There's something in my future -- a month from now, if I can pull myself together. An opportunity to test myself, to try to achieve something that seemed physically unthinkable more than ten years ago.
I'm out of shape. I need to get in shape.
I'm distracted and stressed. I need to find focus and calm.
I'm afraid, a little bit. I need to get over it.
And I need to -- want to -- do it within the next four weeks, so that my sensei will perceive that I am ready to earn my black belt in aikido.
Yesterday morning I grabbed Shannon's iPod and ran for the first time in months. Today my ankles feel like they are immobilized with steel pins, and I'm walking like a toddler.
It's going to be a tough four weeks.