Woody Cavenaugh

We just bought a kicking video camera for recording Phoenix football games. We couldn't justify it before, but since we're having a baby, we can say "Its for the baby", but really we're using it to record football games.

My job on the team - I say I'm "On the team", I'm really just married to the General Manager. I'm a semi-pro groupie, but I like to kid myself and say I'm on the team as a "media specialist". What that means is I film the game and I write blogs about the games. I want to be supportive.

Now that I've got the really nice camera that shoots the game in standard play at 7 megabits per second at 1920X1080. Standard play is next to the lowest camera setting. I'm no fool, one of the eventual outputs of this footage is uploaded via the internet to the league's game server. They want it 640X480 high quality Windows Media Player format, and hopefully not much more than a gig or a gig and a half in size.

My standard recording format of a game brings the size of the file in somewhere between eight and ten gigs. If I were to go full HD on that bad boy, it would take an act of congress to dumb it down to something streamable.

The camera comes with software. It takes the film I took (which is broken up into chunks), puts it back together and spits it out as in mpeg2 format. Raw data is 8GB, mpeg is 8GB.
And oh baby, it is BEAUTIFUL. Unusable, but beautiful. I've got to dumb it down before it is usable.

I'll use Windows Movie Maker to make it exactly what the league wants.
Me- "Take this mpeg video and make it small."
WMM - "You mean this really large sound file here?"
Me- "No, this mpeg video. It is right here, it is gorgeous."
WMM- "uh-hu, I see, getting into that whole 4/20 thing aren't you. Come back when the buzz wears off."
Me- "I don't use drugs, I haven't even had a beer today. Take my video and do your freakin' job."
WMM- "Sure fine, give me your video."
Me- "Here you go."
WMM- "There's no video here, only audio"
Me- "Yes there is."
WMM- "No there isn't."
Me- "Yes there is"
WMM- "No there isn't."
Me- "Yes there is"
WMM- "No there isn't."
Me- "Fine. I'll hook the camera back up and I'll let you import the raw footage yourself"
WMM- "Fine, you do that."
Me- "OK, there it is, all hooked up, go ahead and import that."
WMM- "You have to hook up the camera first."
Me- "I've hooked up the camera."
WMM- "No you haven't"
Me- "Yes I have"
WMM- "No you haven't"
Me- "Yes I have"
WMM- "No you haven't"
Me- "Yes I have"
WMM- "No you haven't"
Me- "Fine. What's wrong."
WMM- "You need to take a USB cable and connect it between me and the camera."
Me- "OK, done."
WMM- "*sigh*, The USB cable has a flat end that looks like this, and a square end that looks like this. They will have a symbol that looks like this, match the shape and the symbol on the cable to the corresponding shape and symbol on the camera. Its like the blocks you used to play with in pre-school."
Me- "I didn't go to pre-school, anyway, I've done that. Its done. The camera is here and it says "HI". The camera and I are just waiting for you to suck down the data."
WMM- "No pre-school, that explains a bunch. Look, is there someone technical around I can talk to?"
Me- "I've been an IT professional since 1994, I am technical."
WMM- "Let me guess, you were a UNCG ISOM major?"
Me- "No! Never! I worked my way up from support all the way up to administrator."
WMM- "Yes... Perhaps there is a young child I can talk to?"

At this point in my mind's eye I see a thousand Celtic warriors in wode streaming over a low rise onto the Microsoft campus in Redmond Virginia. But in reality, I sit at the computer, my face flush, my pulse racing, my blood pressure in psi. In my mind, I've got an axe in my hand, I'm pretty much naked except for the blue and I'm hacking through a hastily erected barricade. Its on fire. In reality, I'm pretty much naked except for the flannel bathrobe, counting to ten under my breath while doing some deep breathing exercises. The same ones my wife is learning for labor. I'm shaking, I'm sweating, and I'm getting no sympathy from anyone or anything.

The dog says, "Pet me please."
The cat says, "Pet me NOW."
The wife says, "The cat boxes stink, you should do something about that."
Windows Media Maker says, "Is there someone smart I can talk to?"

