Just a Few More Minutes

(Just remember, I gave you a chance to add your own disclaimer.)

This, from the man who has over a thousand single issues of comics after the cull of two years ago. The man who only last month finally cancelled all his "Superman" titles AFTER letting them pile up unread for over a year, who didn't want to end the unbroken set all the way back to god-knows-when. This from the man who has been in a funk over the latest issue of "Identity Crisis" essentially turning the story into second-rate fanfiction-quality dreck. And who has over 30 action figures decorating his side of the den.

This from the man who will read anything J. Michael Straczynski writes in the comics, who will watch any show he creates or produces, who spent hours upon hours over at rec.arts.sf.tv.b5 being the Voice of Reason. After being dragged into the show by his best friend and a weekend marathon of the first season and a half.

This from the man who has driven hundreds of miles to see bands (even when they're just opening with a short set), sometimes on back-to-back nights. Who checks band messageboards every day, once again to be the Voice of Reason. Who now owns a bodhran and FOUR whistles and dreams of one day playing the bagpipes.

This from the man who has spent untold hours playing online games, from "Civilization I/II/III" to "Doom" and its blood-spattered variants, to multi-player online games like "Neverwinter Nights" to multi-player games for which you have to shell out every month on top of paying for the software. And don't forget hanging out on the "Star Wars: Galaxies" messageboards being the Voice of Reason.

You, my darling, have absolutely no bloody room whatsoever to talk.

(blinks) And your point is...?

We all have our fandoms, and as a rule I don't tease about yours.

You can't possibly think that HARRY and Hermione will be an item, can you? It's clearly Ron and Hermione. Steel thyself.

My boy Benjamin. all of 9 years old, has read all six of the books. He, Lisa and I were at the midnight sale of Book Six two years ago. I was finished 36 hours later, Lisa 12 hours after that (she had watched the kids while I read; we switched for her to finish). I'm already on pins and needles.

Oh, and Chip, now that Cerebus and Bone are done I'm down to about three titles (Hellboy, SiP and T&K).

T.J., it's great to "see" you, but dude...

(1) Book FIVE came out two years ago. Book SIX is the one coming out this summer. Keep 'em straight.

(2) If Ron & Hermione get together at all, it'll be a short-lived fling ending in either Ron's death (heavily foreshadowed in the first book) or them realizing just how incompatible they are. H/Hr is all about the subtlety and subtext, and JKR never goes for the obvious.

Say hi to Lisa and the boys for me!

Chip, you've forgotten the ultimate outcome...Ron dies and the whole issue becomes moot.

Shannon, don't even bother trying to convince the 'average reader' of what we know to be fact. JKR has, in fact, left herself two ways to go, neither of which include Ron and Hermione lurve, one which will shock everyone, especially the average fan.

Steel thyself, indeed.

:)

Five. Right. That's what I meant. Put Five everywhere I said Six.

Hey, are you calling ME an "average fan"? I think I'm insulted.

T.J., is your devotion to all things Potter as deep as your devotion to fantasy baseball was (according to Chip)? Then yes, you're an average Potter fan. ;-)

Ah, then it's a compliment. :)

Chip and Shannon, you guys need to e-mail us your "real" address to confirm it's still the same. We've got a Christmas card and a family update for you.

I can't believe that this subject has turned into the longest comment thread in my blog.

You're welcome. :)

My money is on Hermione becomming pregnet and keeping it a thinly veiled secret for a whole book before it is revealed that she's been sleeping with a demon.

Later the demon/wizard hybred child slaughters Harry and levels Hogwarts....

Woody, you could write fanfiction.

If it were fanfic then Hermione would be sleeping with a demon, and Ron and Harry would be involved. The demon (which would be female) would take on Hermione's form and seduce both Ron and Harry, implanting the resulting child in Hermione during their next relations.

Now that's a fanfic.

OK, here we go. Hermione has been a demon agent for a Voldemort all this time. She has slept with nearly all the staff at Hogwarts(and Draco, for good measure) and has laid her eggs in each. Magic becomes dispelled at Hogwarts and the story degenerates into "Lord of the Flies" with a surprise appearance by a residential "bug slayer/Hogwarts dropout"("Yeah, I remember facing this creature in 'X' 's class." "What did you do, then?!" "I failed..."). Someone finds the "fusebox" to restore magic to Hogwarts just in time to resolve everything within 700 pages. Harry and Ron share a tender moment in the trenches while battling the Hermoine larvae and someone dies in the very end by the last shot a 'la "All quiet on the Western Front".

Draco turns out to be the lovechild of Harry and ??? sent back in time to discredit and humiliate Harry. Indiana Jones shows up in chapter 26 to kill the commie zombies. Rorshach gets thrown through a window.

Is that a fanfic?

Chip, if Hermione dies, I believe not even the FBI will be able to help you.

That said, my own prediction is that both Ron and Hermione survive the series but Harry dies in Book 7 in the act of taking out Voldemort once and for all. There was a lot of subtle stuff in Book 4 to the effect that Harry and V. have this unbreakable bond, which leads me to think that neither can survive without the other.

Entirely possible, however, that before dying, Harry fathers a child, perhaps with Luna Lovegood (now THERE's a surname to conjure with, eh?).

But you're all forgetting that Ron is actually Dumbledore, sent back in time in order to try and change things in Harry's favor! Can't have a fanfic without including that! ;)

Chip - cute post. Shannon - Dude, you mean Ron isn't Dumbledore?

'K so, I'll play. Ron and Hermione are totally going to hook up. Harry and Ginny are going to evenatully be united in an arranged marriage through Mr. Weasley's connections with the Ministry of Magic. Ginny will have an affair with Malfoy, who it will turn out, is the demon embodiment of Voldemort sent back from the future to destroy Harry and all who love him. Voldemort is so clever, that he planned out this whole elaborate scheme from the goblet of fire on, in order to acheive ultimate badass atatus.... or something...

Sleeping with a demon, eh? (couldn't resist sending Chip's comment count up to a nice, round 20)

I've seen a fanfic where Hermione sleeps with Snape, does that count? :)