" /> Just a Few More Minutes: September 2005 Archives

« July 2005 | Main | October 2005 »

September 11, 2005


There's something in my future -- a month from now, if I can pull myself together. An opportunity to test myself, to try to achieve something that seemed physically unthinkable more than ten years ago.

I'm out of shape. I need to get in shape.

I'm distracted and stressed. I need to find focus and calm.

I'm afraid, a little bit. I need to get over it.

And I need to -- want to -- do it within the next four weeks, so that my sensei will perceive that I am ready to earn my black belt in aikido.

Yesterday morning I grabbed Shannon's iPod and ran for the first time in months. Today my ankles feel like they are immobilized with steel pins, and I'm walking like a toddler.

It's going to be a tough four weeks.

Forced Out of the Bunker

Um, hi.

The last few weeks have been an experience in concentrated sensory overload. I've been alternately tired, stressed, lonely, distracted and nostalgic. I've also had some moments of indescribable bliss. The only constant has been busy-ness (not business, although that's been a part of it). What's gone with that has been isolation. I haven't had sufficient focus to call old friends, write in this blog (or in any other format, for that matter), read, or keep up with any number of hobbies or interests that are very important to me.

I'm not a fan of blog-as-confessional, and I'm not trying to turn this one into a mere online diary. But if any of y'all are still out there, that's why I haven't been writing. And, since I'm trying to reassert control over my days and reconnect with the people, relationships and things that have defined me over the years, that's why I need to start it up again.