Get the CPU! Part II
Remember A Charlie Brown Christmas? Remember the Christmas tree? "Augh! Everything I touch is ruined!" Well, that's been my week with computers.
- On an otherwise calm Saturday afternoon, my wife vacuums up the headset attached to my computer, which had fallen to the floor. Rips that sucker in two. I see no damage to the computer itself, and go buy a new headset.
- Later that day, the display goes nuts on my computer, which then fails to boot on a restart. I follow Mark's advice and apply the smell test. Video card smells hot. Something must have burned out. I pull Shannon's video card and put it in my machine. It works.
- Buy replacement video card with money I needed to use on a flooring project. It works! Throw away old card.
- Three days later: my computer dies again. I have my first aneurysm. I pull the new card out of my machine and put it in Shannon's machine. It works.
- It must have been the motherboard all along! I think. That means the video card might still be.... The trash hasn't been taken out yet. Shannon and I dig through and find the card, which has come in contact with what I shall call vegetable matter.
- An hour of cleaning with rubbing alcohol and Q-Tips commences. I test-fire the vegetable card in Shannon's computer. It works -- at first. But not in the 3D game Shannon and I have been playing a lot of lately. A couple of days of tweaking fail to resolve whether the card doesn't like Shannon's computer or the card doesn't work.
- (Or, if it doesn't work, whether that's because it really did burn out or because I threw it in the kitchen trash....)
- Meanwhile, my computer is still DOA. After racking my brains trying to figure out the cheapest way to figure out just what isn't working, I wind up taking it to the Geek Squad at Best Buy. They are useless: "We don't test motherboards." They suggest I reseat all the components and try it again.
- I do.
- It works.
- I have another aneurysm.
- I try the vegetable card in my computer. It works flawlessly.
- See step 10.
- OK, so the vegetable card works, and I've wasted money on a new video card I didn't need. But it doesn't like Shannon's computer. My parents' computer has a different chipset. I know! I'll swap their card with the vegetable card, putting their card in Shannon's computer, so everyone will net a performance increase!
- I spend a much later Saturday evening than planned at my parents' house performing the swap (and installing a new floppy drive). The vegetable card does not work.
- See step 10.
- I come home to a new status quo. My computer: new video card. Shannon's computer: ancient video card. Child: 102 degree fever.
- The next day, my computer fails to boot. I reseat the components. It boots.
- Alcohol.
- Repeat step 18.