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Deserving Exile

When your son asks you for a horseback ride, and you deliver, and he slips off before you or your wife can catch him, biting his own lip in the process, then you instantly go from feeling like the World's Best Daddy to not feeling fit for associating with human society.


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You know how a guy feels another guy's pain just from watching him get kicked in the balls. I read that Chip, and I truly felt pain for you. Suck.

Wait'll you're carrying two kids around at once and bash one's head into a door frame. And I mean "wait" literally, because it WILL happen.

You, Lex, are a font of reassurance.

The most dangerous household object to a toddler may well be a Daddy.

Don't feel too bad; I think my older sister dropped me on my head once or twice.

Even better was the time my mother was using our old, old movie camera to film my brother's first attempts at sliding down the sliding board: He sits down at the top of the board, leans to the left, leans to the right, then falls smack on to the ground -- a solid three-foot drop. All the while the camera didn't even waver.

My mom was like, "Well, he was the second child. You're not so paranoid that they'll break anymore." :)