half. Oh yes, this is gonna be a good game! The punt goes deep and the Xplosion take over on the 5. This is where the Phoenix defense shine! But not today. Xplosion break free and make it up to the 42. It is at this point the Phoenix fans numbering in the 20's realized that what we were seeing here was what it looked like when two strong teams played together.

With seconds left in the first quarter the Phoenix fumble in the backfield making for an Xplosion possession in scoring range. Folks...its brown trouser's time. I hope I packed my emergency pants.

11:50 in the second quarter I witness something I don't think I've ever seen before. A team scoring before the Phoenix. Extra point is good, Xplosion up by 7.

7:46 in the second a rattled Phoenix let another go by, but the Xplosion are having to work for it, maybe not as hard as I would like, but it isn't free. The extra point is good, the Xplosion are now up by 14.

This is a game defined by small Phoenix mistakes capitalized by a well disciplined team. If you always make the same mistakes, sooner or later someone is going to train specifically to exploit them.

1:28 in the 2nd quarter in "The Pass That Should Not Have Been", the Xplosion literally fall across the line for their third touchdown, extra point is good, Xplosion 21, Phoenix 0.

Half-time, congratulations to the mens and women's cheerleaders of the year. It was kind of a homecoming king and queen feel, the whole thing. Then came the entertainment. Fiona Simone, or as the folks in the stands said, "Who?".
Due to the distortion of the sound system and the fact that I'm Celtic American, I have no idea if she was good or not but I liked her look, I liked her sweet purple mohawk, and now I know that there is a genre called "Lesbian Hip-Hop". Cool. The crowd in the stands, better than three hundred by my estimate, seemed to like her, and that's good enough for me. I also got a free CD. Someone went around the stands passing them out. I am going to have to give it a listen before I hand it off to someone who knows about this "hippity hoppity musicky euniquey(?)" thing.

On to third quarter, 7:44 to be exact, things get a little hot on the field and I'm not just talking about the temperature. I get the feeling that the Xplosion hadn't been hit in a while. The Xplosion have the ball on the one yard line and it took a full four plays to cross the line...well, truth be told you'll never convince me that they actually crossed the line, but they got their touchdown anyway. Its the first time I have ever heard of a touchdown being awarded when the football was found at the bottom of a pile of bodies still on the one. I guess they tried real hard and that counts for something. Xplosion 28, Phoenix 0.

Tonight's magic number is "30", that is where the Xplosion always took possession, that is where our offense always got stopped.

Forth quarter someone turned the Phoenix defense up to eleven. I don't know where they found it, the Phoenix Defense has been playing the whole game...almost literally. 7:27 in the 4th their second wind runs out. Xplosion 35, right where the scoreboard said it would be in the 20 minutes before the game even started.

The IWFL has rules about sportsmanship. They frown on end zone antics and showboating in general. I realize that this is the Xplosion's best game this season, but come on, you guys were national champions. How about some class?

4:35 left in the 4th the Phoenix defense find an extra 200%, but when all they had left was 10% that isn't much. Final score Xplosion 42, Phoenix 0. This makes the Xplosion bid for a wild card slot in tier one much more certain, while the Phoenix are counting the points up wondering if they can hold on to second in division two.

To sum up, the Xplosion was the first real look at what women's football can be. They ran a great show with very high production value. They had a strong support base with staff, vending, half time entertainment, terrific organization, and one of the best announcers I've heard anywhere. The fans were all class acts, and everyone went the extra mile to show us terrific hospitality. I honestly can't wait to go back and watch how the Phoenix fair against them next season.

Next week, Durham Stadium, come see the Phoenix finish up their regular season when they face the Cape Fear Thunder! I'll have the grill hot, and the chickens standing at attention.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The skies darkened at the Turning Point Studio's tent as the Central Pennsylvania Viper's bus pulled into Durham Stadium. Tailgaters were popping up like meercats trying to get a glimpse at what this tier one team was going to look like.

The Carolina Phoenix went into this game tied in wins with two other tier two teams. The seeding was down to indicators and that put the Phoenix in third trailing Montreal and Clarksville. Every game is important, every touch down scored can bring you closer to first place, every touchdown scored against you can bring you farther away. A loss now would be a very unwelcome thing.

As the Vipers entered the locker room, the lightning started falling from the sky like rain, and the the only thing falling faster than the rain was a Bush approval rating. We hunkered under our tents eating BBQ'd chicken and wondering how long the delay would be.

From Phoenix VS Vi...

Just before seven the storm moved out and people started shaking out wet chairs and packing up food getting ready to head inside. We were all listening to the PA system. When Barry gets on the mic we know the national anthem is close to starting.

While standing in the ticket line off in the distance I think I hear a whistle. The referee's must be fooling around pre-kickoff. I'm standing about seven people from the ticket booth when I hear Barry come on the PA system announcing that the storm had knocked the PA system out and he apologized for the delay, the extra point attempt turned into a successful conversion, the Phoenix are leading 8 to nothing.

We make it to our seats with a pretty nice sized crowd considering the weather. 5:17 in the first the Phoenix do it again to show us what we missed while we were buying tickets. The extra point fails, so the Phoenix are at 14 and the Vipers are at 0.

The Vipers are the weakest team in the strongest tier one conference, while the Phoenix are the strongest team in a small tier two conference. Everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never came to be. 10:24 in the second quarter a 30 yard pass leads to another Phoenix TD, extra point is good, Phoenix now at 21.

With 4:42 in the Second quarter the Phoenix make a short pitch, the ball carrier breaks one, two, three, four tackles to score a touchdown. Extra point is good and the Phoenix are now at 28.

2:44 left in the half, Viper's have possession, its 4th down on the 30 and they are going for it, the pass is intercepted by the Phoenix who saunter into the end zone. Bad snap, the extra point attempt is no good, Phoenix 34 Vipers zero.

With seconds left in the half the Vipers make a pass completion and there is nothing but green grass ahead of them...but no one out flies the Phoenix. Halftime finds the Phoenix at 34 and the Vipers with nothing.

Second half, 6:25 in the third quarter the Phoenix are for the first time this game forced to punt as the Vipers defense gets their legs under them. The Phoenix are only allowed to score one more time this half at 3:39 in the 3rd when the Phoenix break away with a 55 yard run. Extra point is good, Phoenix are stopped at 41 to nothing.

After the game its time for the after party with special thanks to Time Out sports bar and grill for an outstanding time. There was much fun had by all, and the Vipers were outstanding party guest. Some of us sleep however, so yours truly did not head to the dance club at 2am when the others did. You play hard, you party hard, and the Phoenix and Vipers both proved they could do both with wild abandon.

Meanwhile....

The Montreal Blitz allow 14 to the New England Intensity in a 40-14 game, and the Clarksville Fox are shutout in Chicago against the Force 40-0. With the Phoenix shutout, they move up in the standings. Is that a Division two number one spot I see? Lets see if they can keep it when the Phoenix Travel to Atlanta on the 7th to play former IWFL champion team the Xplosion, then its back for their last regular season home game against the Thunder on the 14th.

I'll have the grill hot and the chicken at attention.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:30 AM | Permalink