I've got an awesome camera, and 10GB of the Erie game. I have no idea why the Erie game is two GB larger than the Louisville game. I'm going to try some other piece of software. Hey, this is cool. I can tell it I want the output 640X480. I can tell it I want high quality just like the league wants, I can tell it AVI because that's an approved file type. GO!

The next morning I awoke to a completed AVI, the quality was pretty crappy, but hey it is 640X480 and the league will like....wait a minute.... The original mpg is 10GB, and is high quality full size wide screen perfection. This avi is low quality, 640X480 and 16GB. I need a drink. I need a whole mess of drinks.

Me- "You, Handbrake...freeware. You want to make me a movie?"
HB- "Mai Oui!" (Handbrake is French)
Me- "I need this dumbed down to high quality 640X480, and I want it no more than 1.5GB"
HB-"It is...how you say...piece of cake" (Handbrake is French, I'm not. I'm paraphrasing here)

Its 7am on an otherwise beautiful Tuesday, I've been working on this since 2:30am on Sunday morning. Windows Media Maker insulted my intelligence, my sanity, and my junk. Roxio, can do a bunch of cool stuff, but not small file sizes. Handbrake made me an MP4, but when I went to view it (in anything) it was sound only.

I'm naming my first heart attack "Phoenix". I put the mp4 on a fob handed it to my wife and said to heck with the whole thing, I'm walking to work. I need to clear my head. So I rode to work with my wife instead. I don't even remember why right now. Once I got to my desk I get an IM from her:
Her- "That mpg is BRILLIANT!"
Me- "You can see it?"
Her- "Yes"
Me- "And it looks good?"
Her- "It looks great!"
Me- "640X480?"
Her- "Yes."
Me- "Any chance we can vacation in Virginia this summer? I'm thinking I want to try my hand at Celtic battle reenacting. We're going to need a whole mess of wode. You can film it with our very fine new camera."

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It was a night of nearly unstoppable defenses and virtually un-startable offenses as the Phoenix took the field against the Illusion of Erie Pennsylvania.

It started like business as usual for the Phoenix, they received and made strong strides down the field, but the Illusion defense got their feet under them and created a wall that none shall pass.

When it came the Illusion's turn with the ball, they could do no better, in fact they seemed to do a little worse against the strong and focused Phoenix Defense. By the end of the first quarter the Phoenix defense had gained more yardage then the Phoenix Offense. Illusion carries tended to get stuck at the line of scrimmage if lucky, all but the shortest of passes (behind the line of scrimmage) failed.

Second quarter was much like the first, a constant grinding of defense against the ball often looking more like a stampede than anything else. The Phoenix offense could get the occasional first down, but couldn't ever seem to cross the line. The Illusion offense had real problems just crossing the 50.

At the two minute warning for the half, the Phoenix rally to within spitting distance of the end zone, but with only 34 seconds left on the clock throw an interception, the only one of the game for either side. The Illusion have the ball but no time to do anything with it. At the half the score is tied, nothing to nothing.

The second half starts more of the same only better for the Phoenix defense, not satisfied with just stopping the ball's forward progression they begin pushing it back further and further. More than once in the second half it looked like the defense would be scoring with a safety.

Finally something offensive happens! 1:19 left in the 3rd quarter, the Phoenix offense manages to get one past the Illusion defense and makes a great run to the end zone, only to have it called back again due to holding. Surely they can just do it again right? Ball is on the 17th yard line, and a bad snap makes it 2nd and 17. Phoenix run it up to the 9 and the clock runs out on the 3rd quarter. Starting back on the other end, encroachment by the Illusion brings the ball to 4 and half yards from the end zone and still third down. A short run, a short gain, here we are at 4th and 3 yards to the end zone, well maybe the Phoenix can score a field goal. Nope, the kick is blocked and the Illusion make a carry for 20 (the most forward momentum they've had the whole game), and we are still scoreless.

8:55 left in the game, the Phoenix offense bring it back to within five yards of the goal line but a false start pushes them back to the 10. It's like giant magnets are pushing the ball away from the end zone. After a series of grinding drives forward the Illusion take control on the 9th. At this point the Phoenix defense has spend more time in scoring distance than their offense or anything the Illusion as brought to town.

An Illusion punt is caught by Jet bringing the Phoenix back to the six yard line, with four downs to go. We've seen this before this game, fans on both sides are white knuckled in the bleachers wondering if this would be the one. It was. 4:21 left in the game, Kodac brings it home for six. The extra point fails due to a bad snap, but at least someone got some points on the board!

The rest was anticlimax, at the final the Phoenix are now 2 and 0 with a 6-0 win over the now 0 and 2 Illusion. My pick for player of the game goes to Maria Rivera, who in a borrowed (lucky) jersey taken off of my very back, lead the Phoenix in sacks.

Come out for the next home game May 2nd at AJ Simeon Stadium in Highpoint, when the undefeated Phoenix face off against the Orlando Mayhem. Kick off is at 7pm, tickets are $10.00 at the door, or $8.00 in advance. See you there!

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:16 AM | Permalink

It might be first game jitters, but it could also be this chilly wind that has me on edge. I'm in the press section of AJ Simeon field in HIgh Point NC for the season opener, my companion tonight is the one and only teenage daughter of the Nightmare's coach. I am on my best behavior. I've got my very own camera now and this will be the first game I get to use it in.

Tonight's match up has the 30 strong Carolina Phoenix VS the fighting 15 of the Louisville Nightmare. Half of the Phoenix remember what it is like to hit the road with only 15, and eight or ten of those remember the long ride to Palm Beach Florida for their very first game fielding only 11. Spirits are high and there is a feeling of friendship shared between the Phoenix's black jerseys, and the Nightmare's blue jerseys. Did I mention being Chilly? That wind is really whipping up here.

Nightmare won the toss, Phoenix is receiving. Onside kick, Louisville recovers the ball on the 35. Phoenix won't let them gain any ground. Phoenix first possession for 23 yards. 3rd down Phoenix bad snap cost them the 23 yards back. Another high snap barely gotten, the pass tips off a Nightmare's fingers, Phoenix gets it and runs for 30. Phoenix false start cost them five. Phoenix trying to launch their Air Force, but the wind isn't clear for flying. Another over the head snap, another big loss of yards. Air Phoenix goes for another salvo, huge (lucky) catch! Air Phoenix flies again, skipping the punt and sends it into the numbers of the Nightmare blue, but she couldn't hold on.

Louisville gets possession on the 46 and gets their ground game going, making some impressive drives up the middle. 1:45 Left in the first quarter the Nightmare make a 12 yard run for six, extra point is good and the Phoenix have tasted their own blood.

Louisville tries the onside kick again, but the Phoenix is ready for that. Fool me twice.... Air Phoenix is grounded due to turbulence, but the can still run the ball. 13:30 in the second quarter, Phoenix put six on the board, but a bad snap cost them the extra point.

The game goes on. Air Phoenix keeps trying to gain altitude, but the wind has other plans. The Nightmare sticks to a ground attack, but they are having on again, off again success against the Phoenix defense. GO NAILS! She gets the ball. She runs with it. She scores! 5:26 left in the second. The extra point is good! Phoenix 13, Nightmare 7.

25 Seconds left in the half, Phoenix wants to enter the second half with a 2 in their score, so they make it a Phoenix 20 with a couple of good runs.

At the half, Phoenix 20, Nightmare 7. And folks, my fingers are cold. I have gloves, but I'm left with the ultimate dilemma, warm fingers, or accurate typing? Gloves win. Hey, ghaG AIN'G GO ABAF.

9:10 left in the 3rd Quarter, the Phoenix turn up the heat (but not to my fingers) Bad snap on the extra point though, Phoenix 26, Nightmare 7

After the kickoff, the Phoenix force a turnover, but a bad snap by the Phoenix gives it right back on the next play.

3:57 in the 4th, the Phoenix score on a mix of passes and runs. Credit where credit is due, I like the Nightmare. They remind me of the Phoenix three years earlier. 32 to 7, bad snap causes another missed extra point.

On offense, the name of the night is Nails, on defense, the player to watch is JP.

Final score Carolina Phoenix 32, Louisville Nightmare 7.

On the camera, the game ran just under two and a half hours (I recorded from the national anthem to the team meetings at the end of the game) about seven and a half gigabytes all told. It rendered into mpeg2 and looked fantastic, but it was still 7.5ish GB. I had to dumb it WAY down to get it small enough for the league upload. 1.5GB and it isn't nearly so nice.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 9:17 AM | Permalink

It was a scant few months ago that I managed to buy a couple pairs of low rise jeans, they were perfect more or less. I could wear them where I've always keep my waist and my crotch falls at my crotch and not half-way down my thigh.

These details are important when you are a fencing coach with massive thighs and really surprisingly short legs. The only thing they weren't good for was walking or teaching fencing. For working in the office, sitting in a chair, driving down the street, or dining in a restaurant they were perfect. The thing with me and walking is that the longer I walk the more oxygen enriched blood goes into legs and the tighter these pants become in my legs until they look like a masochist idea of tights.

But that's OK. I've got my other pants. My other pants are plenty lose in the legs but unfortunately are cut for someone who wears their waist about six inches higher than I do. In fact, if you were to go look at a sizing chart they would suggest that where I keep my waist is about six inches lower than it is supposed to be. Sizing charts, HA! So funny.

I'd made my peace with it all and life was good, I chose pants based on the activity of the day and they seldom let me down. If for some reason they DID let me down, I've got my emergency pants in my office that I can fall back on. Check and mate.

Then my world went spiraling into the absurd. I'd always heard that when there is a baby on the way there would be some "Eating for two". I had always assumed they were referring to the mom. During the first trimester my lovely bride lost nine pounds. Well, she says she "lost", but I know exactly where they are. They aren't lost at all, I've got them right here...in my pants. Or more precisely, just over my pants.

Sara had real trouble with nausea during that first trimester and doing my brave duty as Father-to-be-Man I swooped in for the rescue.
"What's the matter honey, your dinner not setting well? Don't worry, I'll save the day!" Twelve weeks of eating my food and hers too and suddenly things are getting a little out of sorts. Undaunted our hero devises a new plan,
"What's the matter honey, your dinner not setting well? Don't worry, we'll get a box!"
By twenty weeks I discovered that the phrase "get a box" translates into "Husband will eat it later."

And here we are at week twenty three. My skinny jeans are in a box, and I've unpacked my fat jeans. Yesterday at the OB's office Sara had gained a pound in the past two weeks, Father-to-be-Man packed on five. Those maternity pants are starting to look like a good idea. I mean, I've always carried my weight in just one place which happens to be where a baby would incubate on a woman. Who would notice right? I'd lose the ability to tuck in my shirts, but lets face reality here, there's no room in my pants for shirt tails anyway. Summer's coming, I can pull off the relaxed out of the pants look.

Yesterday I put on my largest pants, those pants that were in a box slated to go to Goodwill. These pants are the last line of defense between my underwear and an unsuspecting world. It took ten minutes, and a hand cramp to get them buttoned. An hour and a half later I realized that I was so tired from trying to get them on that I had completely forgotten to zip them.

Swell.

An hour after that I had to go to the men's room. You know, number two. Now I'm trapped in a tiny stall trying to get my pants buttoned up. By the time I managed to achieve this high minded goal I had two hand cramps, I was soaked in sweat, my face was red and more than one men's room patron suggestion that maybe I should get a room. It was about an hour later that I realized that I was so out of sorts from the battle of the button I had forgotten to zip my pants.

Swell.

I blame genetics and the knowledge that food taste good. Genetics purpose built me so I could move heavy things. A car, uphill, onto a trailer. I'm your man. Short powerful legs give me leverage to get low on something and power it up. Up-sized rib cage has more surface area to attach chest muscles too. Extra long torso gives me plenty of room for abs. All of my body fat stored in my stomach area-- Well, I'm not sure what they were thinking when they did that one, unless they knew that I was going to spend a lot of time in my adult hood living in the country out working in the yard naked as the day I was born. Yeah, that's probably it. They knew that was going to happen so they put all my extra weight in the front to protect my junk from sunburn.

Of course, its impossible for me to really verify this. I haven't seen my junk since high school. So here I am with a 29 inseam, 42, 44, maybe a 46 waist wearing extra tall shirts to cover me over the up and down and 3X to cover me in the around. Maternity clothing might not be too bad an idea after all. Its time to do some research! We've been wearing cloths for thousands of years, surely in all of fashion history there was a period of clothing that would suit my rather utilitarian build. The toga comes quickly to mind, as does the kilt, but the answer may in fact come from my taste in Steampunk.

There was a period in fashion where men wore pants six inches above where I wear mine and rather than being held in place with a belt (which wont work because of that whole breathing thing) are held in place with suspenders. I'm wearing the vest and cap already, it may be time to suck it up and embrace the breeches and braces as well. It is time to tap my inner gentleman. Only I'll never word it like that again, my hand to god.

Seriously. I promise I'll never say that phrase again.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 8:18 AM | Permalink

The Carolina Phoenix will be kicking off their 2009 season with a home game at AJ Simeon Stadium in High Point. Kick off for all home games is at 7pm.

This first game will be against the Louisville Nightmare a brand new and untested team. If you've been following the Phoenix since their X-Team days you know that "brand new" and "untested" does not necessarily equal weak. They don't have their roster up yet, so I don't know how many they will be bringing, but I'm sure it will be a great game.

The Phoenix are looking good, though some of their veterans won't be returning to the field this year. Grandma is recovering from neck surgery, and having retired from the game is turning her vast experience towards coaching. Poetry has also moved to the coaching side. Tank is out this season on maternity leave, but still functions as the IWFL team delegate. I have to take fully responsibility for that one. Seven has been on light duty during practices, and everyone is wondering if she will have medical clearance from off season back surgery to play. That still leaves 30 very fit, very well trained players itching to take the field come game time.

The Phoenix will have their first three games at home this season, and will be traveling as far as Palm Beach Florida before playoff time. Come on out to AJ Simeon Stadium in High Point and wave to the camera, I'll wave back. If you bring your friends, I might even grill up some chicken or BBQ at the tailgate parties at the last three home games. I hear High Point's Mayor is a Phoenix fan and might be making an appearance.

AJ Simeon Stadium 2920 School Park Road High Point, NC 27265 Kick off will be 7PM for all home games. General Admission - $10 Seniors, Students (ages 13 and Older) and Military and Law Enforcement with ID - $5 Children under 12 - Free

Order your tickets online here, or get them at the door at game time.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:34 AM | Permalink

Living in a city for the past several months I have managed to get an excellent look into the habits of the mysterious urban dog owner. Often mistaken the common Homo Sapien Urbanus, the similar Homo Sapien Caniwalkus displays certain subtle differences that can be hard to distinguish without a thorough dissection.

With your continued support we will be able to observe this truly unique species in their own habitat without the use of black helicopters, abduction, and the usual anal probes that follow.

Here's what we've discovered so far:

The symbiotic relationship between the dog and its urban human is way more complex than that of the dog and its rural owner. In the wild we have observed the human collecting the dog's dropping and taking them home with them in plastic bags. Although we haven't been able to deduce why, some popular theories include the use of the dung in home building, a possible religious connection with the dog's dung being used in a ceremony. Another theory that is losing ground in recent years is the possibility that the dung may be a stored food source based on the fact that dogs will eat dung in certain circumstances.

Other observations have revealed that an dog and its human will cross the street avoiding the contact of non-dog walking humans. This may be a natural wariness between two similar but different species. It may also be a behavior of the dog to jealously guard their human from other non-dog walking human contacts. We do know that dogs with humans will often walk in small packs, offering even more protection.

Because we see so many of the sapien caniwalkus on the move we can guess that they are a nomadic species that seem to travel in a well worn seldom strayed upon circular path. The path is marked by urine making finding the exact path again by smell alone possible.

We will have more information on this amazing animal as studies continue on their diet, mating habits, and society.

Posted by Woody Cavenaugh at 10:32 AM | Permalink